Friday 30 September 2011

The Flash (GB)

You know, I think this is the actual theme to the TV series playing right now. It's no 'Batman theme' but it's all right.

Wow, the Trickster doesn't mess around. He's been out of prison five minutes and he already has the city rigged to blow.

Fortunately the Flash is fast enough to disarm them all in five seconds, as long as he knows where to look.

Wow. Well I guess if you're going to hire someone to guard a time bomb you're not going to be looking for the brightest candidates.

It's okay, I'm in no rush. I'm the Flash, I can race across this entire building in a blink of an eye.

Uh, actually the Flash seems kind of slow. Sure he's almost fast enough to outrun the screen, but that's the fault of crappy screen scrolling.

This is such a Wile E Coyote moment. He should have held up a sign saying 'HELP!' or something before he fell.

It's okay, I've got extra lives. Falling down a hole and dying is no big crisis.

I'm starting to wonder if the Flash ever studied a martial art.

This time I'm taking the top route, so I can avoid the hole and grab the giant dollar sign. Which I assume has some cash value.

Defeated twice by the same hole.

Hey, he can run! Not very fast but it's better than nothing.

Lets see how well these goons do against the power of momentum!

I'm not sure he's even noticed that I'm running into him. Okay, so super speed can't be used as an attack, but maybe he's got some other super powered combat moves I can use.

YEAH! Super kick! No he's over there on the right Flash. No, your OTHER right...

Oh fuck it, I'll just use a regular punch on him. For whatever reason the game designers thought it was essential that Flash has both a punch and a kick button... meaning that I have to press up on the d-pad to jump. It's not really an ideal control system.

A blind jump? Well I haven't got time to waste by backtracking and walking down steps...

Son of a bitch...

This building should be destroyed. It's a danger to anyone who sets foot inside.

Wow, what's wrong with your eyes, man?

All right fine, I'll give him a rematch. Let's see how well he does against a Flash who actually almost knows what he's doing now.

Hey, my dollar disappeared! I wonder if that has anything to do with the hot dog that just sprang out of the snack machine.

I don't exactly need the extra speed energy right now, but I bought it so I might as well eat it.

Hey, I found the Trickster himself! I think.

I don't know anything about this guy, but surely he's supposed to be smart enough not to hang around his own time bomb with 49 seconds on the clock.

Well, he can amuse himself by throwing bombs all he wants, as long as he does it down there then it's nothing I have to worry about.

And the bomb is defused with 28 seconds on the clock!

I bet these henchmen aren't even slightly grateful that I just saved all their lives.

Oh no!

I think the address is also the password for the level, which is quite clever.

Apparently Trickster is teaming up with a guy called Mirror Master, who uses holograms somehow.

Damn, missed!

Aww, I was so close!

Eat my yellow boot, criminal! Actually this is a bloody hologram isn't it?

Well at least now I know what these holograms I'm supposed to be ignoring look like.

Damn, you're stuck down there again? Sorry Trickster, looks like there's nothing stopping me from strolling over and disarming your bomb.

Oh right. TIME bomb.

Well I messed that up, but on the plus side I blew Trickster up too and all of his men, saving the city! I should be getting an alternative ending for this.

But I know what I'm doing now. I need to keep moving forwards, ignore the holograms, take enemies down quickly or jump over them, always take the high path...

...and not lose my last life by leaping into a bottomless chasm.

Next game.

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