Tuesday 26 July 2016

Super Adventures Top 50 Games So Far (Not really)

This week on Super Adventures I've decided to do something different and come up with a list of the top 50 games on my humble website so far! I'm up to about 1110 games on the site, so there's plenty to choose from at this point.

But I've been doing this for five years without giving out any scores and I can't remember what half the games are like any more, so ordering them based on my opinion of their quality would be a: impossible and b: boring. Plus knowing me there'd be a lot of modern games up at the top, mostly about shooting things in first person or shooting things in a sandbox, and that list would impress exactly no one.

So instead I've let you folks pick the games for me, using the laziest method available: checking their view counts. Basically this means that it'll be a list of the games that have done abnormally well on search engines or gotten linked on forums, with older posts having a huge unfair advantage. It also means that the list is entirely pointless, but at least it won't be predictable! And this way if Zelda, Skyrim and Dark Souls don't make the top ten, you've got no one to blame but yourselves.

I get to post some pictures and show off some games, you get a glimpse at what I'm seeing behind the scenes, it all works out for everybody!


50 - The Adventure of Little Ralph (PSX) / Star Trek: Voyager - Elite Force (PC)
And I immediately screw things up by putting two games at #50. One of them's a relatively unknown (and pretty good) PlayStation platformer, the other has the tagline "Set Phasers to Frag".

They've got an equal number of views, so if you click on your favourite now it'll become the true #50. Don't too many of you click though or it'll jump to #49, the next game up will drop to #50, and soon my list will be nothing but a collection of lies.

49 - Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (PC) - Guest Post
Guest poster mecha-neko hasn't taken long to establish his presence in the list, which makes sense as he ended up writing about 12% of my site's content before realising that playing games is more fun when you're not keeping notes. So expect to see another three or four from him before this is done.

Rainbow Six is a first person shooter from the late 90s, in case you're not familiar with it, featuring teams of blocky special forces people who walk around urban environments ending terrorism. Time hasn't been kind to it, but I still think its planning mode is genius.

48 - Jurassic Park: Trespasser (PC)
Some people say that Trespasser is the worst game of 1998, but personally it's one of my favourite of the 'Jurassic Park' tie-ins. Sure they never got it working right, the dinosaurs bounce, and it's a struggle just to get your arm facing the right direction, but overcoming a challenge to defeat the ridiculous is what video games are all about.

47 - Disney's Aladdin (Mega Drive/Genesis)
We have a 16-bit console platformer! No big surprise that if one of the Aladdin games was going to make the list, it'd be the Sega one. Capcom will never be forgiven for using their own art style for the Nintendo game and taking away the sword .

46 - Star Trek 25th Anniversary (MS-DOS)
The first point and click adventure to make it into the chart. This one's pretty fitting considering it's Star Trek's 50th anniversary this year. The NES version of 25th Anniversary just missed the top 50, coming in at #718.

45 - Batman: Arkham City (PC)
Wow, I wrote about Arkham City? It's really good and I loved playing it, but it's a recent-ish game with a billion reviews out there, so my opinions on this one seem a bit redundant. More than usual I mean.

44 - Resident Evil - Director's Cut (PSX)
The Resident Evil franchise makes an appearance! Personally I was rooting for one of the sequels to show up, because I like them much better, but at least one of the games made it.

43 - GoldenEye 007 (N64) / James Bond 007 (GB)
There's two games on one post here, so it's totally cheating. Though which of them did the most work bringing it here I can't be sure. This is actually my second look at GoldenEye and the first ended up down at #583, so it may well be the Game Boy game getting the clicks here.

42 - Commandos (PC) - Guest Post
Another guest post by mecha-neko. How he managed to get Commandos up to the top 50 I don't don't know, but I guess if you can finish a level in that bastard of a game you're capable of anything.

41 - 007: Nightfire (PC) / 007: Nightfire (GBA)
Another double value post from 007. I wrote about the PS2 game as well, but that's trailing way behind in the mid 200s, so I can only imagine that people came across this beautiful corridor shot during an image search and just had to see where it came from. Because they thought I was talking about The Stanley Parable.

40 - No One Lives Forever 2: A Spy in H.A.R.M.'s Way (PC)
Cate Archer beats James Bond! I shouldn't be surprised really, as she'll always have the more stylish screenshots. Or maybe people just wanted to see what they're missing out on, as this still hasn't been released on the digital download sites! They need to get those rights sorted out already.

