Windwalker (MS-DOS) - Guest Post

Mecha-neko is back, and this time he's dragged this in with him. Please don't get your hopes up, it says 'Windwalker', not 'Wind Waker'.

Once upon a time, our hero trains diligently at the foot of a large Buddha.

A flash of lightning! It turns out to be a big scary skeleton Buddha!

Meanwhile... I don't know who this is.

But I've clearly disturbed him. (And aren't you Hawke from Dragon Age 2?)

Wait! What happened! Come back, Hawke! What am I supposed to do?!

I guess I'm now the gigantic floating severed head of the guy from the intro. I can move around the map, tile by tile, and I have lots of blue on my stat abacus. I currently have full bullness, jaggedness, cookerness and yanginess. My three main skills: I can reach into my magic hat using my big Stretch Armstrong arms, eat people, or use my desktop computer.

I had a quick chat to this fellow in the hat. He wanted to know if I wanted any information on PEOPLE or PLACES. I said I'd love all the information he could offer. He couldn't offer me any information because I hadn't encountered any PEOPLE or PLACES yet. We parted ways.

I wonder if this guy wants to talk to me? I guess not.

Oo-'eck.

Oh boy. Um. Well, I've got full bullishness, so I guess I'd better ignore his threat.

We fight! He's got a knife, which is a bit unfair I think.

Nevertheless, you'll get a lesson from teacher now: kick, punch!

Ingame, you click the icons to move your guy and to execute different moves. The game waits for you to make a move before it advances time, which is nice.

ARGH.

The bandit knifes me in the guts.

That fight didn't go anywhere near as well as I hoped.

The game has decided, somewhat generously, that the deep knife wound to the gut has only stunned me into unconsciousness.

The bandit disappears with the money I didn't even know I had.

You're welcome, FRIEND! Hah.

Feeling decidedly less bullish than before, I decide to explore the world in search of medical attention. I asked around to see if anybody had seen my assailant, but he apparently didn't count as PEOPLE.

That was, until I got ambushed by a ninja.

And then I got stunned into unconsciousness by a ninja.

Nice cape. Does he have little coloured lights on his gloves and boots like Dynamo from The Running Man?

It's the Spectre of Death, and he's come for me! Not the character I'm playing as in the game, but me, the player! The blue haired hero is a bit upset.

He tries and fails to take my soul and blames it on my Karma. Robot cats don't have souls OR karma, you silly billy.

I reawaken at the shrine, where my master tells me that I have survived to seek my Destiny. He docks me one notch off my Karma meter though.

I squander my second chance at life by immediately getting killed by a different ninja. Death comes, leaves, and I'm back at the shrine again.

I've got eight more notches on the karma abacus, but I don't think I can stand it any longer.