Wednesday, 14 March 2012

The Adventures of Dr. Franken (SNES)

Is that a remix of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata playing in the background?

My first instinct was this is probably a platformer, but the spinning cogs are starting to make me think it could be a puzzle game.

I'm playing as Frankenstein's monster, not the doctor himself?

My dreams of going right are immediately dashed by this cruel wall. Though that looks like something worth grabbing in front of the cupboard, so I guess I'll probably find my over over there eventually.

What the hell is that thing and what's it doing it my house?

Then again this might be Dr Frankenstein's house now that I think about it, and if anyone's going to take the Incredible Hulk's decapitated head and add rotor blades to it, it'd probably be him.

Damn, the whirlwind got me! I have a couple of attacks, but the delay on them is throwing me off. I need to remember to compensate for it by pressing the button early. Either that or just avoid the enemies.

Here there's another piece like the one I saw in the bathroom. Best case, collecting them all gets me something awesome. Worst case, I need to get them all to finish the level. I think I know which this is going to be.

There! I do manage to hit enemies occasionally. And sometimes if I'm lucky they'll drop a tiny amount of health for me, in the form of a battery.

Because everyone knows that like Johnny 5 from the movie Short Circuit, Frankenstein's monster wasn't just brought to life by electricity, he also runs off it.

Finally I've found the final piece of the passport!

Whoa that toilet has massive teeth. Why the hell did Frankenstein put teeth on his toilet, then bring it to life? Who the hell does that?

Damn, I didn't even see the thing! It was half obscured by the wall and I just assumed it was part of the background then walked right into it.

It's easy for an enemy to cut through all my health bar quickly, because the guy isn't temporally invulnerability after taking damage. I need to get out of the way quickly.

Huh, this isn't the exit? Where am I supposed to go then? I've got all the pieces of the passport.

Wow, is that his name on the passport? He's called Dr Franken Bone?

Well I died trying to find the way out (the enemies respawn!) and had to start collecting passport pieces again from scratch. But I've got them all now, and I still don't know where to go.

Screw it, I'm going to look at a damn walkthrough. This game's been pretty crap so far but I'm determined to at least finish the first level.

Oh, of course. I have to walk through a secret wall to find the level exit. Why didn't I think of that?

Wow, I get to choose my next location. I think I'll go to Britain, there probably way fewer stitched together reanimated abominations wandering around over there.

I was right, no monsters here. Just punks and tiny little planes trying to bomb me.

Why do these guys on pogo sticks explode when I kick them? Same reason everything else does I guess.

Yeah, I'm done with this now. It's almost slick and pretty enough to make me want to keep playing in case it gets better, but this just isn't entertaining me at all.

Next game.

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