Damn, that title does not mess around.
If I remember right, this is exactly how the movie started. Which is a good sign.
Oh shiiii...
Nice animated explosion. It looks like a video clip straight from the anime.
Okay, so Tokyo is wiped out in a horrific explosion... and then it's straight to a jukebox? Kinda ruins the mood a bit.
Well I guess it does make sense because at the start of the movie, the protagonist uses the jukebox to select the music played over the bike chase in the next scene. And in the game I'm using it to select if I want music OR sound effects. In a CD console game made in 1994.
Ah, now we're getting some story.
Oh. I guess that's all the story I'm going to get.
Well okay, I don't need story anyway. I'm a guy on a bike and I can move vertically across the road to dodge things like holes and cones.
You know, after going to all the trouble of putting the jukebox from the movie on the menu screen, they didn't even use the right music for this chase.
Yeah, I could have lined myself up with that ramp a little better. I'll get it next time.
Back to the start then.
I'll get it next time.
Nailed it! Though if that yellow bar on the left is my lives counter, then I just used half of them up on the first jump.
And every time I die I have to replay the level again from the very start.
I've never seen fire travel up, down, then back up along a trail of fuel before. I dunno, it's the future, maybe they've invented new kinds of fire.
'Fuel low'? Huh, I have fuel to worry about too?
Damn, the mileage on this bike is terrible. I can burn through a full tank in about 20 seconds.
On my last life now. Hey, that grey thing has to be a fuel can right? Maybe I can actually make some progress this time.
Yeah, I progressed straight into a barricade. And that's it, game over. Back to the menu.
Okay what the hell did I have to do here? I can't jump the bike without a ramp, it's not like it has missiles. Though I do have a grenade looking thing in my inventory... okay let's try this again.
LATER.
Hey, where's the grenade gone? I don't remember ever collecting it the first time around, if anything I probably would have steered away from explosives on the road.
THREE BARRICADE DEATHS LATER.
Huh, the grenade's appeared in my inventory again... oh duh, it was under the cone I just accidentally hit!
Who the fuck puts powerups under obstacles? I've been trying to avoid these cones in case they cost me health.
And I've blown a hole through the barricade! It looks like I'm jumping over, but nope I drove through it. Bit of a glitch there maybe.
But hey, maybe I can actually finish this damn level now! I can't imagine the game is on bikes the whole way through, so the next level could be much better. Maybe I'll even get some extra story to explain what it is I'm actually doing.
FIVE SECONDS LATER.
Well fuck that then. I think I've wasted enough time on this game.
These screenshots really don't capture how bad this game is. I wouldn't recommend this to anyone, especially not Akira fans, and I certainly don't plan on ever playing it again. Next game.
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