I kid, Daniel Barton is way too professional to panic like that. He's really yelling for his producer, Al. Lame last words, but what can you do?
Earth is being invaded by aliens. They started off with Meteors! and now they've landed on the surface and moved on to Lasers!
In a massive space-battlecruiser orbiting the Earth, the last remnants of Earth's space military put together an elite wing of pilots to lead the counter-assault against the alien menace.
First up, Boomer:
Who else have we got?
According to the records, I'm 'the new recruit' and I've 'just transferred here'. I'm surprised they didn't go for NAME: CLASSIFIED, but maybe that would have been too much of a cliché for them.
I've got lasers, I've got missiles, I've got afterburners, and I've got a sneaking suspicion that if I fly outside the dotted line on the radar, I'm going to get blasted.
In this game, you can only glide above the ground. If you pull up or down you'll pitch but you don't actually ascend or descend. This makes it quite difficult to avoid the buildings.
I don't know who's idea it was to only have front facing weapons on this craft, but they're an idiot. I've got about 20 metres of visibility due to this fog, and my ship has two speeds: fast and very fast.
Tapping
Refueling stations mean full shields, full lasers and full missiles. I'd stick around them if I could, but while I'm dogfighting the half dozen enemies that hang around them, the rear side of the edge-of-level boundary tends to advance meaning that if I attempt to make another pass for more ammo, I'll explode.
The CO really likes to distract me over the radio. One minute it's 'This isn't a game, Lieutenant!', the next it's 'You're doing great!'. The problem is that it's a video transmission which overrides your central radar so you can't see where the enemies or the instant death boundaries are.
In the words of my generation, UP YOOOOUUURS!
Earth must really be stuck for pilots, because they went to the trouble of scraping together what was left of me after I was thoroughly annihilated by the alien super-structure and bringing me back to life.
The FMV doctor informs the CO that I've only suffered 'a few bumps and bruises' and that I'm ready to rejoin the battle immediately. They don't even give me a day to recover: I'm expected to rejoin the very same battle I was shot down in.
Sure, why not. I love Egypt, me.
Because things really got out of hand last time, I've made doubly sure to not waste a single laser or missile shot. Despite my efforts, I'm still completely out of lasers and missiles!
These floaty ship things move a lot faster than I can turn. It's easier to set the ship to the slowest speed and let them orbit you until they're in front of you.
On this life, I'm killed by the boss thing again. This time, I'm going to simply use my afterburners and head directly for the enemy super-structure. My CO isn't liking it, but I don't care.
Both the CO and the computer voice did warn me, I just didn't listen. I'm shot down in seconds.
I enjoyed it up until the point I had to restart the level when I died, or when they started moving the edges of the instant-death boundary so I couldn't return to the previous refuel points, or I couldn't do any damage to the boss structure when I got to Cairo. I'm not going to be playing this game again.
The FMVs are the most well produced part of this game. In fact, they're so well produced that they don't really leave any kind of impression. If you're waiting for the illusion to shatter when a character screws up a line or some cheap scenery falls to bits, that's probably not going to happen. How boring.
Typical snark posting by typical hipster gamer who thinks that every new system/game is better than older ones (if I'm wrong or off in my assessment, please correct.)
ReplyDelete'In a massive space-battlecruiser orbiting the Earth, the last remnants of Earth's space military put together an elite wing of pilots to lead the counter-assault against the alien menace.'
Excuse me? No. The USS (later UNSF [United Nations in the sequel Shockwave: Operation Jumpgate) Omaha was the only space ship that Earth had, obviously made by the USA to stop threats like this. That's why it goes into action against the aliens.
'This is Boomer. You can tell because he's got a sticker on his head that says 'Boomer.'"
Really? No duh! I suppose the fact that many pilots have their name on their helmets in real life never occurred to you?
'According to the records, I'm 'the new recruit' and I've 'just transferred here'. I'm surprised they didn't go for NAME: CLASSIFIED, but maybe that would have been too much of a cliché for them.'
Perhaps the listing of a name, but not the showing of a face mans that the game developer actually though about the fact that a male or a female could play the game and actually see themselves in it, as opposed to what game developers usually do today?
'I've got lasers, I've got missiles, I've got afterburners, and I've got a sneaking suspicion that if I fly outside the dotted line on the radar, I'm going to get blasted.'
'There's hundreds of these tripods all over the place! It's all I can do to not crash into the things. (And not fly out of bounds while doing so.)'
'In this game, you can only glide above the ground. If you pull up or down you'll pitch but you don't actually ascend or descend. This makes it quite difficult to avoid the buildings.'
'I don't know who's idea it was to only have front facing weapons on this craft, but they're an idiot. I've got about 20 meters of visibility due to this fog, and my ship has two speeds: fast and very fast.'
'Even though the levels are completely linear and even though there are refuelling stations at regular intervals which would make great checkpoints, you have to start the entire level again when you die. These levels are pretty long, especially if you stick around to kill every last alien.'
'Because things really got out of hand last time, I've made doubly sure to not waste a single laser or missile shot. Despite my efforts, I'm still completely out of lasers and missiles!'
'These floaty ship things move a lot faster than I can turn. It's easier to set the ship to the slowest speed and let them orbit you until they're in front of you.'
'On this life, I'm killed by the boss thing again. This time, I'm going to simply use my afterburners and head directly for the enemy super-structure. My CO isn't liking it, but I don't care.'
When playing games like these, codes are your friend (http://3do.cheatfreak.com/Shockwave-Invasion-Earth-2019-cheat-codes/200-15111.html)-don't be afraid to use them. Strategy guides also help.
I'm sure the author will be able to defend his words just fine if he reads this and decides to give a thoughtful response, but I thought I'd jump in and reply first anyway.
Delete"Typical snark posting" - All Super Adventures articles are guaranteed a minimum level of snark or your money back. Especially ones written back in 2011 when we were... still getting our bearings.
"typical hipster gamer" - Surely a hipster who only prefers modern mainstream consoles over vintage system would be an atypical hipster gamer? I guess I don't know that much about hipsters really to be honest.
"if I'm wrong or off in my assessment, please correct." - I'm not going to claim to know whether mecha-neko prefers older games or newer ones, but seeing as the guy voluntarily played this on a real live 3DO purely out of his own curiosity, I think he's at least willing to give the classics a chance.
"Omaha was the only space ship that Earth had" - Can't comment, haven't played the game myself.
"I suppose the fact that many pilots have their name on their helmets in real life never occurred to you?" - 1. I think that's actually more of a movie thing so that you can tell which character is which. 2. He has a sticker on his head with his name written on in marker pen. That's funny! 3. I'm not sure that mecha-neko was even intentionally mocking it.
"Perhaps the listing of a name, but not the showing of a face mans that the game developer actually though about the fact that a male or a female could play the game and actually see themselves in it" - Sure, it just comes across as a bit convenient. Also they say that 'he's a real ace on the simulators', so I guess female players are actually out of luck here, along with males taller or shorter than 5'10".
"When playing games like these, codes are your friend" - This is a serious video game website and I tell all of my serious article writers that they are forbidden to use cheats while evaluating gameplay and relaying their experience of it. Seriously, it's rule #2 up there on the top right of the page!
Wanted to add here: Ray, you and J Man (from another site) are my fave reviewers and hosts.
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