Hey is that the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland on the back left? With... his shirt hanging half-open?
I can't believe that this is the same artist that did the title screen.
Wow, he's just going to leave that fire on all night? If this intro ends with the place burning to the ground he's only got himself to blame. And maybe also Trolls, I dunno.
Damn, I've ran out of credits to watch. I guess now I have to actually play it.
I'll start with the 'TOYS' door, seeing as it's the first one. Plus I'm a toy in a toyshop so it seems sensible enough.
I'm in Toyland, and it definitely lives up to its name. The enemies are toys, the pick ups are toys, the background is toys... even the hero is a toy. No annoying music though weirdly.
Right, It seems to be a pretty standard platformer. I can jump on enemies' heads to kill them, but it takes a few bounces and sometimes I take damage while doing it. So it seems best just to leave them alone to do whatever it is they're doing.
Balloons (like that one on the top right) throw items into the air when I pop them, usually extra points. Though I have to sit there and wait for the thing to come back down before I can grab it, so it's a pain. Seems best just to leave them alone too.
In fact it's pretty hard to see anything in this game. Everything's equally bright, and just as vivid. There's no effort made at all to make the sprites stand out from the background.
HEY, there's another troll baby! Only 16 left to find now.
|Oscar (Amiga CD32)|
In fact they actually remade the two games for the Nintendo DSi, as Oscar in Toyland and Oscar in Movieland. I have no fucking clue why.
Oscar, but it seems pretty easy to collect in this.
Oh crap, I let go and now I can't get him to grapple back on. The controls are a bit awkward. I press up on the joystick to jump and then have to hold the fire button and press a direction to throw the yo-yo out.
Plus I have to either being jumping or standing absolutely still to use it, and enemies still take around three hits to kill with it. Actually, forget the bloody yo-yo, it's a pain in the ass and I can get by without it.
LATER, ON THE NEXT STAGE.
Fortunately I keep all the troll babies I've saved after losing a life or after using a continue. In fact there seems to be absolutely no difference between the two, they might as well have not bothered putting continues in at all and just tripled my 1up count instead.
I've collected 25 troll babies so far, that's got to be enough right? Annoyingly the counter goes up, not down, so if you weren't paying attention to the pre-level info screen you'd have no clue how many trolls you needed to get before heading for the exit.
Oh, I just noticed I missed one of the troll babies there on the right. It seems I don't need to save them all to leave the level. Which is excellent on a gameplay level, but not so good on a child care level. Sorry kid, but you're on your own now! Try to stay away from the evil jack-in-the-boxes, one touch might kill you.
I'm starting to wonder why there's such a precise yet arbitrary number of troll babies I need to rescue on each level. Am I paying this pig in troll babies or something?
Unfortunately all the enemies are in black and white too so they're still hard to see.
And then I ran out of credits and got kicked back to the title screen.
But I don't need to put up with that, I've got a level select! So I'm going to quickly check out the other levels.
Oh fuck, there's an OXYGEN METER on the left side of the screen, how did I not notice that before? Uh, what do I do now? These bubbles don't seem to be refilling it at all... well, fuck. And the Troll downs.
On my next level I figured out that the extra oxygen is hidden in balloons... occasionally. Gotta open them all up to find it though, because the one I miss might just be the one I need to breathe.
I jumped around for a bit collecting balloons here until it kicked me out and called me a failure. No bonus for me.
Huh, it won't let me jump here. Well I suppose there's enough of an overhang there to get in the way. Even though the Troll is clearly in front of the tent when he jumps.
How am I supposed to know where I can go and what I can jump on when they change the rules on me like this?
I have to admit I like that guy giving the thumbs up over there. It's nice to see an enemy with some personality. I've no idea what he's got to do with candy though, unless he's taking his polo mint for a walk.
Hmm, Candyland, Sodapop land, Fairground land, Fableland, Boardgame land, Toyland... I think I'm spotting the connection here. But how does Medialand fit in? It'd make sense if it was 'Kid's TV land' or something, but black and white newspapers and blank cassettes don't seem like something that'd generally appeal to children.
Those red platforms on the bottom right are cool because I stepped on one and it immediately collapsed and dropped me into a bottomless pit. Wait, that's not cool, that's actually really annoying.
I guess the balloons are there to mark the safe ones to jump on.
I think I've seen everything this game has to offer now anyway, so I'm turning it off.
The game is one huge giant scavenger hunt and apart from the water level it all plays the same. There's no bosses or new game mechanics introduced at any point. The enemies are dangerous because you can't see them and they take way too long to kill, the levels are challenging because they're sprawling mazes with unmarked instant death pits.
And the worst thing is... it's actually fairly well made and slick. I'd say if these people were given another try they could have actually made a good platformer. But instead they made Oscar.