Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES) - Guest Post

Occasional contributor K-hos selflessly jumps in to distract attention from my frankly pathetic attempt at Super Ghouls 'N Ghosts, with his own take on another classic platformer.


After the title screen I'm just dumped on a world map. No explanation or anything.

For all I know I could be playing as a mass murderer who wants nothing more than to stomp on all the
hapless locals and then kidnap Bowser's wife.

First level, and I only manage enough button mashing to make it over the first enemy.

No wonder everything wants to kill Mario, Look at that plumbing job! It's horrible!

Mario handles like a freight train on ice. And for some reason jumps in an upside down V not an arc. It makes it very hard to do anything.

Continue seems to just wipe your progress and restart you back to 1-1 instead of actually letting you continue.

Ffff...

FFFFFFFFFFFFFF...

Holy crap he's coming right for me!


A FEW SECONDS OF YELLING AND AWKWARD BUTTON MASHING LATER.


HA!

It took 3 lives before I realized you don't have to do anything here.

I hate this game. 

I don't see the problem, the other half of the populous either has fungus growing on their head or have shells on their backs. In fact, Mario seems to be the only human for miles.

It all makes sense now, it's a post apocalyptic world, everything has been turned into mutants!


Can't say I had any fun playing that.

7 comments:

  1. This guy is either terrible at video games or terribly unfunny.

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  2. He just hates Mario for some reason. We're still trying to figure that one out. :P

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  3. Bad review, mate. Mario 3 is one of the best games ever made. This review (unlike most other reviews on SAG, this site here) I really don't agree with one bit. It feels... Rushed, like it's not even finished, no time spent learning to play the game, no patience.

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    Replies
    1. Wow, I go to all of the trouble of finding the one person on Earth who dislikes Mario 3 and convincing him to write about his unique perspective on the game, and this is the reaction I get?

      Yeah to be honest early 2011 wasn't a great time for this site. I was still struggling to figure out what I was doing with it, working from the feedback I was getting to slowly hammer my articles into the shape they tend to be now. This wasn't written by me, but it's a reflection of the crap I was writing at the time and so it's entirely my fault. Not that I'm going to take any kind of credit for the guy's opinion, but I provided a rubbish frame for him to display it in.

      I'm still on the fence about wiping these early articles, as right now they're like landmines hidden between the newer posts. But on the other hand it doesn't seem right somehow to erase the site's history like that. It was what it was, it is what it is, and hopefully it'll be what it should be.

      Delete
    2. I also do not like Mario 3, I think that Super Mario World was the first enjoyable game in the series.

      K-hos made ​​great comments about SMB3, and that 'everything wants to kill Mario' was one of the best jokes about Mario games!

      I think that Super Mario 3 could get a new and more detailed review!

      Delete
  4. Ray: Free Speech! I would just simply keep this post up, others too like this, it's interesting to get another perspective on Mario 3, I guess!

    Anon: Super Mario is the 2nd best Mario game of all time imo. More detailed and thorough review indeed, maybe a 2nd or updated one at that.

    Well said guys, btw.

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    1. I can't get around to it any time soon as it won't fit into my elaborate and arbitrary plans, but I'm sure the game's got a 25th anniversary coming up in a year or so I can play it for. Besides, I haven't even played Super Mario Bros 1 yet. Or Mario Bros for that matter.

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