The Untouchables (SNES)

Another game based on a movie. Brilliant.

Hang on, this isn't actually based on the movie, it's a game of the TV series.

It's a shooting gallery style game, but you have to walk your character around with the shoulder buttons as well as control the crosshair with the d-pad.

You get a shotgun with two shells, and I'm finding it really awkward to even get one of those shots on target while I'm diving around trying not to be killed. Then I have to get to cover, reload, and try again.

Oh great, and I've got a time limit. Screw this game.

Actually no, I'm going to get this level done.

One explosion and I'm dead. Screw this game.

Crap, it's got a level select. Fine, I'll check out level two then.

Now it's a platformer! I'm definitely doing a lot better at this.

Extra time, yes! I'm going to need this. I have 23 seconds left before game over and I've barely started the level.

Ugh, what? The art on these boxes is confusing me. It seems like I should be able to walk along the top of the dark bit, but it's just background. Well I guess I ain't jumping over those boxes then.


LATER.

Excellent. Lets pose for a minute in celebration. Hey it's John Rhys-Davies, second from the right.

Aww crap, a boss battle? Already?

I'm pretty sure I could take this guy with enough tries but it takes forever to chip away at his health and I'm getting sick of it. Shooting the barrels made them flash, so I thought I could maybe blow the guy up, but no luck. Game over.

Back to the level select then.

More shooting! This is far easier than the first level though. I've got plenty of time, I can shoot from the cover of this barrel, and I have a machine gun.


LATER.

This is boring the hell out of me. I keep moving to the right after clearing the screen of enemies, but every damn screen looks the same. I ended up dying in the end and ended up reappearing on the same screen. Or maybe I reappeared at the start again, I couldn't tell and didn't care.

Next level.

Now it's an overhead run and gun, well walk and gun. The guy moves around so slowly. Oh wait, there's a run button.

It seems I've got five minutes to race around this floor rescuing hostages. I guess they're in all the rooms marked red, so I need to move fast.

What the hell just happened? I run through the door and I instantly die. I'm evaporated in fact, leaving only a hat. I don't even know what hit me, I can barely see into the room.

Okay fine, new tactic, lets go to a different room.

I race in guns blazing this time. And instantly die.

One more level on the level select screen, but thankfully it's ghosted out! I don't have to play it. I'm finally free from this crappy game.


Onto the next game then.