Saturday, 23 April 2011

The Adventures of Tintin: Prisoners of the Sun (SNES)

Hey, it looks just like the book cover. I've got to give it full marks for that.

This looks nice, but I'm a little disturbed how everyone here is frozen entirely still.

It appears like I'm in a room surrounded by people, but I'm worried that if I look closer they'll all turn out to be cardboard cutouts and it'll turn out that I was all alone the whole time, talking to myself.

Anyway, I've got a thing to deal with. To the next room!

Another room of cardboard cutouts, and oh noes it's a perfectly ordinary man, and he's walking towards me! I race to evade him, mostly out of boredom.

Fortunately I can hide in the background from him. The terrible crisis is over, and the threat has subsided. I creep out and continue my journey.

Oh crap, a skinny looking scientist guy. And he has a beard! I manage to evade him too, and come across this kid playing with a toy. Well, the kid remains entirely motionless, so I guess the toy is playing with itself, but whatever.

I go to walk past, and to my surprise I take damage. I guess I was hit by the toy.

Then suddenly a thought occurs to me. It's a stupid thought, but curiosity gets the better of me and I decide to check and make sure anyway. I backtrack to the people I jokingly evaded, still pacing up and down the corridor, and I walk into one of them.

I take damage.

What the fuck?

This is serious business now. I feel like a man who woke up one day to find that vampires are real, and they live next door! Everyone's out to get me, and if they catch me I'll die.

I run through the corridor of frozen cardboard figures, diving between foreground and background to evade anything moving. They never once react to me jumping around their museum, just continue to patrol left and right, but I know they're all trying to kill me.

Finally I escape the corridor of death, and reach a pitch black room with a glowing light switch. I turn the lights on to find myself in some kind of storage room... and something is ticking.

Damn, I can't get up here. Not like this anyway. I guess I need a running jump.

I have to leap across the broken boxes, or else Tintin might get a splinter and die.

Quick thinking gives me a path up to the next box, but I'm getting a bit concerned about that ticking noise...

Damn. Well at least the ticking has stopped now.

Okay, I can still do this, this isn't a huge problem. I'm pretty sure I still remember where the broken box was so I can still jump over it.

Dzing! 00% completion!

Next game.


  1. I just wanted to say that I like how you cleverly turned this Tintin videogame review into the tale of a man's paranoid descent into madness (ending with a bomb, apparently). Priceless!

    1. My whole site has been a tale of a man's paranoid descent into madness. But Tintin wasn't paranoid, he really was surrounded by cardboard body snatchers who could steal his life-force away with a touch!

      Also looking back at this again I can't believe I didn't mention the perspective failure on that crate he picked up. It's giving me a headache trying to figure out how that thing would look from his point of view.


Semi-Random Game Box