Waterworld (SNES)

So, they're gonna put the background in later then?

I don't know who this guy is, but he must REALLY love this game.

Interesting, it seems that the game is a shooter. It's giving me a Desert Strike vibe for some reason, maybe because of the cool explosions.

I drove my boat around shooting these annoying little boats until they were all dead, then got this message telling me to go to the exit buoy.

Those really aren't bad graphics at all, weirdly. Also the music is pretty good, and sounds nothing like the movie soundtrack. The weak link here is the gameplay, it's all very playable but it's also very simple and boring. Drive around, shoot enemies, repeat until the enemies are all gone. Or try to shoot the slippery little bastards anyway.

Wow, that looks pretty bad. This seems to work like a bonus stage, you swim around grabbing treasures like cups and glasses and little bags marked 'soil', while trying to avoid fish.

You see, fish are very territorial creatures. They stick to a small area of the sea and patrol their territory back and forth tirelessly, attacking any interloper. But only if you accidentally swim into them.

That red bar is actually 'energy', not air and it's ticking away. This guy has gills, he should be able to stay underwater even longer than that woman in that game who could hold her breath longer than Guybrush Threepwood, but sadly that would make this boring level even more boring.

After another round of boat shooting I dock at this floating town for trade and repairs. And possibly another game level.

Now it's a platformer! The graphics don't look so good, but they do their job. There's no confusion about what I can and can't jump on and enemies aren't hard to spot.

And hey I can even use ladders in this one, I can even grab onto them in mid-air. I can be hurt on ladders though, so I've got to use them carefully.

It seems a bit unfair how they all get guns and I only start with a knife.

Oh wow, you can pick up their weapons. They've got limited ammo, but every dead enemy is a refill so it's not a big issue.

This is all very standard run and gun platformer action, but it works. It's rough looking but it's more entertaining than the boat shooting at least. Shame I can't roll though. Or grab onto ledges.

A cartoony 3d rendered shopkeeper in a game full of digitized stills from the movie? Or maybe that's just a mask or something on the wall, I can't tell. Who cares anyway, they're selling a Gatling gun and I can afford four of them.

Well, three of them. I need to hold on to some cash to fix the boat.

Seeing as you suffered this far with me, I think you deserve this.

Back on the map again. Destination: More boat shooting.

Man, I can't believe I'm putting up with boring gameplay in a Waterworld game because it's pretty. It'd be more bearable if these little bastards were easier to hit, and the big bastards took less shots to kill.

Ugh. More diving. Joy.

They should have spent the resources they wasted on these segments on making the boat shooting more entertaining, and the platforming look better.

Onto the next level and wow, they're doing that thing from the movie! Little speedboats jumping into the town from a rampboat while a plane strafes me. It's all going on.

Stop jumping into town you little bastards, I need that town to go do another platformer level in, and... oh I am so bored with this.


Next game.