Gunstar Heroes (Genesis/Mega Drive)

Okay, that's a good title screen. I especially like the way the logo spins onto the screen.

I guess the guy in the coat with the 'Guile' haircut is one of the Gunstar Heroes then?

I hate the Treasure logo. Just thought I'd mention that.

I think it's because it's trying to give the impression of a 3d treasure chest with 3d shaded pieces. When I see it as a chest the shading is impossible, but when I see it as pieces my brain just wants to put it together as the chest and... you know what I'll just play the game.

Alright, I'm guessing these three are the Gunstar Heroes. No sign of the guy in the coat on the title screen yet though. Also I can't tell if the guy with the black hair is supposed to have a moustache.

Anyway, these three heroes are apparently chasing someone.

And there here is. No idea how he got up there... or how the heroes are going to get up there for that matter.

Oh, apparently it wasn't that important after all, because the intro skips over to some other stuff going on.

Okay, enough intro. Time to start playing this game.

First I get to select my character. There are two characters to choose from; one can run around while firing, the other is locked in place whenever he pulls the trigger. I'll go with the first guy.

Then I get to choose my weapon, I'm a busy man so I'll just pick whatever and select 'End'.

The game seems to flick quickly between two different images to get that darkened effect on the unselected level pictures, giving the illusion of having more colours on screen than the system can actually produce. It's nice when people find clever ways around a machine's limitations.

It seems there's only four levels in the game, or at least four I start off with, and I can play them in any order. I'll start with level 1, because it's level 1.

Ah, it's a run and gun action game like Metal Slug. Infinite enemies pour onto the screen constantly, so there's no point trying to kill them all. I just have shoot a path through them so I can keep running.

Hmm that seems like a power up, just like the one I have up there on my hud in fact. Hopefully that means that collecting this will give me double the gun power. I'll let you know just as soon as I manage to persuade my guy to pick the damn thing up.

Yeah, I'd say that was double firepower. I can definitely live with that.

I've also got a button to turn the power up off, which strikes me as strange, but whatever.

Oh come on, just pick up the heart. It's almost certainly health and even if it's not I still want it.

Whoa, a boss fight already? I've only been playing for like a minute. And it's an evil plant monster... I hate evil plant monsters.

Weirdly they've chosen to use a four figure number for the health instead of a bar. Though it does make it very easy to tell if what I'm doing is actually hurting the guy.

Yeah I'm pretty sure I was hurting him.

Wow, what's worse than infinite respawning enemies? Infinite respawning enemies when I'm trying to climb a bloody pyramid.

I like the layers of clouds drifting by in the background though... agh, dammit. I have to stop looking at the pretty clouds and start shooting the annoying enemies. Actually no, I need to stop shooting the unending horde of enemies and start jumping faster up these bricks!

Oh crap, it's... a monster made of crates? They've finally come for revenge after all the times I've stacked them, jumped on them, drove through them, thrown them at people, and smashed them to pieces to get to the delicious health kits and ammo within.

And here's me without a crowbar.

Damn, I'm corned again. Okay, new plan, I'm just going to dive attack him until he goes away.


SOON.

Well that was a fantastic plan except for the part where I lost all my vitality points defeating him and then got shot and killed on the way back down.

Infinite continues? I really hope so.

Yeah this diving tactic isn't as effective as I'd like. He's nearly dead but I'm at 44 health now.

It doesn't help that the game had the decency to start me off back at the mid-boss fight, but not give me the upgraded weapon I was carrying. How am I supposed to a better job this time with only half the firepower?

Yeah, how do you like sliding, huh? Don't like that much do you?

I tried shooting diagonally up and left, but that makes me run right into the enemies and off the screen in the wrong direction. Maybe I should have chosen the character who freezes in place when he shoots.

That's interesting, I got a different pick up this time, and instead of replacing my original weapon their effects were combined giving me rapid fire energy bolts.

So I have four starting weapon types and perhaps 10 upgraded ones? Would be nice.

Oh shit, a third boss battle on the first level? This game really doesn't seem to like me much.

