It's not often you see a SNES title screen featuring corpses lying in pools of their own blood.
Then after 6 seconds they run out of speech and space bounty hunter Samus Aran takes over as narrator, speaking in green text and constantly blinking.
Metroid reimagined with SNES quality graphics.
It apparently ended with Samus blowing up a brain in a jar with her rocket launcher, then running away.
Metroid II she wiped out the remaining Metroids, except for a newborn larva which she brought to a research base for the scientists to study.
Hopefully they're the good kind of scientists, not the evil movie scientists that want to turn everything into a weapon.
Samus hangs around the space station just long enough for them to make an incredible discovery that might lead to a way to harness the Metroid's powers for good, then leaves them to it.
As SNES era intros go this isn't bad at all. I'll award it 10 points for style, but then I'm taking 30 points away for being unskippable.
I'll award the game 10 points for letting me redefine the controls when I started the game, it's always great to have options. But then I have to deduct 30 points for not letting me redefine the controls in-game, after I've had a chance to try them out.
It seems that if I learned anything from the other two Metroid games I played, then I've already forgotten it, because I was crap in that boss fight. They've given me a new ability since then, firing diagonally with the shoulder buttons, and I haven't gotten the hang of it yet.
What's the point of giving people a timer if no one can make it to the escape pods alive?
Though for all I know she's just sick of monsters and Metroids and scientists, and she wants to take a break from it all somewhere she's already cleared out.
Metroid II, but I'm subtracting 30 points for not making Samus's sprite bob up and down with the ship when she's standing on it.
The game keeps giving me paths I can't get to and doors I can't open... yet. I have no Morph Ball so I can't roll under this gap, I have no missiles so I can't blast open pink doors, there are ledges too high for me to jump to... it's making me very eager to upgrade my suit.
Metroid where you fight Mother Brain at the end. (I never finished the game, but I recognise it from the flashback in the intro).
Damn, if this really is the same underground complex as in Metroid, then I'm in trouble. I cleaned that place out, there'll be no upgrades left to collect!
Metroid. I had no idea the ending room in that game was just above the starting room.
I'll give this room a 10 point nostalgia bonus, but I'll subtract 30 points for still looking a bit ass. Though the new parallax background in an improvement.
I wonder, if I go over to the left will the Morph Ball upgrade be back again?
As I go to leave, a device on the wall scans me. Though I'm sure it's nothing to be worried about. It's probably just checking to see if the Morph Ball dispenser needs refilling. Probably.
LATER, BACK UP IN THE MOTHER BRAIN BOSS ROOM.
Metroid are back now too. But they weren't here a minute ago, this place was completely deserted. That means these things don't actually live here naturally, they were put here by the space pirates. Those bastards.
SOME EXPLORING LATER.
I eventually made it out alive with my bombs, but now I need to remember if I went past anywhere I can use them.
The game's easily earned 10 points for this. Though I'm deducting 30 points for taking three games to finally get around to adding it.
Fortunately I can stay in the fight by shooting these little enemies that keep raining down, and grabbing their purple health balls.
Mario got away with this shit because it has optional secret shortcuts in the pipes. Plus in Mario enemies don't pop up from a pipe you're standing on, so it's always safe to check if it's a secret passage.
Maybe this is actually a genuine secret shortcut, I don't know. I'm just struggling to find any way out.
I wonder what part of the scenery I have to bomb/shoot to get through here. (Answer: It's the pipe at the top).
NINE MINUTES LATER.
This seems like it might be the right way. According to the minimap there's a missing wall on the left, and a blue room on the right. That's usually the clue I have something to do here. But no amount of bombing or shooting is opening up a hole.
SEVEN MINUTES LATER.
This game seems to be in everyone's SNES top 10 list, and up to this point I was beginning to see why. But how the fuck is this in any way good game design? I feel like I must be missing something here. I bet Super Metroid fans are laughing their asses off at me right now for walking past the 'secret passage goggles' upgrade or something.
FOUR MINUTES LATER.
I am really struggling here. The guy likes to hang around offscreen to the right where I can't see him. I've been trying to use his roar to let me know when to fire off a missile, but he puts his hand up to block it. Plus I accidentally fired off all my ammo at nothing because I thought I'd switched back to my gun.
I've got no ammo and only a fifth of my health remaining, but if I can just stay alive long enough to harvest another 15 missiles or so, I think I still have a chance...
Okay, I've added up all those points, and the final score is...
The game looks fantastic for its time, it's slick, it's atmospheric and the music suits it perfectly. They even put in a map and save rooms for me, and I appreciate that. I was enjoying jumping around and exploring the base... right up to the point where I had to go bombing the scenery to find the next room. Of course maybe I just went the wrong way, it's a big place and the game never leads you around.
Anyway I'm sure I'll play Super Metroid again at some point, but right now I'm moving on to the next game.
Metroid II: Return of Samus (Game Boy)