Return to Monkey Island (PC) - Part 2

This week on Super Adventures, I'm writing a little more about Return to Monkey Island, which is an island I'm not 100% hyped about returning to. Don't get me wrong, I've got a lot of affection toward the Monkey Island games, but Monkey Island itself has never been the highlight of any of them. Plus I doubt I'd find any friendly faces there. I can't remember Guybrush antagonising anyone in particular, but I know what he's like.

I got started with Part I back in Part 1, so now in Part 2 I'm going to see if I can reach Part II. That's as far as I'll be going, I won't be playing through the second chapter. But I feel like I need to at least finish the first chapter to have a proper understanding of how the game is going to play.

That means there will be SPOILERS here for the whole of Part I... which could be a third of the entire game. I won't be giving away anything that happens beyond that point however, especially not the controversial ending, as I have no idea what it is.

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Hey, that's clever. When you come back to the game after a break the game gives you a little (optional) recap to remind you of what happened. It's a bit like the note you get on your save games in Tales of Monkey Island.

Previously, in Return to Monkey Island:

Deep in the Caribbean, on Mêlée Island, Guybrush Threepwood's undead nemesis LeChuck is getting his ship ready so he can sail off and find the true Secret of Monkey Island. Guybrush tried to get his own expedition going to get there first, but the obnoxious new pirate leaders told him to go sling his hook so now he has to get a ship by alternative means. Somehow.

So far he has mostly just been walking to every building in Mêlée Town and chatting to whoever's there. Though his latest stop, the Governor's Mansion, has put him face to face with perhaps his most skilled opponent...

It's Carla, the Sword Master!

She's the current governor of Mêlée Island so I shouldn't have been completely surprised that bursting into the Governor's Mansion would lead to a fight. Though it's not actually a real duel as the two of them just like to fence while chatting. I always appreciate that even though Guybrush is kind of an inept underdog who succeeds due to his resourcefulness and persistence, the games always acknowledge that the guy's actually a badass with a blade.

I also like that I was able to bring up how I got Carla a cushy government job in Escape from Monkey Island, even if she thinks I'm trying to take credit for her rise to power. I'm actually a little disappointed though, as I thought this whole conversation would be made of clever retorts. Instead they drop the cutting wit almost immediately and move on to chatting about the island's current financial issues. It turns out that pirate leader Captain Madison offered them a loan back when they needed it, and now she's demanding interest.

Man, this place brings back memories. I still recall the time I was thrown through the window in that door up there.

The Secret of Monkey Island (MS-DOS)

It's a bit of a shame that they got rid of the fancy wallpaper. Though they did keep the library. In fact these are exactly the same books in both screenshots, as Carla got the contents of the bookshelves when she took over from Elaine.

I have a feeling that one book in particular will be absolutely crucial to my plans, but I don't know which, and she's not letting me borrow any. She still hasn't forgiven me for the last time I took one of her books and never gave it back.

Though she did at least let me have a stuffed toy someone gave her as a gift, so that will surely come in useful.

Damn, there's a shortcut beside the mansion that takes me straight to the island map! Man where was this when I needed it in the original game? I spent so much time walking from the lookout, to the docks, to the town, to the mansion and then back. Now I can go to any of them directly and that's going to save me a lot of time.

The Secret of Monkey Island (MS-DOS)

Here's what the map looked like in the VGA version of the original game. It's clearly the same layout, though some of the locations are missing in Return. I can't go to Meathook's island, Captain Smirk's gym, or the circus. And Stan's sign with the outline of a boat is gone!

Escape from Monkey Island (PC)

Here's what the map looked like in Escape if you're curious. It's like the designers thought "We can't have roads leading nowhere!" and moved locations to the end of them, while Return is more concerned with being faithful and doesn't mind leaving a few dead ends. I know which I prefer.

Okay, I've got a few places to visit and there's no reason I shouldn't check out the forest first.

Hey, this used to be Carla's place!

It seems that when she moved out to become Governor, the Museum of Pirate Lore moved in. It's kind of funny that Carla was so worried about becoming a tourist attraction that she chose to live in the most hidden and inaccessible part of the island, then afterwards someone thought her house would be a great place for a tourist attraction. Okay Guybrush stumbled across the place immediately, but that's only because he remembered where it was from the other game.