39 - XCOM: Enemy Unknown (PC)
This one's of the best games in the list so far, but I get the feeling it got the clicks because I was quick for once. Usually it takes me a decade or three to get around to playing a game, but this time I got there a couple of weeks before release! (Because I cheated and played the demo).

38 - Soldier of Fortune (PC) - Guest Post
Everyone really loves this screenshot mecha-neko took of a guy getting shotgunned for some reason. I guess the internet secretly shares my appreciation for subway station levels, with their escalators and shiny wall tiles. They're like sewer levels without the sewage!

37 - Outlaws (PC) - Guest Post
Another FPS written up by mecha-neko. This time with a bit more of a Wild West theme and a bit less gruesome dismemberment.

36 - Metal Gear Solid (PSX)
Nice sensible entry this one. I suspect that the only reason there aren't more Metal Gear Solid games on the list is because I haven't been writing about them yet.

35 - Beauty and the Beast: Be Our Guest (MS-DOS) - Guest Post
Okay now mecha-neko's just taking the piss. This is a collection of minigames as far as I can tell, but the post was written in the dark ages of the site so there's no animated GIFs to show off what they're like. Somehow though I doubt the game's interesting enough to be sandwiched in between MGS and Final Fantasy.

34 - Final Fantasy VII (PSX)
To no one's surprise FF VII shows up to represent the Final Fantasy franchise, though it's strange that it came here alone. There's about 14 of the games on the site now and each of them is someone's favourite so I expected it to bring its crew with it. But nope, this is it.

33 - The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (SNES)
Oh thank fuck, there's a Zelda game here too! I was starting to worry that I'd get lynched. Not that it's me choosing the games, I'm taking them from your view counts!

32 - The Lost World: Jurassic Park (Genesis/Mega Drive)
I had to double check this one to make sure it wasn't the PlayStation Lost World game. I remember this looking quite pretty for a Mega Drive/Genesis title, but the gameplay didn't blow my mind.

31 - The Chaos Engine (Amiga)
An Amiga game at last! Even though this screenshot is actually from the Sega version. It's a good choice this one, worth playing on any system. (though it's probably best to go with one that can handle the music, like the Amigas and the SNES).

30 - The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (PC)
We finally have an Elder Scrolls game in the list! I played a lot of these so I doubt it'll be the last to show up.

29 - Jurassic Park Interactive (3DO)
This is now the only 'Top 50 Games' list on the internet with a 3DO game in it! Well except for that 'Top 50 3DO Games' list on YouTube. Who even knew the system had that many titles?

The game's crap by the way.

28 - An Elder Scrolls Legend: Battlespire (PC)
Battlespire beats Oblivion! I guess people were curious to find out what the hell it actually is. It's... difficult, that's all I really remember. Aside from the fact that you start the game entirely naked for no good reason.

27 - Max Payne (GBA)
At #27 it's the Game Boy Advance version of Max Payne! The proper 3D games are way down in the hundreds somewhere, but the internet just can't resist the allure of its ultra low-res subway station tiles.

26 - The Legend of Zelda (NES)
So close, but original Zelda just misses the top 25! At least there's a NES title in the chart at last; the system isn't doing well here.

25 - Justice League Task Force (SNES vs. Genesis/Mega Drive)
Two more (very similar) games for the price of one. I'm not all that happy with my write up of either to be honest as I'm terrible at fighting games, but I got to show lots of pictures of Superman with a mullet so it wasn't a total waste of time.

24 - Wiz 'n' Liz: The Frantic Wabbit Rescue (Amiga) - Guest Post
Whoa, Wiz 'n' Liz made it to the top 50, thanks to mecha-neko's creepy screenshots! The game got a Mega Drive/Genesis release too, making this only the second 16-bit console platformer to show up in the list so far. Maybe the rest of them are waiting up in the top 10?

23 - The Terminator (MS-DOS) - Guest Post
Another mecha-neko article? This isn't a popularity contest mate. Well, okay it is. That's exactly what it is.  

The Terminator is another classic Bethesda open world game, about as classic as you get in fact as it came out in 1990. This is Elder Scrolls 0 right here... kind of.

22 - Prince of Persia (MS-DOS)
Yep, this is definitely a game you'd expect to find in a list like this. It's a legend in its genre, pioneering rotoscoped visuals and inspiring games like Prince of Persia: Sands of Time and Assassin's Creed.

