Quake out of the warm fuzzy embrace of rose-tinted nostalgia, now it's Duke Nukem's turn to face the harsh light of reality.
Interestingly, the first thing I have to shoot in the game are these exploding barrels, and not an enemy. Well, I could have shot the fan instead, or kicked it in, or kicked the barrels if I wanted to burn my face off, but either way I can only get off this roof when I've learned that I can break through parts of the level.
It's okay, there was a enemy over there! I'm saving humanity here.
These guys may be dumb, but they're better equipped than the average generic fps grunt though. They have jetpacks and can teleport out of danger.
Plus there's a vent, so I can take a shortcut to the projection room.
Now I'm on the other side of the wall, and I've got the keycard, so I thought I might as well detonate the barrels to make a handy shortcut.
Man, look at all those possible weapons I can collect and carry at once. Pistol, shotgun, chaingun, rpg, pipe bombs, shrink ray, freeze ray, devastator, laser trip mines... plus a pair of boots. I love having options.
It's okay, it was empty! It was scheduled for demolition already, I just sped up the process.
Okay it turns out that I actually had no reason to visit the strip club, but the aliens knew that Duke couldn't resist going anyway and planned a cunning trap for him. I used the jetpack to escape the cunning trap, but it still faded to black. I woke up on the next level to find myself in prison in the middle of being executed via the electric chair. Worse they'd taken all my weapons off me!
Fortunately they forgot to strap me to the chair, because they are very very stupid.
Well I got out of the prison building, only to find that the main prison gates were locked. But after wandering around outside for a bit I found a key to a security door just sitting here outside. There's no reason for it being here, it just is.
But maybe this one will be the one that leads to freedom.
Shame they forgot the restraints. Idiots.
But fortunately I have made a useful discovery. After a few messy attempts to get miniaturised Duke through a tiny vent before he regained normal size, I figured out that all this time I'd been playing with auto-run OFF. Duke's walking speed is so fast I just assumed he was running, but now I'm really running through the levels.
But enough of that, back to the sewer pipe then.
Turns out that I was supposed to look out at a certain point to trigger an earthquake to proceed. Proceed to more bloody rocky maze-like passages that is.
Then kill the boss.
Is Duke Nukem 3D as good as I remember? To be honest, I love the game as much now as I ever did. I found the last level of the first episode to be a pain in the ass, but I can live with one annoying level out of six. It still looks reasonably pretty, the music is great, the sound effects are good, combat is fun, and there's generally multiple ways to progress through a level. It's packed with ideas and charm, and it remains one of my favourite games.