There's also a path here leading deeper into the forest, but I already know that there's no point going in there without a map. I found some directions back in the first game that led me to the Legendary Lost "Treasure" of Mêlée Island, but I can't fund an expedition with a t-shirt.

Well I went into the forest maze anyway and I got two things out of it: I got descriptions of flowers, and I got hopelessly lost. I guess every Monkey Island has to throw in a maze puzzle eventually.

Though the music's also very familiar and it's nice to hear new versions of the old tunes. It really is like coming back home after years and finding that things haven't changed that much.

Though things have definitely changed. TAN's Previously Owned Vessels is now derelict and abandoned, its office boarded up. All Guybrush can do here right now is remember happier days. Also I picked up a sponge... but not the bucket next to it. Too rusty I suppose.

I'd be more bothered about the depressing state of this place if Stan didn't set up somewhere new in every game. In LeChuck's Revenge he was selling coffins on Booty Island, until I sealed him inside one. In Curse I let him back out inside a crypt on Blood Island, where he started selling life insurance. Then I found him again on Jambalaya Island. Basically wherever I go, he's always there already. And he somehow doesn't hold a grudge.

Okay, I have no bloody idea what I'm supposed to do with a stuffed toy and a sponge, so I'm going to go walk straight up to LeChuck's ship. It might seem like a bad idea, seeing as he's my arch nemesis and would try to put me in a horrible death trap on sight, but it's also my only idea.

It seems like getting onto LeChuck's ship is definitely a possibility, as there's a position open for swabbie and they're even hiring the living.

Actually there are plenty of other positions open too, but Guybrush doesn't qualify for any of them, as despite being a legit pirate captain on several occasions he doesn't know what a second mate does. So it's swabbie or nothing, and I'll need to bring my own mop.

Unfortunately the quartermaster has clocked onto the fact that the stranger in front of her may be the infamous Guybrush Threepwood, LeChuck's greatest enemy. She's been given a picture of him so she knew who to look out for and LeChuck's so obsessed that I bet he drew it himself.

Boybrush is a bit confused about Guybrush trying to get onto LeChuck's ship when he was supposed to be getting his own one, so he explains that he was getting his own one, complete with crew! All he had to do was get onboard and seize the vessel single-handedly.

So now I have two objectives: get a disguise and get a mop. That's one of Ron Gilbert's rules of puzzle design: give the player multiple things to do, so if they get stuck on one thing they can go try the other one instead. Unfortunately I'm still in the same situation as before, only this time I have no ideas.

Oh damn, the Voodoo Lady is out and about with some other character I don't know. I'm not sure I've ever seen her leave her shop before.

I hope Wally doesn't sell them out to Madison, as he's always been a nice guy in the past. Sure there was that time he joined LeChuck's crew and helped him attack my wife's fortress, but he was a little bit brainwashed at the time.

Right, I'm going to do a second lap of the island and see if there's anything I missed, because I don't know what else to do. Maybe I'll find something I can use my sponge or stuffed toy on.

Hey I found a trivia card book in the Scumm Bar! It seems that I'll be collecting cards throughout the game with each one having a trivia quiz. I know the answer to this one. In the back of the Scumm Bar is... the kitchen.

Yep, I was right. My reward: absolutely nothing. It still more fun than collecting dust in Thimbleweed Park though.

Whoa, it's Cobb! Was he here the last time I came in?

Nope, it seems like triggering the scene with the Voodoo Lady walking by has caused some changes in the world. That's not something I could've figured out logically, though 'go to all the locations' isn't exactly an unreasonable thing to expect an adventure game player to do.

The Secret of Monkey Island (MS-DOS)

Cobb was actually a character from the Lucasfilm adventure Loom, who was only here to advertise his game and had no interest in anything else. But it's been years now and you can only maintain an obsessive focus on one adventure game from 1990 for so long.

He's even added a little thing to his 'ASK ME ABOUT LOOM' badge saying "DON'T". He'd take it off, except it became fused with his body over the years. So it doesn't seem likely that I'll get him to say the line.

I finally got him to say the line! Though the game's still not doing the ™ joke after words anymore.

