TaleSpin (Genesis/Mega Drive)

I've always loved that plane. The Sea Duck is the Millennium Falcon of cartoon planes.

Some weird colouring on Baloo's shirt there. It seems we start out in a jungle level, which is totally different from a forest level. Your weapon is one of those ping-pong bats with elastic attached to the ball, which is at least original. I imagine the other character you can choose would have a different weapon, like maybe an AK or Desert Eagle.

Man, two seconds in and already I've fallen into instakill quicksand. Waaaaaait, this isn't instakill at all, I can just jump out! I didn't even take health damage.

I wasn't fast enough to react to the collapsing bridge, so down I go into a bottomless pit. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait, this isn't a bottomless pit at all, there's water down here and I can swim around just fine as long as I occasionally come up for air.

Oh damn. A cargo box. It seems that I was meant to fall down here. I have to collect ten of these things to complete the level you see. So I guess we go explore every inch of the level then... yay.

Like with Smurfs there's lots of places were you're supposed to just walk into scenery and hope it's a hidden passage. A better game would have made the wall go invisible when you got close perhaps, so you could at least see your character when you're walking around.

Another series of jumps over a bottomless pit. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait, there's more water down here and it just carries you over to the left a bit. Man I'm beginning to think that there's no cruel instant death traps at all in this level!

Boss fight time! He fired stuff at me with his magnet, so I hit him with a ping-pong ball. Weirdly no one came to arrest us.

Level two is just as boring as the first one. Walk around looking for boxes, kill the occasional enemy, walk into walls trying to find the next hidden path.

It's just generally a really boring game. And boring games have no place in my world.