Wolverine: Adamantium Rage (SNES)

This is apparently only the second of the Wolverine games. Which surprised me because he's a popular character, though I suppose he turns up in all the X-Men games too.

I can access files x-files from the menu that give me helpful info on the game's characters. For instance, now I know that Wolverine hangs around with the X-Men and is good at fighting.

Sadly all the buttons and menu options are fake so I can't rewind or fast forward.

Okay I admit I already knew who Wolverine is. But besides Sabretooth (who 'surprised' me in the NES Wolverine game) I have no clue who his enemies are, so I'll look them up.

That's... uh... fascinating.

Actually screw it, I'll just play the game.

The game starts with Wolverine at the X-Men mansion, fighting with a computer.

Wow, he looks pissed off. Apparently he's trying to hack into some secret files.

Oh, he was just trying to remember his e-mail password.

Good work Wolverine, you broke Professor X's monitor. Now his students can't play Doom, you heartless monster.

The coordinates led to a base filled with science equipment. Hey, you don't suppose this is the secret lab where they gave Wolverine his metal plated skeleton?

I like the Wolverine head next to his health percentage. He looks like a little Wolverine teddy bear.

So far I've figured out that he has regenerating health and a really floaty jump. He can punch, kick, dive, hit people behind him, and has two different kinds of claw slash. But I still can't figure out how to get past this damn wall.


LATER.

Oh, he can climb walls by claw slashing into them! Well now I know.

I've also found out that there's no time limit, or else I would have lost already considering how long it took me to get over that damn wall.

At the end of the corridor I find a lift, and decide to see what's up.

Shit, these enemies keep swarming out at me and no matter how many I hit they just keep coming! Back down the lift!

That's interesting. I just killed an enemy and the 'LEFT' counter over on the bottom left went down by one.

Which probably means I have to hunt down and kill every enemy on the map doesn't it? Great.


LATER.

Still 14 enemies left. I'm beginning to think they're hiding from me.


LATER.

I am so sick of these turrets shooting at me every time I come past here, but there doesn't seem to be any way to hit them.

Wolverine's attacks are all so damn painfully slow that even with his floaty jump I don't think he's in the air long enough to actually carry out the punch animation in time.


MUCH LATER.

Wolverine you bastard, you can do better than that! He's right there, why do I have to line him up exactly with your claws before you'll hurt him?

At least the enemy has the same problem I do. We're too close so neither of us can hit the other, and Wolverine's attacks are so damn slow that even if I move to a place I can hit him from, he'll just wander out of the way before my claws connect.


MUCH MUCH LATER.

Awesome, now I'm getting somewhere. Except, no this is all walled off, and I can't find any other way to get inside.

And this damn music loop is driving me crazy now. It wasn't so bad at first, and it suits the character in a 90s kind of way, but there's only so much of it I can take.

Well there's the exit, and of course it won't open until I've killed 11 more enemies. And no, these little respawning flying things don't count.


MUCH MUCH MUCH LATER.

Hey, I've figured out a new trick! Wolverine can climb across ceilings in the same way he climbs up walls. I search all the ceilings up here, but I still can't find a way to get into that room with the two enemies and a Wolverine head inside.


MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH LATER.

Day 31. Or at least that's how long it feels like I've been stuck on this damn level. I've found more enemies to punch, but the LEFT counter isn't going down any more. Even when I actually manage to get my punch to connect and kill one of them.

My resolve is starting to falter, and I'm starting to feel that I'll never make it past level one. I start thinking about reading walkthroughs or checking a youtube video to find out where these last few enemies are hiding. But not quite yet.

Oh, well, that explains why these enemies don't count towards the total. Because these ones respawn from the doors. At least it's easy enough to tell the two types apart.

Actually no, they're impossible to tell apart. But you know what, I'm not giving up. I am going to get through that damn door before I turn this game off.


MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH... MUCH LATER.

I CAN HIT THE TURRETS! It's possible, I did it, and they count towards the kills needed to open the exit door. So I just have to do that... maybe 7 more times, and I'm out of here!

Missed, again.

Doesn't matter, I've got infinite time and recharging health. I can keep doing this for hours if necessary. Not that I particularly want to.

Oh, of course. That wall was actually a door that I could have walked through at any time. You best believe that's earning these two a slice of evisceration each.

"GO!" Damn right I'm going to go, just as soon as this door opens up. And then I'll be free from this bullshit forever.

No... no no no no no! This is just the same bullshit all over again!

Only this time I really can't reach the damn turrets.

Awesome, another little wolverine head. I just have to figure out how to turn these beams off to grab it.

I'm getting a collection of these things going now.

I got sick of wandering the level and trying to punch turrets, so out of desperation I tried punching a computer. After all, that's always worked out for Wolverine in the past.

Unfortunately this time the computer is fighting back. It's just set off a countdown and there's 29 seconds left on the clock.

Fortunately I knew just where to run. With the computer disabled the beams were also deactivated, allowing me to walk right through to the exit door with 3 seconds left on the clock.

And then the damn thing wouldn't open. Because I have 6 enemies left to kill.

Wow, that's it? No lives, no continues, no checkpoints? I make one mistake and it's the end of the game? Well, to be honest I'm glad because I was totally sick of it.

That's a nice looking, yet totally out of place game over screen though. I like how the letters fall down onto the reflective floor, it's a cool effect. I'll add that to my list of things I like about the game, along with... well, Wolverine's sprite is well animated and the graphics look good. So it's not ALL bad, I guess.