Alright, talking to Cobb didn't get me anywhere, so what else is there to do in here? Everyone else just wants me to stop bothering them, I can't pick up any of the mugs, and the dog isn't around to talk to. Hang on, my brain's just woken up. In the back of the Scumm Bar is... the kitchen!

In Monkey Island 1 I had to wait for the chef to come out before I could sneak in there, but maybe I can just open the door and go in.

Oh damn, the chef knows Guybrush now and he doesn't mind him walking in here anymore. In fact, they're actually having a conversation, which is new. Everything really does change.

The game's streamlined interface is making it very obvious that there's not much I can do in here except examine the gross food and the wooden seagull statue outside... though there is that mop in the corner.

The chef speaks about his mop as if it's a lightsaber, saying that everyone must construct their own one. They must go on a personal journey and find a special kind of wood for the handle, it's very important. What you use for the head doesn't matter though, just throw anything onto it, it's fine.

Well I have more of an idea of how to get a mop but not where to look for the wood. Do I have anything in my inventory that will help? Back in the olden days I'd be trying to use all my items on all my other items at this point, but there's not much I can do with a sponge and a stuffed toy. Though there is something else in my box I could use: the hint book.

It's a little book of spoilers for all the things I'm currently stuck on.

I should probably try using it, just to see what kind of hints it gives. Maybe it starts out vague and then I can ask it for more help. Maybe it's just a link to an online walkthrough. But if I open the hint book, that means I didn't work the puzzles out for myself, and I can't ever undo that. I'll always know that I didn't work it all out for myself.

It's bloody tempting though.

I'm wondering if this graffiti I keep seeing around town is part of the puzzle. I mean most graffiti tends to involve words, not strange symbols. See, this is how stuck I am right now, I'm trying to find meaning in the walls.

Oh hey, the shop's open, so I can go visit Wally again now! Will Wally even want to talk to Guybrush though? It's been so long since I've played the earlier games that I can't remember if the two had any other adventures after Guybrush stole his monocle, got him chained up over acid, destroyed his self-respect, and then blew up the boat he was on with a voodoo cannonball.

Hmm, I don't remember marooning him.

Anyway, the important thing is that he's been through therapy and he forgives me now. Oooh is that another monocle I can steal?

I used the "look behind you, a three headed monkey" line to swipe his monocle again, but he said I can just take it, as he gives them away to promote his shop. It seems to be working, as his cartography business is thriving while everything else in Mêlée Town is collapsing around him. Captain Madison really did a number on this island. Also I think age might have done a number on Wally's voice, as the guy is sounding older than I remember.

WAIT! I was looking for a magnifying glass so I can see the tiny serial number on the lock for Otis' cell. Now I know what I'm doing. Also Wally says that he can make a map to the mop tree if I bring a sample of the wood. This shit is getting kind of weird. I just want a regular mop!

Then there's an interlude, like in the first game, showing what LeChuck's up to. He freaks out a bit when hears that Guybrush Threepwood tried sneaking aboard his ship and tells his men to kill him.

But then he changes his mind and decides that he wants Guybrush to live and feel despair as his own ship sails off to discover the secret before him. Though I still think it's strange that there are secrets left for him to find on Monkey Island. He used to dock his ship in the river underneath the Giant Monkey Head statue. He once fought the Giant Monkey Robot hidden within the Giant Monkey Head in Monkey Kombat. He found the portal to Hell and built a theme park around it.

But I guess there could still be one more secret.

Alright, I used the monocle with the lock on Otis' cell to get its serial number and then took it to Locke so she could make me a key to open it. She noticed it was the same model of lock they use over at the jail... and she's impressed, those are really sturdy.

Money didn't even enter the conversation, there's no puzzle to solve there, so either it's a free key or Guybrush is paying for it automatically out of the coin purse he has on him.

Alright, now I can use the key on the cell and let Otis out. I tried letting Stan out as well, but he turned the offer down. He thinks it'll hurt his case if he breaks out of prison, and yeah I can see how that could look bad to the judge.

You know, it's just occurred to me that I have no idea what letting Otis out got me. I'm used to completing every task I can find in an adventure game without questioning if it'll lead to anything useful, and right now I'm thinking maybe this didn't.

At least I found another trivia card.

Of course I know what the dog in the Scumm Bar is called!