21 - Commander Keen 4: Secret of the Oracle (MS-DOS)
And then Commander Keen shows up too. Not one of my favourite games, in fact I think it's downright ugly, but it seems that there's a lot of love out there for its indie EGA visuals.

Battlefield 3 F-18 jet plane cockpit aircraft carrier landed
20 - Battlefield 3 (PC)
I usually feel bad about criticising a game, because I know they take a ridiculous amount of time and effort to create (and someone who worked on it might be reading), but I took special pleasure in tearing Battlefield 3's single player mode apart. The game just pissed me off, man.

(The visuals on that F/A-18 jet fighter level though... I mean damn.)

19 - The Sniper 2 (PS2) - Guest Post
Mecha-neko again? Look, do you just want me to give the site to him to run, is that what you're telling me?

Actually I'm really glad it was him and not me who played this one, as I've read his report and it appears to be all kinds of terrible. And he beat the game too. Like five times over! He's been through it so many times that he probably even understands the plot by this point.

18 - Ys Origin (PC) - Guest Post
A high ranking guest post by someone who isn't mecha-neko for once! Congrats to JIHAUS for getting this action RPG I've never played and know nothing about to #18.

17 - Doom (MS-DOS)
Doom!

16 - Saints Row: The Third (PC)
Huh, seriously? What did you people find in my SR3 post that you couldn't find in one of the million proper reviews of it elsewhere? My opinions were routine and my screenshots were all entirely typical and unspectacular!

15 - Return to Castle Wolfenstein (PC)
Whoa, I didn't expect to see this one so high. Maybe not the most deserving first person shooter, but it's still pretty good. Plus it has a dam level and I like them.

14 - Aladdin (SNES)
PLOT TWIST! Another Aladdin makes the list, and it's the SNES game! I guess this means it's scientifically proven to be the more popular game.

13 - The Elder Scrolls: Arena (MS-DOS)
Just like it's been scientifically proven that Arena is more popular than Oblivion. I'm sorry but that's just a fact. At least in whatever bubble of reality my site's found itself in.

12 - Fallout (PC)
Fallout lands just short of the top 10, as the sole representative of the franchise to make it to the list. Fallout 3 is just shy of the top 50, but the others are miles away.

11 - Warpath: Jurassic Park (PSX)
Damn, you people really like your 'Jurassic Park' games don't you? This means that Warpath is actually the most viewed fighting game on my site, which would be more of a surprise if I ever played any of the good ones. Sorry, that was mean to Mortal Kombat.

And now we enter the top 10 of all time, with...

10 - Win, Lose or Draw (MS-DOS) - Guest Post
I... uh... what? Mecha-neko, what the hell did you put in my top 10? Better question: how the hell did you put it in my top 10?

9 - The Lost World: Jurassic Park (PSX)
Ah, here's the PlayStation Lost World game. I looked through the screenshots to see what might have caught people's eye, but they all look like ass so I don't know how it got so much attention. The game was cool in its day, but it hasn't aged all that well.

8 - Claw (PC) - Guest Post
One final entry from mecha-neko, who has managed to get one of his cat games into the top 10 somehow. He won't be satisfied though you know, not until he gets a Bubsy game to #1.

7 - Black Mesa (PC)
The only Valve game to make the top 50 and it's not even by Valve. I have a feeling that it's my comparison picture of Gordon Freeman's various HEV suits that brought people to this post, and not the picture of the Chuckle Brothers mug. Though I suppose people may have actually been genuinely curious about whether this remake is as good as the original Half-Life, and I think that it pretty much is.

6 - The Elder Scrolls: Daggerfall (PC)
A game that looks like this made it into the top 10? Remarkable.

And the highest ranking Nintendo game is...

5 - The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker (Game Cube) - Guest Post
I had my doubts of whether a Zelda game would even make the top ten (because it'd make too much sense for this list), but here's Wind Waker in the top five! Mostly thanks to ZXLink's 'Stoned Link' picture I expect. The game was controversial in its day due to its cel-shaded graphics, but that day was 14 years ago now, so the visuals have aged damn well in my opinion.

4 - Dragon Age II (PC)
People really liked this screenshot class/gender select screen back in the day, before we all discovered that the game was actually kind of crap.

I have to be honest though, I still think I prefer it to the original Dragon Age: Origins. Sure it's a little unfinished and broken, it keeps taking you the same dungeons, the world doesn't change despite big time jumps, the story is a mess, every fight throws a second wave of enemies at you etc. But it's better paced and I like hanging out with the characters. Even Merrill.

