Tuesday, 12 April 2011

Speedy Gonzales in Los Gatos Bandidos (SNES)

Will it be as bad as the Road Runner games?

Man, cats are just assholes aren't they? This was all animated by the way. Mice were jumping, shadows were creeping etc.

A world map, always a good sign in my opinion. I like to be able to unlock a level to play on whenever I feel like, maybe to go and grab some power ups I'll need, or find secrets.

Why is the mouse cage rocking back and forth, like the pendulum in a clock ticking down the seconds until their execution? Ohhhh, I get it.

I'm a mouse, this is a mouse trap, so I hesitated for a moment before jumping onto it. Turns out it just springs you up in the air. Full marks for originality, minus points for making it look like it'd instantly kill me.

Oh yeah, it's a platformer. Shock.

Speedy controls alright. Most of the time he just jogs along, you need to get him going downhill for a bit to really pick up speed. It's not another Road Runner, thankfully.

Wow, I just got kicked in the ass by a boot hidden in a wall. It seems like I should be going this way anyway so thanks for the boost I guess.

Damn, maybe I'll try it without the boost next time. Instant kill bottomless pits kill you instantly.

I can't jump on these guys, but I can run up to them and kick them flying off the level. With their mouths frozen in a grotesque silent scream and their eyes flickering with pain.

It hasn't yet gotten old.

Ugh, these platforms start falling the instant you step on them. You have to immediately jump to the next platform, and if you're too slow you've got to backtrack out of the room for them to respawn.

Also they remind me of chocolate covered biscuits.

Aha, a subtle clue! These are probably supposed to be cheese, but I'm going to pretend that they're choc-chip cookies to give me some motivation to collect the things. Man, I wish I had 158 cookies right now.

Oh look, it's pointing to one of the mice I'm supposed to be rescuing. Oh no, you don't suppose I'm going to have to search the entire level to find them all before it'll let me out do you?

I hate collect 'em ups.

Oh, another bottomless pit, great. What's up with that rock face by the way? Seems unnaturally colourful, but then what do I know about rocks?

Not that I'm implying that bottomless pits are necessarily bad game design, plenty of good platformers have them. I just don't much like falling down them.

I reached the next level! For some reason I had to finish two levels to get back to the world map, which is annoying, but at least I didn't need to rescue all the mice. There's something like six of them still caged up back there, about to be eaten. Probably eaten alive knowing these cats.

But screw 'em! If you're stupid enough to end up in a cage you deserve everything you get.

I tried to vibrate my molecules using my super speed to phase through the bars, but it didn't work.

Well, I guess I'll just wait here for a bit then... maybe I can eat a couple of those cookies now. Oh good, I've lost a life and reset back to the last checkpoint. The mice you rescue act as checkpoints, giving you a reason to actually bother to look for any of them.

I passed one of these warning signs a while back, near to a tiny little pit of spikes I had to jump over. Somehow this sign isn't filling me with concern.

Ow! Instakill spikes, how annoying.

That cat shadow sneaking up along the wall is so creepy that I had to let the timer run out to see if any mouse eating took place on screen.

It did not.

Add this to the pile of slick, competent, well presented, but otherwise uninteresting platformers starring cartoon characters. If I was forced at gunpoint to play 100 SNES platformers in a row, it'd probably make the list. But otherwise... next game.

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Semi-Random Game Box