Valis: The Fantasm Soldier (Genesis/Mega Drive)

She looks familiar somehow...

Oh, it's ice cream sword girl! 'The Fantasm Soldier'? The Valis people should get together with the Phantasy Star people and arrange a swap.

Well, I don't have double jump in this one, or an 'armour' screen, and my sword isn't even a gun yet. But she's STILL dressed like a schoolgirl.

Oh c'mon, that's a hit! You just got hit then, I have photographic evidence. This sword is a bit crap really.

See, you CAN hit them, the game was just being a dick.

Those flying things are a pain in the ass, swoopin' all over the place and causing a ruckus. Even with my super upgraded sword that fires double shots I'm finding it hard to hit the things.

Oh fantastic, we're in the sewers. Everyone loves sewer levels! This boss is a massive pain in the ass. It keeps firing off these rocks, which I can't seem to dodge. And when it's bored of that it starts just killing me when I'm touching the floor. After I wasted some time slashing at him, I decided to give up.


Time to move onto a new game I think. Something different.