Metal Rage (MS-DOS) - Guest Post

Wandering contributor mecha-neko stops by to show off a tank game he's found.

That does say 'Metal Rage'. You'll have to take my word for it.

A rendered chopper and tank combo! Does this mean this game is going to be like Silkworm? That would be most welcome.

Not Silkworm, then. It's a first person 3D polygon tank in a city blaster.

The anime lass advises that I become accustomed to the tank controls. I'll need a PASS to get through electric fences. I seem to have lost my PASS! Where could my PASS be? Have you seen my PASS?

Gah, this tank controls like a tank! It doesn't have two separate tread controls like Katamari Damacy, but it's still damn difficult. Here's a boat!

Look out! I've found a base! Or has the base found me?! Quick, I've got to

And the tutorial suddenly ends. I'm not told how any of my weapons work, or what I should use against what, or if I have a map, or anything. The camera majestically pans across the untextured polygon town.

Alright, pink haired girl, missiles for the choppers it is. Time to wreak some havoc!

It takes me a few tries to fit the tank down the narrow streets of the town without getting stuck on the street corners. Where exactly am I going, anyway?

It sure is a quiet evening in this drab looking place.

I don't know why they didn't properly brief me, or at least give me a map. I guess I'll use this Titus the Fox International Arena as my landmark.

Hey! It's the chopper I was warned about! Time to...

... GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

I've lost the chopper, but there's tanks and APCs whizzing around me like nobody's business.

I bet this punk thinks he's snuck up behind me.

He's dead wrong.

There's tanks, APCs and turrets everywhere I look. I try to run away, but most of the roads are blocked. I don't even have the luxury of a compass to tell me which way I'm facing, so I'm often crashing into my pursuers. It's hopeless.

Here's me getting shot by the enemy. Hooray.

The concept of fast paced tank combat in a silly polygon town is sound, but the implementation is complete crap. There's no entertainment to be had here.

The enemies are everywhere and know how to use their stuff way better than I do. They seem to be able to glide and spin around the place elegantly while I'm making huge circles about the place trying to face in the right direction long enough to hit them with something. The controls are the cursor keys to move and turn and Q-Z to aim up and down. In five retries of the game, I don't think I landed a single shot on the chopper with any weapon.

You get one life, and it's back to the main menu. You have to play the tutorial mission again. ESC instantly quits to DOS and it doesn't save your settings when you quit. It wants me to hate it, so I do. Begone.