Hi there! Don't mind me, I'm just...
That will be the last time I work the title of the game into a sentence.
I'm told that Killing Time is the pinnacle of 3DO gaming (don't laugh!). Every household owning a 3DO must own a copy of Killing Time, else they'd be missing out, they said. Be they true?
According to the FMV montage intro sequence, I play an Egyptologist who's decided to conduct an armed raid on an abandoned mansion in search of a Mysterious Egyptian Thing. A friend of mine found the Thing on an expedition, but the patron of said expedition decided to take it for themselves. As far as I can tell, they were entitled to take it if they wanted, so I'm playing as a jealous, cold blooded psychopath who can't accept other people having nice things.
This post contains scenes of violence, gore and 3DO graphics.
I'm torn whether these screens look more like the Oddworld games or The Chaos Engine. Don't quite see anybody getting very far trying to play an FPS with a great big flight stick, though.
Okay, just started, I'm already lost. I'm facing a bunch of bushes and I can't go forward.
The green orb is a health pickup. You start at 50% health, so I don't know why my guy didn't pick it up before the game started. Perhaps it fell out of his pocket just before the game began.
When you're lost and you don't know your way home, find an FMV policeman. If you can't find a living policeman, ghost policemen are an acceptable substitute. The virtua cop is warning me to stay away from Tess, but I cannot rest until I've recovered the Mysterious Thing.
I found these two fellows having an argument about where they should store the guns and ammunition as they smuggle them through here. They agree on 'more or less everywhere'.
I don't know whether this cutscene is designed to set the scene, or to serve as an explanation for why there would be ammunition crates spread around the grounds of the mansion. It's almost certainly the second one.
Before we reach the mansion, I must first master a vast, featureless, orangey-pink maze filled with digitized shotgun-wielding hunters. They're the only foe here, but they're dangerous enough.
They can shoot you from a great distance and they'll get one or two shots off before you can get them centred in your view. It's nearly impossible to sneak up on them. They take up to six pistol shots, and they rarely drop ammo.
The best strategy is to weave and bob about the place as fast as you can, considering the 3DO pad. For some reason, moving towards and away from them is more effective than dodging from side to side and it keeps them in front of you.
The combat in Killing Time is incredibly fast paced. If you're not running about the place like a mad thing, you're dead.
They're almost as dangerous the ducks.
Hundreds upon hundreds of ducks.
I thought the ducks were an enemy at first, which is why I have no ammo and one percent health. Turns out they're actually harmless and you can squash them by running over them.
Whatever part of the game which handles duck stomping isn't restricted to the player. Run around the outer edge of the room and the ducks will end up squashing each other to death.
When you kill an enemy, they'll either drop ammo, a small health pickup (a white orb) or a small un-health pickup (a red orb). There's a small delay before the pickup appears, so you're best running head-first into these duck groups then spinning around and seeing if you've uncovered anything of use. If you fumble around, you'll end up picking up the un-health powerups and missing the health powerups.
Those crates of smuggled ammunition we were promised are few and far between. I can only guess the ducks must have ate them.
After many hardships, I've found the mansion.
The FMV ghost butler tells me I'm not allowed in because I don't have an invitation. He doesn't do anything physically to stop me, nor is there any kind of apparent barrier. The character simply is too polite to raid the mansion uninvited.
Good job we've got a map, so we can figure out where the heck we have and haven't been.
This level is called 'Duck and Cover', ho ho.
Mysterious Egyptian Thing obtained!
This particular one allows me to see enemies on the map. It only lasts a couple of minutes, but it's a lifesaver. It doesn't distinguish between hunters and ducks, but it's better than stumbling into a room unprepared, giving the hunters a free shot while try to spin around to face them.
Damn straight, ghost butler. We're in the mansion!
Look at that massive open space up ahead, this would be a perfect time for a boss battle! Or perhaps a frantic stand-off against the mansion's insane residents! (Not that I would stand a chance in either situation. I have very little ammo and can't see a damned thing.)
Nothing. This place is completely empty. There's no enemies, ammo or powerups. I'm not even getting mocked by a evil spooky voice. I'm starting to lose my enthusiasm.
Here's an exciting cutscene where the ghost butler has an argument with another man about a large box that they're having trouble getting through a narrow door.
You're free to walk away from these ghost cutscenes, which is neat. They only appear if you're in the exact right place and it's tricky to get some of them to work.
Upstairs, a locked door.
Downstairs, a locked door.
Excuse me, I'm lost again. Can you help me?
Even though they're visually indistinguishable from the FMV cutscene ghost characters, these ladies smack me in the face and kill me.
I was also being attacked by two foot tall bipedal ants. They're dark brown and so is the carpet.
Killing Time is a hideous pile of mistakes tied together and called a game. Everything about it is pretty much bad. The strangest thing about it is that the level of bad is so consistent, it kinda works. If you can imagine how the ideal horror-themed first person shooter would be like within the limits of the 3DO's crappy hardware and crappy pad, you'd have Killing Time.
If you have a 3DO, get Killing Time. Then get help.