Cannon Soccer (Amiga)

Super Adventures at Christmas - Game 3:

It's Cannon Soccer, aka Cannon Fodder Amiga Format Christmas Special (1993)! Okay maybe it's technically more of a two level demo given away on a magazine coverdisk (issue 54 if you're wondering) than a proper game, but it's Christmas related so I'm playing it anyway.

It's been a long while since I last played this, but I remember this one had won me over before I even put it in the drive. 'It's on a transparent green disk, how can it not be awesome?' I thought.

I was pretty young at the time.

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Way back at the tail end of 1993, Sensible Software's Sensible Soccer was perhaps the most critically acclaimed and well loved of all Amiga games, and their next game, Cannon Fodder, was about to become another massive hit.

But instead of making a boring typical demo disk to promote their new release, they decided to combine the two games and add some Christmas trees to create two new levels.

Yeah this game really is just a couple of new missions for Cannon Fodder, it looks and plays identically. Well except for the football field, and the lack of a map button. Also no intro song! No music at all in fact, and I'm very grateful for that. Because chances are the music would have been Christmas carol remixes played on an endless loop.

Right, I've grabbed the grenades and rockets from on top of the cliff, and now I'm apparently gunning down football players on their home turf. It seems like I'm being pointlessly cruel, but they'd have shot me first if I'd given them half a chance. Plus I have to kill them all to win.

I like how the bullets have shadows. It's such a small detail, but it does help make it easier to see where I'm firing them. Also the way the screen scrolls over in the direction of the crosshairs so I can see who I'm shooting at helps too. Lots of good game design so far.

Okay this is worrying; who the hell let the opposing team bring an assault helicopter onto the field? And more importantly, why aren't my rockets hitting it?


10 SECONDS LATER.

Shit, this guy is relentless. I've already lost Stoo and RJ, and the way he's dropping those grenades around I doubt Jools and Jops are going to be around much longer.

It's not entirely predictable where the things are going to land, and if I wander just a little too close I'm screwed.

Damn! Once the helicopter was on my tail, that was it. There doesn't seem to be any way to destroy it, and no way to get it to stop chasing me.


ONE RESTART LATER.

Okay, I have a new plan. This time I'm going to split my squad and send out one man to race to the helicopter and get it before it takes off. In the likely event of failure, I'll still have the rest of my team left and most of my explosives, and I'll have lured the helicopter out of the way somewhere.

Crap, I was so sure I got the bastard that time! First he blows up RJ, then he gets the rest of my team too. TRY AGAIN.

Maybe I can't destroy him from the ground, but if I lure him up here to the cliff...

...I still can't destroy him. TRY AGAIN.

New plan: avoid the damn helicopter.

Oh, there are enemy houses down here. These are infinite enemy generators that are going to keep spitting out footballers (or whatever) until I lob some grenades their way. The only problem... I forgot to give this guy any explosives.


LATER.

Right, this time I have a full team and all the explosives I could find. Well I used to have a full team anyway. Poor Jools and Jops. Still, I should be grateful that the door didn't randomly fly off in my direction and take out the rest of team. Cannon Fodder really is a bastard sometimes.

I love this explosion pixelwork though. There aren't many frames there, but they get the point across.


AND THEN THE HELICOPTER GETS ME AGAIN.

Actually the helicopter got me a few times. Every time it looks like I'm making progress, every new approach I try, every single time I just try to run... the damn copter gets me.

To be honest, the helicopter is kinda pissing me off right now.

Oh come on, I'm still on the bloody cliff at the start this time! I didn't even get the chance to grab my rocket ammo.


LATER.

Oh hang on, that's an 'enter vehicle' cursor. It seems that Sensible Software have left me a little Christmas present.

Hahahahahaha! How do you guys like it when I'm the one spamming grenades everywhere for a change? Isn't much fun is it?

Where's that son of a bitch helicopter now, eh? I'd like to show him my new toy.

Okay, that's it. I give up. This damn level is just the developers playing a cruel joke on their fans, there's no way it's possible to win. The helicopter is invulnerable, whatever I try I'll always lose.

So I'm turning the game off now before I end up driving myself crazy. Next game.



HOURS LATER.

Actually I'm going to put it back on and give it another shot.

I've been thinking about it, and maybe I don't even need to kill the helicopter. Perhaps just killing the footballers and blowing up the houses will be enough to complete the mission.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

I finally caught that thing on the ground, threw a grenade before it could take off, and the quarterback is toast! Uh, wrong sport... whatever! I guess it really is random whether I can kill this thing or not. This wasn't skill, I just got lucky this time.

All I have to do now is kill everything else on the level without dying and having to start all over again. No pressure.

Why does their goalie get to carry a rocket launcher? Also why doesn't our team even have a goalie?

In retrospect, I probably should have split my team before running towards a guy who can end my game with one rocket, but I got lucky and killed him before he could pull the trigger.

This is the last building (I hope). I've split the team so even when the door inevitably flies off and kills these two, I'll still have two guys left to claim the glory and medals. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

Nothing went wrong! I've finally finished that bloody level and now I never have to play it again.

Okay, let's check out the other level now.


SOON.

Agh, fuck this! Next game!