3 - The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind (PC)
And Morrowind wins! Well it's the highest ranking Elder Scrolls game anyway. I'm sure you were expecting Skyrim to make an appearance, but nope. Not by a long shot.

Personally I enjoyed Skyrim's gameplay more, but Morrowind was a different kind of fun for me. The kind that involved notepads lying everywhere and making room to put the paper map. It's a pain in the ass, you miss more often than you hit, you can't see 3 feet in front of you, the map is tiny, and those bloody cliff racers haunt my nightmares, but I got trapped in the game's atmosphere until I'd earned the title of Nevererarine. Uh, Nerevarerine? Neverine? It was definitely something that sounded like Ner-rev-erine...

Dark Souls staring down the Hellkite dragon
2 - Dark Souls (PC)
A good solid choice for number two. This is exactly the kind of game you'd expect to score high in a popularity contest like this. I didn't like it much myself, but that's not a huge surprise considering it's based around getting good, and I'd rather get it over with. Also boss fights make me crawl up into a ball and cry.

And the #1 most viewed game on my site is...

1 - Doraemon: Nobita no Dorabian Night (TurboGrafx-16)
I... don't even know. I didn't even take particularly good screenshots of the game! Maybe mecha-neko secretly conspired to put an anime cat game on the throne through an extensive guerilla marketing campaign, maybe people just like dinosaurs, I honestly do not know.

But if I'd known that people actually cared maybe I would've done a better job of writing about it!


CONCLUSION

Alright what have I learned from this information? Well no one likes handheld games, so I need to stop writing about them. Only a handful of 16-bit console games made the list, so they're out from now on too. Old computer games are a total waste of my time so no more Amiga and definitely nothing made earlier, and I've already played the only NES game people care about, which is Legend of Zelda.

So from now on you can expect a focus on open world PlayStation dinosaur RPG articles, all written by mecha-neko. Or maybe I'll just play whatever I want like always and let chaos do its thing.

By the way, if you're curious about where your favourite famous game ended up, here's the current placement for 20 of the obvious ones (out of around 1000):



Poor poor Kingdom Hearts, no one loves it. Also Sonic beat Mario! And everyone beat Izzy's Quest for the Olympic Rings.


Remember that ONLY YOU can determine what games make it onto this absolutely pointless list that only I can see, so share the game posts you like, post a link on forums, tell your friends about the site, or just come by every week or so and click on whatever seems interesting.

Plus the comments box stands ready to accept your opinions, wit and wisdom.

13 comments:

  1. I can't wait to see you write more about the Metal Gear Solid series, as it becomes increasingly bonkers the longer it goes on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The trouble with the MGS games is that they become increasingly bonkers during each game, and I usually quit after an hour or so. My MGS2 post would pretty much be about Snake walking around a tanker.

      Delete
    2. That is a fair point. On the other hand, the latest one has a fiery unicorn and a flying whale within the first hour, so that's progress.

      Delete
  2. This was a cool idea, even if it has no real value.

    Hope you can do an article about The Legend of Kyrandia, when you return to graphic adventures =)

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    Replies
    1. I don't own that one, but if that changes I'll definitely consider it. I've written it on the request list to remind me.

      Delete
  3. I don't understand why so many people like Dark Soul
    Personally i prefer Dark Soul II because it is more friendly player than the prequel
    or maybe in entire Dark Soul series

    ReplyDelete
  4. You realize what you started, now you have to do a top 50 worst games list with the least visited pages.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That'd pretty much double as a 'top 50 first games' list, as no one ever finds their way onto my earliest posts. It's like people can sense how badly written and empty they are.

      Delete
  5. Will this article be part of a top-n list in the future?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As soon as I've written up 50 'top 50' articles they're getting ranked (this will never happen).

      I was actually briefly tempted to make a 'top 50 worst games' list based on page views just so I could put the list itself at #1 and then jokingly use it as my justification to stop writing them. But then I didn't do that.

      Delete
  6. Heeey, I'm here to read about old games - the older the better. Sometimes I can't tell whether you're joking or not, so after reading the conclusion to your article here, I felt the need to speak my mind! :P

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad you did, as the more I know about what people want the less I'm working in the dark.

      But yeah, I was joking. Normal service will continue, games will usually be old, dinosaurs will still be infrequent and graphics will be pixelly more often than not.

      Delete
  7. View counts? Smart move, Ray XD
    Doraemon is the winner, now I can die in peace \o/

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