Darkwing Duck (NES)

I know next to nothing about this character, except that he's apparently a spoof on heroes like The Shadow and Batman. There's no way this isn't going to be a platformer though.

I can't figure out if he's supposed to be a joke hero or a competent character.

Man, his hat just can't make up it's mind what colour to be.

I'm glad you reminded me, because I probably would have just walked by all those diamonds and gold bars otherwise.

Apparently a mysterious crime wave has swept across the city, probably run by a secret criminal organisation called 'F.O.W.L', and we're the only ones who can stop it. Well either us, or the police, but they're asking us first.

 A stage select screen, excellent. I guess I'll start, hmm... with the first one.

I'm starting to think he's one of those inept heroes.

Eat bullets, perpetrator!

Uh, eat more bullets? Okay this is going to take more shots that I have space for, I'm going to have to move back a little.

Well I got him. Then I walked back to find he was back again. That G battery he dropped when he died is still there, but now he's back patrolling the ledge again.

This is going to get annoying.

Wow, this is totally the worst time for a bat to fly into me.

SHOO! If I fall down here I have to repeat the whole section again.

Huh, this guy is immune to my attacks. He only lets his guard down when he throws a knife, so I guess I just try to get a shot in, then quickly dive out of the way.

Son of a bitch. How many hits do these guys take? I've been shooting him for ages and he's still alive enough to kill my character.


LATER.

Well I'm back. I respawned near the hooks, so I had to make my way back to the guy in green before I could fight him again.

And then after I finally killed him I find out that he's not a miniboss, he's a regular enemy.

Crap. I killed this second green enemy, jumped over to collect the gold bars, then jumped back to find he was back again.

These things are totally killing my interest in the game. They just take way too long to get rid of.

Boss fight! I have to get down and shoot the jester, while avoiding banana peels dropped by the guy at the top.

And it's taking forever, because this guy keeps jumping out of the way.

Plus, to go up a ledge I have to press jump twice, but to go down I have to drop under with jump+down, then let go with down on its own If I tap jump a second time, he jumps back up. I keep screwing it up and ending up on the wrong ledge.

Well, that's good at least. It's nice to get a bit of praise from a game every once in a while.

You're just going to keep doing that then?

Crap, this guy just appeared out of the ground and shot a fireball across the screen.

He's immune to my attacks until he climbs out fully to shoot me, so I have to time it right.

Damn, I saw the tire, and the spikes, and my brain put two and two together... and totally missed the enemy jumping out behind me with the flame thrower.

Back to the start of the level.

And this time I totally missed the tire! Well, not exactly. I did land on it, but then it drove off without me.

Back to the start.

I was doing well until I hit the banana peel. Now I'm stunned for a few seconds. More than enough time for this little bastard to kill me while I'm helpless.

Back to the start of the level again then.



LATER.

Back to the start of the level again then...

Actually screw it, I'm going back to the level select and going somewhere else.

Not the sewers... I don't want to go to the sewers.

Oh great. More of these guys. And for a guy called 'Darkwing Duck', he's pretty crap at ducking under knives.

I really do not care enough to fight these enemies anymore. I'm just going to jump over anything that takes more than two or three shots to kill.

There's no end to them.



LATER.

Well I finally got past them, and now I have to dodge flying enemies in the dark.


My final verdict: fuck this game.