I'm not sure what plan A was meant to be here, but seeing as all he's carrying is six bullets and six sticks of dynamite, I imagine things were going to go bad even if he hadn't crashed.
The music here is like the piano soundtrack to a silent movie, as if to say 'no, we're not ripping off Indiana Jones, we're paying homage to the 1930's serials Indiana Jones ripped off!' A bit out of place for a story set in 1945 though isn't it, considering that's over 15 years after the introduction of 'talkie' movies.
Rick Dangerous came out in the era when PCs were still lagging behind machines like the Atari ST and Amiga, so the DOS version isn't the best looking version of the game. Still, the gameplay seems identical. Pity you have to control it with the OKZX keys though, as it's a bit awkward.
And then poor Rick was instantly killed when the guy came back over and walked too close to where he's standing right now. You can't even get close to these assholes.
Doing good here I think, I've lost two lives to the second enemy in the game.
Oh by the way, Rick Dangerous came out on the Amiga, Amstrad CPC, Atari ST, Commodore 64, PC, and ZX Spectrum. And one thing those systems have in common... is that they all have a keyboard. So why the fuck can't I just type in my name here?
LATER, AFTER REPLAYING EVERYTHING FROM THE START OF THE GAME AGAIN.
Those faces on the wall spit out darts when I'm standing in a particular place so I need to be careful how I make this next jump or else I'll get one in the back of his head.
You know, Rick actually controls pretty well, with fast, precise movement, and I can even steer him in the air. But none of that matters right now because there is no possible way to avoid these spikes once you're falling. You're given a choice here to jump or fall, so there's a 50/50 chance of losing a life through no fault of your own first time around.
A LITTLE BIT FURTHER ON.
Time to flip a coin, then take a leap and see whether I'm gonna have to replay the game from the start again through no fault of my own!
Well there's no mystery about the right way out of this room, there's only one tunnel this time.
It seems I was meant to pull left on the way down to avoid the spikes at the bottom. Well, at least there's a checkpoint up there, so I don't have much to replay.
HALF A SCREEN LATER.
I mean I've lost like 15,000 lives to spikes so far getting down to this room, but these two come down here every day. They must be tough as nails! Though not as tough as bullets it turns out.
Yeah it turns out that it was a CUNNING TRICK, and I was actually supposed to run to the center of the room in time to jump over the moving block as it flew by. The fake dart spitter was just put there to set me up for a brick to the face.
Look at this jump though. Even when the game's playing fair, it can't resist throwing in one mean trick. In this case they've put in a low ceiling, so I'll crack my head on it and fall into the spikes below if I jump too soon.
Oh wait, I've only got the one life left now so it really doesn't matter. I've just got to make sure not to get Rick killed.
I made a hilarious mistake here by the way. I thought I was being a smart arse, crawling under the darts like this. But I didn't realise that Rick automatically stands up before he can drop off the edge...
But that's it, I give up. I just don't have the patience or willpower left to replay the entire game up to this point, again. (Even though it was probably only a quarter hour of gameplay).
So far it looks like bad puns.
But I'm on to them again. I just noticed that this ladder's a literal dead end as it leads to a spike. I'm actually meant to go back to the other ladder and jump on the fallen block to get up.
Shame I didn't notice 5 seconds earlier though, as I could have actually made it up there without being hit by the block as it suddenly started moving again.
Rick Dangerous actually reminds me of something like Guitar Hero, in that basically it's a test of memory as much as anything else. You start the level with six 'get out of hidden death-trap free' cards. and the goal is to find and memorise as many safe routes as you can before your inevitable failure, without wasting lives on the avoidable enemies. And you know what... it almost works, on the same level as something like I Wanna Be The Guy. If you go into it expecting the game to be an asshole to you every step of the way and you're in on the joke, then it's actually not that bad a game. Mostly because they nailed Rick's movement, so by the point you know what you're doing, you're given enough control to pull it off.
But it doesn't work for me, and the main reason is that it doesn't have infinite retries. That's the magic ingredient that makes I Wanna Be the Guy and Super Meat Boy halfway bearable for me. I don't necessarily mind having to retry reasonably sized sections of a game, even if it's a bastard of a game, but when I'm wasting an hour dodging the same damn enemies over and over to get to the bits I haven't failed at yet, just because I ran out of lives, well it gets really old. Personally I don't give a shit about mastering a game and honing my skills so I can make a perfect run, I just want to get a level over with and move on. So now that's over with, I can move on.
But you can play what sounds like a remake of the Atari version yourself for free online right now at http://rickdangerousflash.free.fr. It even comes with an infinite lives option, for players that don't hate themselves!
As always if you've got an opinion on the game or all those words I just typed, or just the site in general, you can leave a comment below.