I like getting these questions right. It's a much more satisfying than getting it wrong and seeing a big black X appear.

Well now I'm stuck again. I know that I need to borrow one of the books from Carla and get a sample of special wood so Wally can make me a map to the mop tree, but she still won't forgive me and I've had no success picking up anything wooden. I'll head back to the forest next, maybe there's something I missed there.

Hey I can go into that museum in the Sword Master's old house now! I guess seeing the curator walking by with the Voodoo Lady earlier could've been a clue, but I didn't know who he was back then.

It turns out that this is a bit of a Monkey Island museum, filled with old-timey pirate artefacts from the earlier games, and Guybrush is happy give the guy some spoilers about what really happened. (It's fine, the game puts a SPOILER ALERT on screen to give you a warning). But the guy isn't all that impressed by this stranger coming in and claiming that he's been at the centre of every pirate legend.

Well, not every legend. Guybrush never had anything to do with the magic eyepatch of Jon Laney that can disguise your appearance. Though the legendary eyepatch itself is locked in that display case right there... oh I think I know what I'm here to do now

Hang on, I saw a book about Laney in the Governor's Mansion! Maybe that's the one I need to borrow. First though I need to get this lock open and my monocle just doesn't have the magnification to read the serial number this time.

The curator let me just stroll into his storeroom and I'm starting to see why he wasn't bothered. They paid an artist to paint this whole background just for one box of cracker mix?

Anyway I'm going to nick it, because I feel like I'm going to have to bribe the guard parrot to let me steal the eyepatch. Man, this curator is going to be psyched when he realises he's been part of an actual Guybrush Threepwood caper. He can put the display case itself on display.

Well, now I've got cracker mix, but nothing to mix with it. I guess I'm looking for water? Where would I find that on an island?

That's... great. Nice chatting to you.

I had the brilliant idea of asking the locksmith to make me another key so I could swipe her book while her back was turned and then take it to Carla to make her forgive me. It didn't work. I couldn't swipe her parrot-distracting crackers either. They're just sitting there on the desk, taunting me.

But then I had another brilliant idea: check the Voodoo Lady's shop again.

It's a good thing I came back here as there's bunch of stuff on sale I didn't notice the first time. Like there's a disgusting shrunken head with long white hair, so there's the head of the mop sorted out at least. I also bought a knife and a forgiveness frog, so I'm basically solving all my problems with shopping.

Unfortunately I can't use the knife on the chef's mop to get a sample of wood while he's looking at it and I doubt that it's possible to distract him, as then I could just walk off with the whole mop. I tried cutting all the other wooden objects in the game but I just got a big 🚫 when I dragged the knife over them which indicates it's not going to work. I suppose that's better than having to hear a voice clip saying "I don't think that'll work" over and over.

At least I can give the forgiveness frog to Carla to make her forgive me and lend me a book! Or at least, that's a thing I could do if she didn't immediately reject it. She reckons that if I actually cared I would've at least written a nice message on the frog's back!

Man, do I have to keep paying for my past crimes forever? I bet she doesn't even really care about these books, she's a Sword Master, not a Book Master.

The Secret of Monkey Island (MS-DOS)

Oh, hang on, Carla does actually like reading books, I recall that now.

Fortunately I read too, mostly descriptions of the items I see around the island, like Carla's re-election poster and her statue, and I recall them too. That means I already know enough about her to craft the perfect apology!

Alright, I have successfully convinced Carla to let me borrow the The Autobiography of Jon Laney... and this hasn't helped me at all! Why is it that every puzzle I solve leads to a dead end?

Man, I wish I had someone to ask for hints who wasn't a literal hint book. I just need a little extra guidance, a direction to head in. Because the TODO list is only telling me things I already know.

Hey the doodles on this TODO list are different to Boybrush's list in the prologue.

To get past the Quartermaster I need a disguise. A magic disguise eyepatch would solve that problem, but to get into its display case I need a magnifying device powerful enough to see the the tiny serial code and some crackers to distract the parrot alarm. I have cracker mix and there's a plate of crackers in the Locksmiths.

To make a mop I need a sample of wood to give to Wally so that he can make me a map to the mop tree. I've been using the knife on every wooden object in the game with no success. I am stuck.

