Blaster Master (NES)

I played one of the sequels to this a while back on the Mega Drive, and it didn't really win me over. I hear this is better though.

The game starts with this kid's frog escaping from his glass prison.

Uh, have I got the right game here? I don't remember much about Blaster Master 2, but I'm pretty sure it was about driving around in a tank and shooting things.

The frog leaps out of the guy's garage... and heads straight over to the crate of nuclear waste embedded in his driveway? What?

This is like the origin story for 60s superhero, or maybe the start of a 50s b-movie. Either this guy's getting frog powers, or he's going to be spending the afternoon fighting an evil 30 foot tall frog monster. Or both.

And the answer was... giant mutant frog. Though instead of trying to destroy humanity, the frog digs a hole and continues his escape underground.

The guy is still determined to get his pet frog back though, and falls down the hole after him.

Oh, there just happened to be a super advanced tank sitting under his house. Well that explains the nuclear waste at least.

Actually no, nothing about this explains anything!

Well the frog isn't here any more, so there's only one sensible thing for the kid to do: suit up and steal the tank to chase after him!

I'M COMING FROGGY, I'LL SAVE YOU!

Oh damn, this tune is awesome. A nice heroic frog rescuing theme, way better than the music in the Mega Drive sequel (youtube links).

Strangely enough it's rock monsters and flying drones, rather than the police, that turn up to stop my insane tank rampage. I guess they're all busy fighting the giant frog.

My awesome well animated death buggy can fire horizontally or straight up, and unlike the Mega Drive sequel I played earlier, the turret doesn't stay locked in the direction I was last aiming. There's no diagonal aiming either, but I can live with that.

I wish these enemies would give me a second after appearing on screen before attacking. I've gotten into the habit of pressing fire all the time so that I have a chance of getting them before they get me.

And what the hell is damaging my tank now? I'm dodging the enemies, but my health is draining away.

Wow. I guess it was just anti-tank grass.



ONE RESTART LATER.

Damn, I've only just come through the door and I've already got robots in my face and turrets shooting me. They really don't give me much chance to react in this game.

Fortunately the enemies sometimes drop health pick-ups, so I just need to grab as much as I lose.

Hey, I can get out of my vehicle!

I found a ladder like this way back when I played the sequel too. I just assumed it was part of the scenery, because I never managed to leave my tank. Though now I know that there's a way to do it maybe I'll try again.

Blaster Master 2 (Genesis/Mega Drive)

Hey, I figured out the button combination to get out!

Wow, the guy looks like a little Cylon in this one, and he shares his health bar with the tank. I've been waiting an entire year to find out where this damn ladder goes.

Blaster Master 2 (Genesis/Mega Drive)

Oh, apparently it goes nowhere.

Screw this then, I'm going back to the NES game.

At least I seem to be having more luck back in Blaster Master 1, as the ladder led to a secret entrance.

Whoa, the game's switched genre on me inside the door. Now it's an overhead view run and gun dungeon exploring type thing. Plus it's stolen my jump button, and traded it for grenades.

Also, for some reason his outfit reminds me of Ashley Williams

(The one from Mass Effect I mean, not the one from Evil Dead).


EVENTUALLY, AT THE END OF THE CAVE.

Damn, this seems to be a dead end. It seems this place was just an optional bonus cave for me to collect some mysterious pick-ups. I'm hoping to find some 'P's to refill my health bar too, though that won't really matter much once I get back to my tank as it's got it's own health.


LATER, BACK AT THE TANK.

Uh... I can't jump high enough to get back to my tank. Seriously.

Well fuck, I'll just go and finish the level without it then. Maybe they'll start me off in a new tank on the next level.

Well, fuck. That's some pretty nasty falling damage.

And then I reappear back at the ladder with one life left... and I STILL can't get to the tank.


RESTART.

Well it's certainly nice to be back again.

I wonder how many continues this game lets me have. I'm hoping it's infinite, but I get the feeling I just wasted one of a very limited supply.


EVENTUALLY.

I fell into the water, and now I'm being nibbled by Metroids. Great.

Well I might as well go see where that ladder leads.


LATER, AFTER A LONG BORING CLIMB UP A LONG BORING LADDER.

I'm not a fan of these floating cyborg heads, as they take forever to shoot.

I suppose I'd be doing better if I still had all those gun power-ups I'd found, but I lose one unit of gun power every time I take a hit, so it took me seconds to end up back with zero strength firepower.

Oh crap, I wasn't expecting a boss battle! The last cave didn't have a boss battle! I'm just some guy looking for his mutant frog, I'm not trained for this. Also, I suck at avoiding spinning orbs.

Well the good news is that I've found that when my dude dies, he reappears just before the boss fight, so I don't have to walk all the way back. The bad news is, I'm doing just as bad this time around. I just plain suck at dodging purple orbs.


LATER, AFTER GETTING KILLED AGAIN AND USING UP ANOTHER PRECIOUS CONTINUE.

It's no use. I went exploring, but I can't find any way around that boss fight. I'm just going to have to go back, climb that damn ladder again, and give it another shot.

I'm doing worse than last time, and I'm not even up to the boss yet! Now I have to keep backtracking between areas trying to find enough 'P' power ups to fill my health bar up so the boss doesn't just one-shot me to death.


EVENTUALLY.

Oh shit! I honestly don't believe I managed to kill that boss!

It took next to forever, but the boss is finally down.

And it seems it's left me a present.

Well now I've got a 'hyper' for my tank. A hyperdrive maybe? I haven't got a clue what it is, what it does, or where to use it.

Hey, my tank's got a name! 'Sofia the 3rd. Nora MA-01'. I've heard worse.

Whoa, this music's just as catchy as the first level theme (youtube link).

Finally I'm on level 2, facing my most dangerous opponent yet: little creepy crawling bug things. They're too small, my gun can't aim low enough to hit them! They just crawl up to me and sap all my health power.

Ugh, stop following me you little bastards. Son of a bitch!



EVENTUALLY.

Damn, this place is giving me flashbacks to Batman on the ZX Spectrum.

I hope this maze doesn't turn out to be a mandatory boss base, because I'm about ready to quit and try to backtrack to the exit. I'm losing more health and gun upgrades fighting these teleporting alien things than I'm picking up. It's just not worth my while being here.



LATER.

Oh THERE's the boss, and by some miracle I've got my gun powered up all the way to 'homing bullets'. And even with enhanced firepower this is taking forever.

I'm not going to say this boss is a push over, but the biggest challenge I'm facing here is staying awake. I just wanna get back to the platforming already.


EVENTUALLY.

Hah, these little bugs aren't so tough when they're somewhere I can shoot.

I got a new ability from the boss that lets me break through certain blocks, Metroid style, but it's no good to me until I figure out where I'm supposed to use it.


EVENTUALLY, AFTER WANDERING AROUND FOR A BIT.

Finally, it's level 3! Music status: still catchy (youtube link).

I played for a bit longer, then lost all my hard-earned gun power again and got annoyed. In my frustration I got reckless, made a dumb mistake, and got myself blown up. And I didn't even manage to get screenshot of it.


I'm going to give this a gold star, mostly because I've gone soft. But also mostly because I love the music, and it really does seem to be a fairly decent game. Better than Blaster Master 2 at least.