Zelda II: The Adventure of Link (NES)

Finally, a Zelda game where I get to play as Link for a change.

Side view! That's a pretty big change from Legend of Zelda's overhead perspective. The Zelda music is back though.

Okay I'm in a place that looks like a temple, I've got a green... rod in my hand, and there's a woman asleep in the background. So far this is very Shadow of the Colossus.

And... now what? What do I do? There doesn't seem to be any way to wake the woman up (who I'm guessing is Zelda herself), so I'll assume that's my quest. There's no one else around to give me any hints or instructions, so I guess I'll just see myself out then.

Whoa, a Final Fantasy style overworld! To be honest I'd heard the game was a platformer but I wasn't expecting this.

It seems I'm safe to wander along the path all I want without being harassed by random encounters, so I'll go see where it leads.

Oh. It leads to a fork in the road. I'll head west, because why not?

Yeah, I knew I was going the right way the whole time.

It's like I'm back playing Castlevania II or Battle for Olympus again. A town full of NPCs, each giving me a line about stuff I can find or do, but everything they tell me is so vague as to be next to useless.

So I can find magic in a cave south of the castle then? Well that's awesome. Any advice on how to wake up sleeping princesses? Nope? Fair enough then.

Oh. So to get the magic, I first need the candle. I don't suppose anyone around here has a candle?

I guess I should probably search the buildings.

But of course you are.

I don't suppose you've got a candle I could borrow? I guess not. He just keeps repeating "I am Error" like a depressed robot.

Fuck it, I don't need their bloody candle! I'm going to go south, and I'm going to find this cave, and I'm going to go through it in pitch black darkness.


LATER.

Crap, it's too dark in here! I can't see the enemies, but they can see me!

Fuck this, I'm going off to find a candle.


LATER.

Oh shit, I took one step off the path and these guys suddenly appeared. Uh, maybe I can outrun them.

Getting caught by an enemy brought me to this platformer level. I had a short range projectile attack when I still had my health maxed, but this guy hit me before I could hit him with it.

So now all I've got left to do is run up and hit him with my sword until one of us explodes. Fortunately Link controls quite well, and can steer himself while airborne (unlike poor Simon Belmont in the Castlevania games), so I have a shot at avoiding a couple of these spears.

Killing the guy got me 10! I suppose that's 10 experience points, which is another big change from Zelda 1.

I got out of the platformer level by running off the edge of the screen, and finally made it to the end of the other path. I really hope there's a candle in this town or else I have no idea what I'm doing.

Well there's no candle here, but this kid seems to think I can find the candle in parapa (the rapper) palace.

Well I've been west as far I can go, and there's nothing there but a cave and a town. I suppose I could try going off path through the forest to the east though. East's kind of like west.

I found another cave full of enemies hiding in the dark. Well actually I only ran into one enemy (literally), and kept cutting at the darkness until he died and gave me some xp.

Another temple type place! Who knows what treasures I'll find within.

I'm hoping for a massive sword, body armour and some 'wake up princess' magic.

This looks encouraging. I was kinda worried that all I'd find here was an NPC standing around to tell me that I need to go north and find a pencil or whatever.

But now I'm at another branching path. I'll go right this time.

Huh? I just bounced across a roomful of these knife maniacs and all I get is a locked door? I guess I should have taken that left turn at the lift.

These skeletons don't seem like much trouble to fight, which is a nice change. Plus this guy dropped a ton of xp when he died, which should put me just about at 50... HEY!

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ALL MY EXPERIENCE POINTS?

Did those knife maniacs drain my experience points when they hit me? I can't think of a single other game I've played which takes your experience points away during gameplay like this. That's pretty damn annoying.

Well at least I have the key now and I can go see what's on the other side of that door.

I got stabbed.

Seeing as I basically achieved nothing, I decided to restart and give it another go. This time I'm going to sit on this enemy encounter stage and beat up these crap respawning enemies until I get my bloody level up.

They drop 2 xp each, and I need 50, so this might take a while.


TWENTY FIVE KILLS LATER.

Awesome, I get to choose between... life up or nothing. I don't have the xp to get anything else. It seems that if I choose to cancel, then I keep my accumulated experience and can use it next time to get a higher value reward.

Life up sounds good to me though, so I'll go with that.


LATER.

Right, I'm back at the temple, and I've found another branching path. I went back to get the key, but it seems that I already had it. I guess anything I've picked up is mine forever, even if I get a game over.

Plus the game has proper saves, no passwords.

Alright, I'm pretty sure I hate these bouncing things. Hitting them only seems to slow them down, which seems entirely useless to me. I'm just going to run through this room and take the damage, because I can't dodge these things.

I made it out with the tiniest possible amount of health, and OH SHIT THE FLOOR!

Run Link, run!

Well I'm screwed.


ONE LIFE AND MOST OF A HEALTH BAR LATER.

...

I don't even know why I'm surprised.

Okay, I'll go backtrack all the way back to that lift, and hope that the bridge over the lava pit has mysteriously reappeared.


LATER.
 

...

I gotta admit, the game got me again. This is Link's final life and I'm really starting to doubt that I've got enough health left to find this this damn key and make it back to the door.


LATER.

Listen mate, any other time you'd surely kick my ass. But there's no damn way you're stopping me from getting over to that key after all the trouble I went through to find it.


EVEN LATER.

Well I got the key! And then I got killed and had to restart the game and make it all the way back here again. Then I lost all my lives and somehow ended up with the exact same health remaining as I had in the previous screenshot.

This guy is the last thing stopping me from opening that door. He has a shield and he moves it up and down to deflect my sword attacks, but that also leaves him with a place he's not defending. All I have to do is hit him where his shield ain't, and avoid getting hit too much while doing it.

I found the candle! At last I have the bloody candle! Rejoice!

Link looks so happy... anyway I took two steps outside and was slaughtered by one of those lame blob enemies, and had to restart. But the candle is still mine, so I can finally go... to the southern cave!


ONE RESTART AND A SHORT WALK LATER.

The cave's full of bats! My greatest weakness.

I honestly tried my best to kill or evade them, but they destroyed me in seconds. Bloody flying enemies.


Sorry but that's all the patience I have in me, I can't go on. I tried to give Zelda II a fair shot, but the game just hates me! It seems considerably more difficult than Legend of Zelda was at the start. Enemies are often really tough bastards to kill, and every time I think I'm getting somewhere someone comes along and steals my xp, or I'm killed and thrown back to the beginning.

Next game.