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Wednesday, 16 February 2011

Syd of Valis (Genesis/Mega Drive)

It's called Valis SD in Japan, as in 'super deformed', but apparently it was mistranslated. Either that or they really liked the name 'Syd' as they changed the character's name to it too.

 An ice cream eating game, this is more like it!

 OH NO, it's a blinged out demon cyber samurai! And he's laughing at me.

 They chat for a bit, but our blue haired heroine doesn't like anything she's hearing.

Let's see how he likes ice cream to the face.

 SWORD flavour!

Our hero is probably some kind of highly trained super powered warrior, but she does like to stand and look oblivious when danger strikes. Then again she's probably just laughing at his pink sword.

Here's some more bad game design. When I run to the right, the camera is a bit slow to catch up, leaving my character up at the edge of the screen with no time to react to anything. So I have to edge forwards slowly, holding down the fire button to shoot enemies with my sword.

Yes my sword is a gun, deal with it.

These guys are so annoying to hit, quickly bouncing around and spamming red balls of death at you. Their one weakness: they love having photos taken. I was able to sit here completely unharmed taking screenshots until I got one I liked, they just posed for the camera and danced around a bit.

Oh c'mon, a dead end? Don't tell me I have to backtrack and get climbing equipment like in Quackshot. Or maybe I have to hold the run button to jump extra high like in Smurfs 2. Do I have a grappling line like in Phantom 2040?

Oh wait... I got DOUBLE JUMP! I love double jump.

This is a really annoying swoopy boss. Look how much of the screen it takes up, and it's always diving around and shooting you. I'm not even sure how I beat it in the end... wait, why does Syd's sprite have a line across her eye?

Yatta! For my glorious victory I was rewarded with upgraded firepower and new armour.

Excellent! Body armour seems suspiciously sensible for a game starring super-powered schoolgirls swinging swords that shoot shit, but I'm not complaining. With any luck it might even show up on the sprite.

That's not armour, that's a dress. I was probably better off in the school girl outfit. But whatever, it's not a bad dress I guess. Onto level two!

Oh come on, that wasn't a full level, why do I gotta fight another boss already? I hate boss fights.

WHAT? Two boss fights back to back? This one is so hard I thought I was supposed to lose at first. All my attacks barely graze the guy, it took several hits just to knock one of his hitpoints down. I think that's quite enough of that.

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