Another
Captain America game! But will this one be any better than
the last?
No, no it won't be. I mean just look at it, there's no way this is going to be any good. It came out in 1989, good DOS games probably hadn't been invented yet.
This time I get comic panels to set the scene... plus the scene afterwards by the look of it. Not really much of a surprise any more.
Okay according to my script... before I can start cowering from fireballs, I have to get shot in the back by a robot guarding the entryway.
Getting shot in the back will be easy, I can't figure out how to turn around. It's hard enough just to get him to walk.
Taste my extendible fist of justice, evil doer! Is this even doing anything? I think his health bar's going down a little.
LATER.
COME ON DIE ALREADY! I've got fireballs to hide from.
Level two looks creepy. I wouldn't have thought Doctor Doom would be into decorating his walls with corpses, but to be honest I don't know much about the guy other than he wears a metal mask, he has a castle, and he dresses like Link from the
Zelda games.
I'm the only person on Earth who thinks this.
Agh, shit, fireballs! I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do here. I tried dodging them and running for the exit, but it won't let me out. Also I didn't exactly 'dodge' them, more like 'shuffled directly into them while occasionally hopping up and down on the spot.'
Eventually I manage to defeat the bouncing fireballs by simply waiting until they got bored of hitting me and fizzled out. I guess I pass the Super Hero Challenge then?
I guess not. Hey, it's a little bouncing robot!
Son of a bitch...
Whoa, shit! Doctor Doom's a bit of a bastard isn't he?
Well that was fucking terrible but I'll give it another go, lest anyone should accuse me of giving up too early.
Hey, I pulled off a shield throw! And to the game's credit it didn't fall down a hole, and I don't even have to go and pick it up afterwards.
This fight went a lot like my first attempt. It'd be fair to say I haven't mastered the controls just yet. Either that, or the game just randomly decides what it wants to do whenever I press the button.
This time I heroically leap over fireballs... actually no I just shuffled into them again, took a lot of damage, then somehow won anyway.
I hate that little hopping robot. Well that's quite enough of that. This game is really bad. I mean it's REALLY bad.
Well actually to be fair it might just be a bad port. This was released on a number of different computers, and I have no idea which is the original game. But I imagine the Amiga version has a good chance of being the best this game ever gets, so I'll check that out.
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| Dr Doom's Revenge (Amiga) |
Well it does look a little better. Shame Cap seems to have forgotten what the main function of a shield is (hint: it's not for throwing).
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| Dr Doom's Revenge (Amiga) |
No no, hit him with your fists. Your FISTS.
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| Dr Doom's Revenge (Amiga) |
Wow, I couldn't even get past the first level this time. I wonder if Spider-Man's having any more luck.
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| Dr Doom's Revenge (Amiga) |
I guess not. Wow that's a pretty pitiful mushroom cloud compared to the one in the DOS game. That was a blinding apocalyptic explosion of light, this is a brain sitting on an ice cream cone sticking out of a pile of cotton wool.
Next game.
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Something about the image of the Statue of Liberty bugged me. She seems to be holding the torch in the wrong hand. And New York isn't in that direction. Dr Doom either blew up Brooklyn or (if it's a reverse angle) he blew up New Jersey. Why would you blow up Brooklyn?
ReplyDeleteApparently the developers were American, so perhaps they just didn't like New York. My hunch is that the game was made by their b-team, because only a few months later Paragon released MegaTraveller, which was way more ambitious.