To be honest I only loaded this up to see the title screen. I should probably turn it off now.
I'm not sure how no one noticed that white on yellow is more or less unreadable. Well, it probably didn't say anything important or relevant anyway.
Looks more like a graveyard to me. Either way, it's not my first choice of places to be. I'll go check left.
Uh, just as soon as I find what key makes me walk left.
Excellent! I've found the keys for left AND right. Plus I've figured out how to duck. Hey is that a cop?
Fantastic, he just walked up and started beating the crap out of me for no reason. And then someone else threw a grenade in at me from off screen.
Okay, the good news is I've been resurrected. The bad news is that I was killed, the enemy is still alive and I still don't even know how to fight back.
It turned out to be the space bar plus left or right to punch. And space plus up is jump! I also found out what up is, which is handy too.
Oh, plus I murdered the enemy and stole his gun.
Well, it was nice while it lasted. I'll continue heading right onto the next screen.
Oh crap, he's got a rocket launcher. His targeting crosshair is moving after me on screen. That gun I used up would have been nice to have around now.
I knocked out rocket launcher guy, but tragically he didn't drop it for me to pick up. But I have found a hole in the ground, so there's that.
I'm not sure where it goes, but it looks like it's going somewhere... magenta.
Damn, that can't be good for your eyes.
Thanks game, it was good that you dropped a rock on me out of nowhere and killed me just then.
Is that... a flamethrower? Why are these people following me down here anyway? Who the hell would voluntarily come down here? It has magenta skulls on the walls. And the walls are magenta too.
Monkey... MONKEY!
RUN!
Okay, I think I lost him. I think... I think I'm safe here for the moment.
Well I've got no where else to go, so I might as well give it a shot. Maybe I'll get lucky and it'll kill him, and I can stop playing.
Still alive, and still trapped in the magenta catacombs. But they've swapped out the background skulls for eyes.
Uh... I'll just get back on that ladder then and go shall I?
LATER.
By some miracle I actually managed to escape that creature. Then I died while climbing back down the ladder.
But now I've got a better idea how to play and what the controls are, I'm giving it another shot.
This... is an entirely different chasm from last time isn't it? Damn, I think I'm lost.
Whatever, I'll jump down anyway. It's better than hanging around up here with the giant fly.
It's another one of those monsters, but this time I'm ready for it! I kicked his head clean off his body. Or maybe he fired it at me as a weapon, it's hard to tell.
Either way, now I've got a chance to get past him and go through that door.
Rewind the tape? Am I going back to somewhere I've already been?
Crap, I'm back on the surface again. Hmm, I'll go right and check out the crypt.
Now I'm back in here again?
I am so bored of this. Next game.
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