Well I got it down to 1339, that's not so bad considering I started with 40 health right?


ONE BOSS FIGHT, A SLIDE DOWN A PYRAMID AND A FIGHT THROUGH THE JUNGLE LATER.

Damn, I got impaled and there's still 2050 health to go on that thing. That's worse than last time!

And now I've got to start all the way back at the box boss again.


ONE BOSS FIGHT, A SLIDE DOWN A PYRAMID AND A FIGHT THROUGH THE JUNGLE LATER. AGAIN.

Fuck, 2346 is worse again. This always happens to me, my first run is usually my best, then each time I try again I just get worse and worse.

Well I can't be bothered playing all that again. The box boss and I are getting sick of the sight of each other, and at this rate next time I reach this fight I'll probably end up tripping over and impaling myself on my gun before the battle even starts.

Sorry, but level one was just too damn tough annoying for me. And that's all I'm going to see of Gunstar Heroes.

Though now that I think about it, the game has a level select doesn't it?

Ah, this is better. Level two with the fixed shot guy. And I've got a HOMING PISTOL.

That's right you little enemy bastards, there's nowhere you can hide from my triangles.

Homing bullets + rapid fire = a deadly stream of balls that arcs towards enemies automatically. You know I think I like this weapon combination system. A lot.

Agh, it's the guy from the intro... and he's throwing his own men at me! That just ain't right.

M. Bison went down easier than I expected, but right afterwards I was dropped into another boss fight.

And right after him I was dropped into another boss fight. Too many bosses for me.

Okay, let's see what level three is like.

I start off by having to climb ledges to chase after an airship as it takes off. I like how the game mixes up the gameplay so one level I'm running, next I'm riding a mine cart thing, then I'm climbing.

C'mon that's totally not fair. They can't pin me in then just machine gun me to death. Well okay they could and they did.

So screw level three, let's check out the fourth and final level on the level select screen: The Dice-Maze.

Hah, double homing shot point blank right into the bastard's face. That's what you get mate, for trying to murder me with a... crane... thing.

I could fire from the other side of the screen and the homing bullets would find their way over there eventually, but it's more satisfying this way.

This doesn't really look how I expected a dice-maze to look somehow. It seems more like a power plant. But then what do I know about dice-mazes anyway?

Oh right, now I'm at the dice-maze. Looks more like a board game, but whatever I'll just go with it.

You know, I can't help but notice that one or two of those squares have 'fight' written on them. Well, I'm not overly optimistic that I'll be reaching the end of this board (especially not with only 47 health), but hey I'm here now so I might as well throw the dice and give it a shot.

Well okay, that's a good boss to start with. The guy just harmlessly bounces over me, I haven't even taken a hit.

So far so good.

Another fight square, though I'm not really seeing how this has anything to do with fighting. It's a puzzle where I have to hit certain walls to toggle other walls connected to them, and eventually figure out how to open up a path to the exit.

I get the feeling that 48 seconds won't be enough time.


A FEW DICE ROLLS LATER.

Aww, look at this little guy!

I'm sure there's going to be a shocking twist to this boss fight at some point but right now this is like, well, shooting a little tiny guy with a huge upgraded homing laser.

Crap, now there's more of them and I've lost most my health and it's looking bleak! I don't like this!!

And then... I run out of screenshots.


I actually survived right to the very end of the board, collecting just enough health along the way to keep myself in the game. Then after getting my ass kicked by the boss, I shut the game off and found that technical difficulties had eaten all evidence of my gameplay after this screenshot.

So you're just going to have to take my word that I got to the end of the whole board, not that it's any great achievement.


Well the game's slick, beautiful, well animated, it sounds great, it's full of varied gameplay and inventive boss fights... but I just didn't enjoy it that much, so it doesn't get a gold star. Constantly running forward through a shooting gallery of infinite enemies turned out to be less fun in practice than it might sound, despite all the flashy explosions. All I was doing really was sweeping a path... with gunfire. Plus the guy in the coat on the title screen never did turn up. Next game.