Wednesday, 27 July 2011

The Amazing Spider-Man and Captain America in Dr. Doom's Revenge! (MS-DOS)

Another Captain America game! But will this one be any better than the last?

No, no it won't be. I mean just look at it, there's no way this is going to be any good. It came out in 1989, good DOS games probably hadn't been invented yet.

This time I get comic panels to set the scene... plus the scene afterwards by the look of it. Not really much of a surprise any more.

Okay according to my script... before I can start cowering from fireballs, I have to get shot in the back by a robot guarding the entryway.

Getting shot in the back will be easy, I can't figure out how to turn around. It's hard enough just to get him to walk.

Taste my extendible fist of justice, evil doer! Is this even doing anything? I think his health bar's going down a little.


COME ON DIE ALREADY! I've got fireballs to hide from.

Level two looks creepy. I wouldn't have thought Doctor Doom would be into decorating his walls with corpses, but to be honest I don't know much about the guy other than he wears a metal mask, he has a castle, and he dresses like Link from the Zelda games.

I'm the only person on Earth who thinks this.

Agh, shit, fireballs! I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do here. I tried dodging them and running for the exit, but it won't let me out. Also I didn't exactly 'dodge' them, more like 'shuffled directly into them while occasionally hopping up and down on the spot.'

Eventually I manage to defeat the bouncing fireballs by simply waiting until they got bored of hitting me and fizzled out. I guess I pass the Super Hero Challenge then?

I guess not. Hey, it's a little bouncing robot!

Son of a bitch...

Whoa, shit! Doctor Doom's a bit of a bastard isn't he?

Well that was fucking terrible but I'll give it another go, lest anyone should accuse me of giving up too early.

Hey, I pulled off a shield throw! And to the game's credit it didn't fall down a hole, and I don't even have to go and pick it up afterwards.

This fight went a lot like my first attempt. It'd be fair to say I haven't mastered the controls just yet. Either that, or the game just randomly decides what it wants to do whenever I press the button.

This time I heroically leap over fireballs... actually no I just shuffled into them again, took a lot of damage, then somehow won anyway.

I hate that little hopping robot. Well that's quite enough of that. This game is really bad. I mean it's REALLY bad.

Well actually to be fair it might just be a bad port. This was released on a number of different computers, and I have no idea which is the original game. But I imagine the Amiga version has a good chance of being the best this game ever gets, so I'll check that out.

Dr Doom's Revenge (Amiga)
Well it does look a little better. Shame Cap seems to have forgotten what the main function of a shield is (hint: it's not for throwing).

Dr Doom's Revenge (Amiga)
No no, hit him with your fists. Your FISTS.

Dr Doom's Revenge (Amiga)
Wow, I couldn't even get past the first level this time. I wonder if Spider-Man's having any more luck.

Dr Doom's Revenge (Amiga)
I guess not. Wow that's a pretty pitiful mushroom cloud compared to the one in the DOS game. That was a blinding apocalyptic explosion of light, this is a brain sitting on an ice cream cone sticking out of a pile of cotton wool.

Next game.

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