EXTREME PERSPECTIVE!
Whatever, I don't care, skip intro. Wait is that a giant skullputer covered in cables or something? (I never watched the series).
Well why don't YOU care then, because I don't.
Also, this music is terrible.
Okay, level 1. Hey, this seems fairly well pixelled. Reminds me of
Flashback a bit, which is a good sign. The main guy animates smoothly, it all scrolls pretty slick. Time to hold down the fire button and run to the right.
Oh damn, I guess those bars on the top left are for health and AMMO.
Holy shit this guy can jump. He's like
Sonic the Phantom. Shame you can't bounce on enemies, that would be nice. Enemies seem to explode pretty quickly though, and drop health and ammo refills. Also, and make sure you're sitting down for this one... THEY DON'T HURT YOU WHEN YOU WALK INTO THEM! They have to actually shoot you! This actually seems okay so far.
What? C'mon I jumped up like 4 of these to get up here, I KNOW I made that jump.
You're just taking the piss now.
2 HOURS LATER
Okay I'm up, just in time for the world's most awesome boss fight*
*sarcasm.
He flies in from the left, I shoot him. He flies in from the right, I shoot him. He drops off some dudes, I shoot them. He flies in from the left...
DAYS PASS.
Oh I thought we were heading TO the University. I'm sure the map said 'University' on it... I guess that's what the fire was about at the start. Either way TOTALLY not my fault, okay?
Okay level 2.
Wait a minute... this doesn't just LOOK like level 1, it IS level 1. It's the same level, I don't get it. Did I press a wrong button?
I fought all my run and gun genre instincts and decided to walk LEFT from the start, and found this area! Seems I need a keycard or something to get past. Hmm.
Oh shit, I have an inventory! Doesn't look like I have what I need to get through though. You know, I'm starting to think this might be more of a Metroidvania game than a straight run and gun. Well either way I'm stuck now, I have no idea where to go.
I wonder what that curly line thing is in my inventory.
OMG! A grappling line, I can hang from ceilings! And swiiiiiiiing.
ZOMG! I can grapple to walls, and use them to climb up anywhere! This would be awesome if I had anywhere to go. Game design tip: GRAPPLING IS AWESOME.
Sometimes.
Uh, next game then.
The Phantom lives in an African jungle. He rides a horse, owns a skull fortress, and instead of shooting people prefers to punch them in the face while wearing a skull ring - his predecessors have been doing it for centuries, so having a skull imprint on your jaw gets you run out of the region.
ReplyDeleteWHY IS HE TARZANING AROUND A METROPOLIS.
Okay, I had a look at the cartoon. The jungles are gone, nature as a whole isn't doing so hot, and the Phantom lurks in a mass of mutated plant life under the city. That's pretty cool. It's a bit of a pity we just got a game about blasting robots, but then, Captain Planet already cornered the market in annoying environmentalism.