Cheese Cat-astrophe starring Speedy Gonzales (Master System)

It looks like it's mostly a cat-astrophe for poor Sylvester the Cat, who seems to become a victim of hit and run cheese theft.

But then in the intro it shows Sylvester kidnapping Speedy's girlfriend, and there's no mention of cheese. This seems like a straightforward rescue mission.

Oh shit, what is that? An evil purple crab? A jumping spider? Whatever it is it's after me and I don't like it.

I do like the animation though. The game is surprisingly slick for a Master System game, and Speedy himself is very well drawn.

Cheese Cat-astrophe starring Speedy Gonzales (Genesis/Mega Drive)

You'd expect the Game Gear version to be identical, and it is. But the Mega Drive/Genesis version has different levels and more enemies around. And lots of Acme boxes and chilli peppers for whatever reason. It's pretty much a different game, though the gameplay is very similar.

The creepy spider thing teamed up with a scorpion and ambushed me. I didn't stand a chance! I do have hit points in this, but not many, so I'll just have to be more careful in future.

I wonder what game introduced the tradition of platformer characters being knocked off screen when they're killed. It was weird enough back in Super Mario Bros, where Mario would get sucked into the ground, but we're looking down on the sand in this, so Speedy's lifeless corpse is actually skidding off across the desert somewhere.

Aha! I can throw hats. Lots of hats.

I can just creep up on these things ones at a time and hat them to death from a distance. It's not very fast, but it's better for my health.

Oh shit... I ran out of hats.

Uh, new plan: run away!

I fell down the hole, and there's a whole cave system down here. Also, I've found out that I can jump on enemies, so I feel kind of stupid for not trying that earlier.

In my defence, platformers tend to have jumping on enemies or shooting them with stuff, and not both. I thought it was hats only for this one.

More hats, and a key. Interesting.

I collected the key and was teleported here. Hey, it's one of my little mouse buddies, all tied up!

Wait, don't tell me that Speedy has to rescue everyone else he knows too. We already did this once in Los Gatos Bandidos on the SNES. Why can't this guy rescue the other mice, I've got a mouse to rescue already.

Well at least there was only one mouse to rescue on this level. Onto level 2 then.

Damn! There was a surprise snake hidden in the hole, waiting to jump out at me as I walked past. Well okay, lesson learned. From now on I stay clear of holes.

There aren't even any enemies around. Just holes.

Maybe that large hole down there is a door leading to extra lives. Or maybe it's just got a bigger snake hiding in it. I've only got half a heart's worth of health left, I can't afford to take the risk.

Meteorites now? There's barely any time to avoid them too. It's probably not a smart idea for me to hang around up here long. I was safer with the spiders.

HOLY SHIT! That flower just changed into a monster and killed me! What the hell is wrong with this place?

I'm starting to think Sylvester wasn't kidnapping Speedy's girlfriend, he was relocating her for her own safety. The other mice I've found must have been driven half mad by the ancient evil infesting this land and had to be restrained to stop them injuring themselves and others.


LATER.

I'm thrown back to the start of the level each time I get Speedy killed, but it wasn't too awkward to get back now that I know to avoid... well, everything. I still got hit by a couple of meteorites though but I can grab that cheese piece and get some health back.


LATER.

The cheese was a trap! I jumped after it and fell straight into a bottomless pit. Another life lost.

But that's fine, that's okay, I have a few lives left and they didn't even bother to hide the key in a cave this time so now it's just a short walk to level three.

I'm being chased by a vulture! This is not a good start.

I made it into the caves and now spiders are falling down everywhere from off screen. This is also not good. None of this is good.

Damn, even my escape holes in the floor aren't safe any more? I walked close to one and a snake jumped out and hit me.

Yeah, Mario did the same thing with fire breathing piranha plants springing up out of the pipes, but Nintendo had the sense to only have them pop up when you're away from the pipe.

Right, I've found the key for this level. So this is the last drop-spider I'll have to worry about for a while.

Uh, what? This is the end of the level. Was I supposed to find two keys this time or something?

There's nothing left for me to do but backtrack through the level again.

Damn! The vultures are working with the snakes. The food chain in this desert is messed up. Mice eat the cheese, and every single other living thing eats the mice. Including the flowers.

Wow, no continues. It just throws me back to the title screen.

I'm tempted to just quit now, and I really should. But first I just gotta know what I did wrong on that level.


THREE LEVELS LATER, FROM THE START.

It turns out that the exit to that level was underground. No idea why, it just leads straight into this boss fight against Sylvester himself.

See, I told you these creatures were teaming up against me. I wasn't just imagining it. And this time they've brought dynamite.

I keep throwing the dynamite back up at him, but I don't seem to be winning the fight. I managed to make him flinch once or twice, but it's difficult to get a hit on him when he always moves to line up above me.

To get a direct hit, I need to race to the dynamite, wait until it's just about to blow, then throw it up into the air and move so he'll follow me and fly right into it. But I can't get the timing right, and half the time I just end up dropping the dynamite on myself.


It's not long until I hit another game over screen, and this time I turn the game off. You know I've probably made this one seem worse than it is. Despite the flaws I did sort of like it, and it is one of the better looking Master System games I've played. But there's no damn way I'm throwing any more dynamite at that cat. Screw him, I'm putting the next game on.