It's based on a movie, how bad can it be?
Whoa, what the hell's going on with Keanu Reeves' hair?
Oh, 'Select Player', I get it now: it's showing me which character I'm choosing to play as.
The heroes hurtle through time once again in their phone booth time machine.
Hey, we're in Eygpt! Well that explains why the title screen music sounded like it was from an Egyptian level, it's the same music as level one. Maybe if I'm really lucky it'll be the same music for level 2, 3 and the rest of them too.
Hang on, why are the characters and the pyramid in different perspectives?
Whoa, why am I suddenly leaning to the right? That's not how perspective works!
Something clearly ain't right here.
Awesome, I've found a note! Now I just need to figure out how to get over there.
Hmm, all I've got on me is a guitar. Always nice to have around, but not much use for getting past rocks.
That background really isn't helping. Whoa, I've got a score over 9000 already? All I did was inspect a tree and fail to get a note.
Wait a second, 9967+32= 9999. Are they stealing points from me for every step I take? I guess it does make sense that to get the best score in this game I should have quit before I started.
There's at least four different perspectives on screen right now, it's amazing.
Well I'm not going that way. Unless I beat them to death with my guitar! Hmm, okay I'll have to remember to come back here when I figure out how to do that.
Excellent! I got a note!
Agh I took a step up here and was immediately swarmed by these things and eaten. What are they supposed to be anyway? Lions?
Fortunately I respawned at the time machine, so I'm instantly back into action. Hey, someone left a gold nugget lying around. I'm nicking that.
A fine collection of useful things. Oh it seems that my score
does go up above 9,999 when I actually do stuff.
I wonder if I can examine this statue.
Mystical scarab beetles? But they're like the worst kind!
I'm definitely not a fan of mystical scarab beetles.
He has all of time and space to visit, and he's spending his time evading scarab beetles and picking up notes, that's just sad.
Oh damn, I'm basically talking about myself there.
Yeah, screw the land of mystical scarab beetles, I've got a thousand other fictional worlds to explore. The only reason I've played this so long is because the music is inexplicably catchy. One last thing before I leave though...
Yeah, choosing a different character changes nothing.
Next game.
No comments:
Post a Comment