Rogue Trip: Vacation 2012 (PSX)

Happy New Year, and welcome to the first Super Adventure in Gaming of 2012!

I decided that my New Year's resolution for the site this year should be to put more effort and care into my writing, and to make a more insightful and interesting analysis of the games I play. To be more thoughtful and balanced with my criticism, and to select only the most fascinating, unusual, and beautiful video games to share screenshots from.

But then I got sick with this bloody cold. So fuck it, I'm going to put in a crap playstation game for an hour, rant about how it pissed me off, and then I'm crawling back into bed.

It's clever because 'Rogue Trip' kind of sounds like 'Road Trip'. Also it's set in 2012, wow that's this year!

I feel like I should be guessing what other game logos they took the letters from though. Well the 'G' could be from Goldeneye 007...

'War. War never changes'. Actually this has a slightly different narration:

"It is the year 2012. The world is crumbling into a new dark age. Disease and poverty run rampant in a world scorched by desolation, pollution, radiation and despair."

"But hey don't let that spoil your day, take a vacation!"

This is actually a TV advert, with this guy trying to lure the last wealthy survivors in apocalyptic America out to spend their cash at Big Daddy's vacation wonderlands. I'm guessing from the statues and the redecorated White House, that Big Daddy is the current President for Life, and he seems the type who'd actually find a way to make things worse. You know, the type with glowing red eyes.

But Big Daddy's commercial is soon hijacked by the Amalgamated Association of Automercenaries (AAA), who have their own message for the last survivors of humanity: their sightseeing tours are cheaper.

Of course the ride will be a little bumpier for any tourists choosing the automercenary taxi service, as they'll be caught in the middle of a deathmatch between rivals racing unauthorized through high security tourist traps. But hey at least they'll get some good photos out of it.

Actually now that I think about it, all their shots would probably come out looking like this screenshot. Dumb tourists!

"We now return you to your regularly scheduled crap."

So far I have to admit that this actually looks really well made, with some good artwork, a reasonably nice intro, and decent voice acting. It's got some charm and humour to it. The menu music (youtube link) sounds like it's about to break into the Peter Gunn Theme (another youtube link) any second, but in a good way.

The game gives me a run through of what I have to do. Apparently I need to get a tourist into my car and take them to photo op locations. Getting to the photo ops gets me cash, and cash gets me health and upgrades.

First though I need to decide which of these ten automercenaries I want to be. Actually it'll probably be easier to decide who I don't want to be. I'll pass on the wrestler in make up for starters.

Is that... the Batmobile? I'm sure there's supposed to be a Batman joke in here somewhere but I'm not seeing it.

Oh... right. Yeah, I think I see where they're going with this guy now. He's actually got some nice stats on that car of his.

But then she's got some nice stats too... damn, I need to just pick someone or I'll be here all night.

Okay, I chose Richard 'Dick' Biggs in the Meat Wagon, because when given a choice I always go straight to the most boringly obvious option. Wait, that name sounds familiar to me somehow... hey wasn't he an actor on Babylon 5?

Anyway, I've got my tourist in sight, so all I need to do is slowly pull alongside, let them in, and I can get this taxi ride started.

The music is apparently ska punk track 'The Rascal King' by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, which makes me feel like I'm playing a Tony Hawk's game, except without the ramps, halfpipes, rails...

Damn, look at that woman's face staring out from the bottom left. A disturbing tourist indeed.

Still, she's already paid up $104 and I haven't even taken her anywhere yet. I've just been wandering around lost, trying to figure out which of those dots on the radar would lead me to the photo op. I'm lucky there's no time limit really.

Ah, that was pretty simple. Once I was facing the right way I could see the text from the other side of the level. Now that I'm here I just need to stop on those arrows for a sec and let her take a photo of the airport.

Son of a bitch! That enemy car just blasted away a quarter of my health. Come on, take the damn photo already so I can move!

Right, okay, slight problem... they've stolen my tourist using a tourist ejecting missile, and then beat me down to less than half my health. On the plus side, I've found what button fires the machine guns. And they're infinite.


SOON.

