The Flintstones - The Treasure of Sierra Madrock (SNES)

I know I should know better than to judge a game by its title screen at this point, but this isn't filling me with enthusiasm.

I guess Fred and Barney are members of some sort of secret society or whatever then. Whoever wins the game gets to be Poobah I guess, so off they go.

Wow, this is a really unusual level map. Fred and Barney take turns rolling dice to see how many steps they can take. When they complete a level (or die trying), you play as the other one. But you don't have to replay a level one character has already won, and the characters can go in different directions on the map.

Realising he's basically started off in forest level again, Fred hides his head out of shame. C'mon Fred, it's not so bad, this is practically the suburbs for you! And there's no trees around you at this exact moment, so it's more like... grass plains with trees on it than a full blown forest.

You've got to keep jumping up the falling logs at this bit, making each jump quickly and precisely as one mistake will lead to your death via bottomless pit. I wish I could complain about it, but it plays fair. The controls are very slick and responsive and you can even hang in the air for a second by sheer force of will, Yoshi style.

This damn shark kept knocking holes in the ground, dropping me in the water.

Birds... gaming's most annoying enemy. Whether they're Castlevania's Medusa heads, Morrowind's Cliff Racers, Lakitu dropping spiky turtles on your head, or that damn one that shows up to pick you up and drop you somewhere you don't want to be, flying enemies are assholes.

What the hell, game? Wilma shows up so Fred has to go back to the starting space?

Mechanically this is a pretty slick game, visually it's well presented... but it's boring the hell out of me, so NEXT GAME.