Evolution: Eternal Dungeons (NGPC)

Evolution... I think I've seen one of these on the Dreamcast, though I don't remember anything about it but lots of talking and running between houses. I expect there's probably dungeons in it too.

Wow, this is the first screen of the game. No intro, no dialogue, no context... works for me! There'll be time for that later.

I started by trying to move both my characters up to the enemy, but it seems that I can only stand them on the 3x3 grid at the bottom half of the screen. Plus I can either move or attack in a turn, not both, so by moving I just gave the enemy two free hits. I'll try just hitting them until they die instead then.

That group of monsters was such a pushover that he apparently didn't even realise he was fighting more than one of them.

Hmm, I wonder if that headband can pick up radio.

... what?

But then, suddenly a rival treasure hunter jumps in and grabs the treasure we've been searching this dungeon for. Then she mocks us for being crap.

Does this character talk in morse code or something? All she's said for the entire cutscene has been dots.

Back home the hero has to explain to his butler that not only has he totally failed to find anything of value in his dungeon crawl, but the expedition has also put him in debt. He's going to have to go work for an archaeological society to make back the cash.

Quiet you.

Damn, that's a lot of options. I'll go to Society first I reckon and get a job.

We're going to ascend a tower called 'Descent'? How could I resist such absurdly ironic task!

Huh, there's no way out! There's not even a front door, we're completely trapped.

This is the game proper then? Exploring dungeons, opening boxes and then climbing stairs to the next floor to do it all again. The monsters only take a step when I do, and they don't seem to even acknowledge my presence. I can run, but then the monsters run too.

Seems like a pretty standard menu. Well except for the guy holding the sign, that's... not normal. Just out of curiosity I tried to save and it actually worked, no save points required. Though I'm not quite curious enough to see if it loads my exact position.


A FEW BATTLES LATER.

Damn, I'm getting the crap kicked out of me in these fights. There's a 'skill' option in the menu, but it only seems to let me upgrade my magic, not use any of it. So I'm going to have to use up my health potions to heal.

Immediately after I figured out I had a map, I walked on a tile which triggered a random event... and totally cleared my map.

I'm totally out of MP mana FP for my healer now, so all I can do is get the hell out of battles before I'm slaughtered. But the retreat command isn't working. I tried moving my team back a few tiles to see if that helped, but the enemy just pulled me back in.

Well at least it wasn't game over. I'm back at the Society, and it seems still have all my stuff! Though I also have more debt to pay now.

This town music is driving me crazy. Okay, my new plan is simple, yet ingenious. I'm going to spend all my cash on health potions.

Plus I should upgrade my healing magic too now that I think about it. Now it's time to fly back to tower and try again. From the bottom floor.



SEVERAL FLOORS LATER.

Excellent! It seems that I'm not so trapped as I believed. I guess there's probably one of these exits every few floors.

I absolutely want to return to town, I have an inventory full of trash to sell off and health potions to buy.

What? What is it? Is it the irritating town music that's bothering you? Or the way I have to skip through a whole conversation each and every single time I come here to buy anything?


SEVERAL FLOORS LATER.

Oh what? It's bad enough that I had to restart on the bottom floor of the tower again when I came back, but now my inventory is full? Well I would go back to the shop and sell it, but then I'd have to start at the beginning of the tower again... and by the time I make it back up here I'll have an inventory full of crap again.

I'll have to throw some items away so I can keep collecting health potions.

Fine, I get the hint. I should stop hoarding my stuff and start wasting it. Have a thunderbolt item attack, trivial encounter! Better than just throwing it away.

Though to be honest I've been up this tower so many times now that these battles are nothing to my team. I can just press attack each turn and win.


EVEN MORE FLOORS LATER.

A change of scenery! Awesome, I must be getting close to the end now. Surely.

Unless these dungeons really ARE eternal. I wouldn't put it past them actually, they seem to be randomly generated and I'm only here to grab treasure, not actually reach an end.


EVEN MORE FLOORS LATER.

Boss fight, finally! I've never been so happy to be in a boss battle. Well I've got a ton of FP so I might as well fire off every single special attack I have.

Oh crap, he's going all disco on us.

Status: boss defeated, "scarf" received. I really hope we got more out of it than that. Sure it's probably a really nice scarf, but neckwear don't pay the bills.

WHAT? You mean I was getting my ass kicked at the start because I didn't have a full party? Well perhaps she's referring to a new character I can only collect after the first dungeon. I don't know, this is where I stopped playing.


I have to say that the game lives up to its title, the dungeons do seem to go on forever. It actually seems like it could be a fairly decent game, but I've got zero interest in playing it any further. Next game.