Another guest post, this time by
mecha-neko.
Hello! I'm mecha-neko. I've been drafted in to play some games for Ray because playing all these games has made him very sad.
It's time for David Wolf: Secret Agent by Dynamix (1989) for MS-DOS. Let's go.
It's a mysterious ring! (Which looks like it was drawn on after the picture was digitised...) Who could this belong to?
It's the malevolent VASTO! Or is that Kane? When he's not leading The Brotherhood of Nod, he still likes to form evil plots it seems. I mean, I assume that's what he's doing. He could be a nice guy really.
Regardless, it's clear that he definitely does not want David Wolf to interfere with whatever it is he's up to. Wolf is testing out some top of the range secret spy equipment near the Cliffs of Dover, so Vasto sends in the goons... PERMANENTLY!
Seems that this game fancies itself as an interactive movie. That's ambitious for 1989. Lookit these nice digitised faces, too. Pretty good for 16 colours. The (PC Speaker) music playing over the top of all this? Not quite as good.
Here's the man himself. The cocky bastard thinks testing out new equipment is beneath him. The doctor corrects him. 'With radar, altimeter and a 9mm machine gun, she's the most deadly and manoeuvrable infiltration vehicle ever invented'. That does sound rather cool for just a hang-glider, I guess, but I'm bored of all this talking.
You and me both, Dave. It's time for action!
Vasto's goons have finally tracked down our dashing protagonist. They're sending in speedboats and hang-gliders. Watch out, Dave!
The camera swoops round to show the chase in sumptuous 3D Graphics! That's three whole dimensions!
The JOYSTICK CONTROL icon appears when it's time for the player to jump into the action. Let's do this!
Argh! I'm being fired upon! Argh! I can't control this thing!
I try shooting those machineguns I've heard so much about, but the enemies skilfully evade me. I can't seem to change my pitch, no matter what I do. I'm headed for the water! Maybe I should've paid attention during the briefing! Noooooo!
Boor is clearly a man who loves his work. The goons run over the downed Wolf and leave him for dead.
Meanwhile, at Viper Headquarters...
Boor makes his report to Vasto. With Wolf dead, there's nobody who can stop Vasto's schemes. NO-ONE.
Meanwhile, at Peregrine Headquarters...
It seems that Wolf isn't dead after all! Hooray! According to the doctor, Wolf wasn't hurt at all by being shot at, thrown face first into water and then being ran over by a boat. What a professional!
A very lengthy briefing follows. All throughout the briefing, David Wolf's theme song is playing. It sounds like... DOOP DOOP DOOP DIDDLY DOOPDOOPDOOP DOOP DOOP DOOP. Over and over again.
Apparently an undetectable stealth jet has been stolen by a mole within the Peregrine organisation, and they've kidnapped the beautiful researcher who created it, Doctor Kelly O'Neal.
Wolf is immediately smitten at the thought of rescuing a damsel in distress and can't help but constantly crack wise, but his boss rightly puts him in his place.
Wolf is on the move, and we're treated to another full 3D sequence. This sequence is an homage to one of any number of 'James Bond arrives at the airport and is a classy bastard' sequences. It doesn't quite work for poor Wolf as everything in his game looks like it's made of Lego.
Plus his car looks like it's seen better days. Look at all that rust!
Boor sends in the goons once again. Looks like it's time for some JOYSTICK CONTROL.
The goons are hot on David's tail, but he's got some tricks up his sleeve: Oil Slick, Machine Guns and Heat-Seeking Missiles! I can see the goons approaching in the rear view mirror; a well-timed Oil Slick on a tight curve makes short work of them. They're sent spinning off the road and explode. HA.
I've made it through the first checkpoint! Boor's not pleased, it's time for Round Two. JOYSTICK CONTROL.
I use my remaining Oil Slicks on the pursuers. More cars approach from the front. They get a Missile for their trouble. KABOOM.
Unfortunately, my limited ammunition is soon exhausted and all I can do is try to outrun my pursuers.
It's no use. My car spins out of control, rolls on its side and explodes. David Wolf is down. He'd have to be some kind of Secret Agent to be able to get out of that one alive.
Nope. He's dead.
I hope Boor had the sense to check for a body this time.
With Agent Wolf confirmed dead, the villains meet to discuss final preparations for the nuclear strike. Boor can barely contain himself.
The boss is understandably less ecstatic. Looks like Wolf was America's last hope after all.
The stolen stealth bomber flies over the White House completely unopposed and drops a nuclear weapon. Viper's reign over the United States has begun. A giant picture of a laughing Vasto is superimposed over a nuclear explosion. The end.
Although I couldn't control it that well, I did enjoy the car chase sequence. You can skip the cutscenes if you want and you can also directly skip to any action sequence from the menu. There's a difficulty slider too, but I left it on Medium.
This is not the worst game of 1989 by far, as long as you remember to turn your speakers down first.
Next game!
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