Hey someone threw something out of the Scumm Bar as I was making another lap around every damn location on this island. It's nice that there's a bit of random life to make the world feel less empty.

Hang on, there's a guy in the Scumm Bar I don't remember seeing before. Is the game altering locations I've already visited when I complete puzzles elsewhere? Because that doesn't seem fair!

This guy wants a meal he had at the Governor's Mansion a while back but all he remembers about it is that it had ingredients in it. The Scumm Bar chef says it's probably something exotic from a swanky cookbook.

COOKBOOK! Man, the game just handed me that solution.

I borrowed the cookbook from Carla's mansion and then cut some wood off the chef's mop while he was distracted with his cooking. Now I can bring the wood to Wally and he can make a map.

He's put a second monocle down? Okay the game's just taking the piss now.

The solution to all my problems is always 'go around the whole island again, and the answer will appear'. With two monocles I now have enough magnification to see the serial number on the magic disguise eyepatch display case and swipe that. Well, as soon as I've dealt with the alarm parrot.

First though, I'm heading to the forest maze with all the interesting flowers in it to find the mop tree.

Okay, the map Wally gave me is pretty easy to read. Every time I enter a new screen full of trees I check the map and choose the appropriate exit. First 'right', then 'up', then 'right', and so on.

So why isn't it working?

Is the game bugged? Did I make a mistake and choose a wrong exit along the way? Is Wally just bad at making maps? He's certainly bad at drawing trees, though he did put a lot of effort into the plants.

THE PLANTS! Okay, okay, I've got it, it's the plants I should be following. I am back on track. Also this is a damn weird map and Wally clearly has some hatred toward me left to work out in therapy.

Success!

It's so nice to actually make some progress. Alright I think I know what to do from here. Time to make a mop.

ONE CUTSCENE LATER

Holy shit... that last cutscene. Guybrush, man, why?

Okay let's just say that I found the mop tree and got myself a mop handle, and leave it at that. I don't think there were any deaths and there were no witnesses, so we can just... move onto the next problem.

The next problem is that I need this parrot to stop freaking out like an alarm system when I go to swipe the eyepatch, as the alarmed curator always comes over and puts it some place safe. What's frustrating is that the game gives me a few seconds to make a move before I'm booted out and the shop is reset, but I don't know what it wants me to do here! I tried three or four times and gave up, because trial and error is less fun when you have to wait a bit each time.

If I could only find water for the cracker mix. Wherever I go there are docks and rivers and barrels and mop buckets, but my mix must forever be dry.

I'm so desperate at this point that I'm up to "Try items on burning fire", and the scary thing is it's working. I know that Lucasfilm adventures don't let you get stuck, but I've successfully burned my stuffed toy, my tangled string and my sponge and now they're just... gone? Is this just a red herring disposal device? Am I supposed to be making the fire hotter?

Incidentally the fire is already so hot that Guybrush is wondering how long he'd have to stand there before he bursts into flames and now I want to look up if that's possible. In my heart I know that the answer is... yes. Lucasfilm adventures don't let you die, unless you really really work at it.

I went to the Voodoo Lady and she told me that the modern pirates are using dark magic, which is distinct from voodoo and uses runes. Hey, I've been seeing them all over town! She also told me her first name after 32 years, which is crazy. I guess if anyone is allowed to give away the Voodoo Lady's name it's Ron Gilbert.

Alright, I need to think this through. How do I get the water for this damn cracker mix? There's an obvious leak in the prison, but I need a container. The melted grog mug at the museum? No, that's melted.

Oh I just gave the cracker mix to Locke and she gave me a plate of crackers in exchange.

Did I miss some dialogue or something? How does this make any sense? I mean okay the person with a parrot wanting more parrot food isn't too strange, but she has crackers already! How was I supposed to think of this?

I went back to the museum, fed the alarm parrot a cracker, and the magic disguise eyepatch theft went off without a hitch. Then I took it to the Voodoo Lady for a magical recharge and she asked for "the bite of a thousand needles". Not a problem, I've been seeing those plants all over the forest!

Alright now I have a zombie disguise and a mop, which means I'm finally able to get on board LeChuck's ship!