Crap, I have next to zero health... and I just drove into a wall! I need to get this thing into reverse and pointed at Ratman so I can throw some of these special weapons his way and get my passenger back.

Wait a minute... I'm not at next to zero health, I'm mysteriously back up to just under half a bar! Regenerating health maybe? Oh duh, I suddenly have zero cash. This wall I just drove into must be a repair arch... thing.

As far as I can tell we're all fighting over a single tourist here, and whoever has them becomes a target for everyone else.

Come on lady, get back in the damn Meat Wagon! I need to get photo ops for cash to get this thing repaired. In this state I'm lucky no one's managed to blow me up yet.

They blew me up! Those bastards.

It's okay though, I had an extra guy! And I want my bloody tourist back.

You know, I don't have a problem with ska punk, but if this track loops just one more time then I'm... I'm going to... put up with it and whine some more. 


THEN SOME STUFF HAPPENED.

I soon recovered my tourist, but ran out of photo ops. Apparently the others had been grabbing them while I was busy exploding. So with nowhere left to take the tourist, I shook hands with my competitors and we all headed off home... actually no it just turned into a deathmatch free for all. And fortunately when the flaming debris stopped raining down, I was the last man standing.

Damn, 9 minutes 15 seconds of a song that lasts less than 3 minutes. And it's still playing on the level complete screen. It'll be playing all night too. In my nightmares.

Level 2 is the same deal. One enclosed arena, one repair arch, one tourist, and six automercenaries (well, five now) trying to kill me before I can spend all my hard earned cash getting my car fixed up.

New song though! Totally different music genre too.

Crap, I only get two lives to last me the entire game? Well at least it let me save between levels

Fantastic, I spent ages getting fat Elvis down to half health, and now he's heading straight through the repair arch to get it all back. With my tourist in the back seat!

Yeah I should probably just shoot him with a passenger ejection missile, that'd be the smart thing to do, but I haven't actually seen one around yet. Though I've got a meteor, maybe that'd work...

Great. By the time I've actually blown up his car and got the tourist out, I've been shot up so much that I'm going to explode myself before I can even reach a photo op.


EVENTUALLY, ON THE NEXT LEVEL.

See, I told you he'd redecorated the White House. I have to say, this apocalypse has been much kinder to Washington DC than the one in Fallout 3. There's even trees around!

Well, now I've seen that I can finally stop playing. Not that I have much choice seeing how the next shot's going to finish me off.


SOON, BACK AT THE MENU SCREEN.

Oh hang on, there are other game modes here. Well I've tried 'Vacation', so I might as well give 'Getaway' a shot next. I'm almost scared to select it though, and not just because of that dangerous looking exposed wiring.

Well as far as I can tell, 'Getaway' mode is actually the exact same thing as 'Vacation' mode, except I get to choose the level, and I only get one life. Which actually turned out to be not quite enough.

Okay, I'll check out what 'Challenge' is so I can finally turn this off.

Hmmm, I think I like this meteor special weapon.

Challenge mode seems to be just straight deathmatch as far as I can tell. Six opponents, and we get one life and a pile of cash each. First one not to have been killed at the end wins. I'm not a massive fan of car dogfighting, but at least I don't have to worry about tourists any more. Should make things easier at least.


SOON.

It's not easier! Somehow my plan of diving straight into the fray and getting the first shot in has gotten everyone's crosshairs pointed squarely at me. Not that I actually get a crosshair, though that would have been nice.

I've got one hit point left, but if I can just get close to that repair arch right ahead I'll be able to fix this ambulance up to full health, swing around, and start a thorough investigation into the effects of various special weapons when inflicted upon their asses.

Aww come on I was right there! Actually I honestly don't care. Though to be fair, I've got a miserable cold and it's made me miserable, so it's entirely possible that I just hate everything right now.


I've got to admit though, it was way better than I was expecting. Apparently this was made by the original developers of the Twisted Metal car combat franchise, so they had some experience in the genre. I've no clue how they compare though, as I don't remember ever playing the games. Something else to add to my ever expanding list of video games I should be checking out in 2012 I suppose.