Plus I'm bad at them. Really really bad at them. And I hate them.
But whatever, I'm going to play Speedball anyway.
Oh damn, those bastards have put the control instructions on the menu. That means I've got absolutely no excuse for not knowing how to play.
I'll just figure it out as I go. It can't be that hard, the controller only has one button.
I gotta go with team Bitmap shades, as the other two look way too dumb.
There's only one thing I'm still not sure of. What colour am I?
Fuck, I'm playing as green team aren't I?
A FEW SECONDS LATER.
It seems easy enough to run up the field with the ball, as red team isn't trying that hard to take it off me, and there's no danger of accidentally dropping it. But getting it past the keeper into the goal is another story.
I could try to kick the ball at a wall and bounce it into the goal, but those green orbs are in the way and they seem to deflect it.
Shame I have no idea what any of these actually do.
I would have done better if my damn goalkeeper hadn't failed to save a single goal. Though to be fair that is partially my fault, as I'm the one directly controlling him. But I'm usually trying to intercept the ball with one of the defenders, so when it switches to the keeper I'm still pulling in the wrong direction and he goes wandering away from the goal.
SEEMINGLY HOURS PASS.
It's true, I finally won a leg. If I can keep this up I might actually make it through to round 1. I'm still no good at tackling the other team for the ball, or passing between my players, but running up the screen and avoiding the guys in red I can do.
BUT THEN, ON LEG 3.
But then I manage a truly outstanding shot. From the other side of the pitch I kick the ball off a wall and bounce it right into the goal. My own goal.
I can do this. I know I'm not the best at sports games, in fact I'm probably the worst at sports games, but I can do this.
Seems like basically the same thing though. It's even got the dude constantly punching his leg.
|Klash Ball (NES)|
|Klash Ball (NES)|
But I'm bored with watching my team lose now, so I'm moving on to the next game.
Bitmap Brothers games:
Part 1: Xenon (Atari ST)
Part 2: Speedball (Atari ST)Part 3: Xenon 2 - Megablast (Amiga)
Part 4: Cadaver (Amiga)
Part 5: Speedball 2 - Brutal Deluxe (Amiga)
Part 6: Gods (Amiga)
Part 7: Magic Pockets (Amiga)
Part 8: The Chaos Engine (Amiga)
Part 9: The Chaos Engine 2 (Amiga)
Part 10: Z (MS-DOS)