Oh, I found out what those other items I threw in the fire were for by the way. They're all alternative heads that you can put onto the mop handle. I just assumed that the grossest one was the only solution, because I've played Monkey Island games before. At least I got this bit of unique dialogue out of it!

And I just completed the whole of Part I without using a single hint! That's it then, I'm done.

Wait, I forgot to see how it plays with a controller. The last two Monkey Island games sacrificed mouse controls in order to work better on gamepads, so is the opposite true for this?

PART II: A DANGEROUS JOURNEY

Actually this has very good controller support as well. You control Guybrush directly and as you walk around nearby objects are marked with circles. You pick which circle you want to interact with and press the appropriate button to look or use. Please, someone send this game back in time to 1998, designers there need to know that this is how it's done!

Though this puzzle sucks. My genius solution to get out didn't work and I was on the verge of giving up and finally using my first hint when I realised that I'd actually gotten it right. I just had to repeat what I did three times! C'mon Return, why you gotta be like this? Is it because I'm playing on Hard Mode?

Alright I said I'd turn this off after finishing Part I, so I'll be doing that now.


CONCLUSION

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Holy crap it's a new Monkey Island game by the people that made Monkey Island and it actually feels like proper Monkey Island! Well, mostly.

The locations might be familiar (so far), but the art style is brand new. It looks a bit like a storybook with some occasional close-up grossness for the kids. Not that I need to tell you that, you just scrolled past 30 screenshots of it. It's not my favourite of the series' many different looks, but whatever's going on with the faces here is way better than whatever was going on with the hair in Secret of Monkey Island: Special Edition, and I'd rather explore this version of the Mêlée Island than the semi-charmless soulless 3D-rendered plastic-looking bizarro version in Escape from Monkey Island. The animation's also expressive enough to get the job done and once I saw the game in motion I was sold.

I couldn't get any screenshots of the soundtrack, but it also returns to familiar places. I guess when you've got themes as iconic as Monkey Island's it'd be a crime not to use them and I'm definitely not complaining.

Speaking of themes, I've sensed that the game's gone a bit meta with the idea of a older Guybrush trying to relive the glory days in a world where everyone expects so much more. The next generation of pirate leaders aren't impressed with his accomplishments, his own museum doesn't recognise him, and it's all starting to seem a bit sad. And this is in the flashback to when he was younger! The framing device is about Dadbrush being nostalgic about a time when he was nostalgic about another time.

Thankfully the series itself has moved with the times, as for the first time since 1997 it has an interface that doesn't suck. The very normal, industry-standard point-and-click interface is a damn relief, and it doesn't matter if you're using a mouse or a controller, the game plays just fine. All the frustration and awkwardness comes from the puzzles themselves. I don't know what the rest of the game is like, but Part I likes to change parts of the world after you've completed an unrelated task, with clues like people walking by talking or something getting thrown out of a window to get you to investigate. Wally returns to his shop, the museum opens, the guy appears in the Scumm Bar etc., and before this happens you can't solve the associated puzzles. You can definitely get frustrated trying though. On the plus side, the puzzles in the other Monkey Island games could be just as annoying in their own ways, so this fits right in! It's very nostalgic frustration.

Plus the game's funny! Sometimes. Not all the time. But even if the conversations don't always have the wit I crave, the voice acting is always solid, and it's nice to catch up with people I haven't screwed over for years. Find out what jail cell they're hanging out in these days. The cast isn't entirely limited to folks from the first two games either.

This is the point where I say if the game's good or not, even though I've only been playing for a couple of hours and have only seen a fraction of it. But I won't be doing that this time. This is a story-driven game featuring a protagonist I care about by a creator who loves his weird endings, and I don't know how it ends. I've played Thimbleweed Park, I know how these things go. I could reach the end of this game and come away hating it. So I won't be giving it a star or a trophy, because until the credits roll it's too early to say what I think.

But so far at its worst it's been better than something like Dark Seed and at its best it's been worse than Day of the Tentacle. There's been a lot to like about it.

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Thanks for reading!

Hey, while you're here why not try to guess what the next game will be? Or if it's been guessed already, you could leave a comment with your own thoughts about Return to Monkey Island. Just, please don't spoil anything beyond where I played up to, as I'll be coming back to the game someday and other people are going to be reading the comments too.