It's a game
based on a television series, how bad can it be?
Mr Sulu, set a course for adventure, warp factor 3.
WHAT THE F... oh, sorry, uh. Okay, lets do that then.
Damn! What's wrong with the faces in this game? Yeah whatever, assistance, got it. Mr Sulu, set a course for assistance!
I have to remember the destination and put it in myself? What the hell do I hire you for then Sulu? Man it's a good thing I took that other screenshot.
TIME PASSES.
Captains Log: We are at a planet. Under the assumption that it's the planet we're supposed to be at I have ordered people to go down and assist in doing whatever we were asked to do in that message I didn't pay attention to.
Wow, the galaxy is truly in safe hands.
I picked one of each colour just to be sure. The red one will act as a diversion, drawing away enemies and triggering death traps, while the other two take care of solving the mystery of the week.
On the planet we encounter a truly terrible section of gameplay where we're supposed to chase down and shoot people. The movement is really awkward, and enemies take way too much to kill. I guess phaser beams don't show up on screenshots, because I was holding that damn button down the whole time hoping he'd wander into the beam. And look at Ensign Redshirt over in the corner facing the wrong direction. He was no use at all.
Aww, they murdered my robot. He was in charge so now we're going to have to repeat the level again. When characters are killed or wounded, they just sit down. And does Ensign Redshirt have his ARMS CROSSED there? Man that guy had better step on an alien landmine or something soon.
Anyway, we flicked a lever, and made a bunch of enemies sit down, and that is apparently all the assistance required, so... onwards to the next mission!
Admiral Baldwin you're creeping me out with your creepy face so I'll have to call you back. Also, for future reference, next time you phone all I need are two facts: Where to go, and who to kill.
Space elf! Personally, I don't believe him, but I'm in a bit of a hurry so...
Wait, he's shooting me! Where's the guns? How do I raise shields?
Actually screw that, how do we stop the ship exploding??? You rotate around the bridge to select each station as you need it, and unfortunately you're the only one running the whole ship, so you have to keep moving.
Okay, sliders, now we're talking! If I redirect the blue lines to the pink lines I should be able to...
Wow, even the Enterprise just sits down when it's killed.
Oh dear!
ReplyDeleteMr. Sulu???? And why does the faces looks like this? Its Pixelart! Man, you got a lot to learn befor you write things like this!
Yeah, looking back this post wasn't so great, but I'm learning as I go (hopefully) and criticism definitely helps with that.
DeleteThough then again you can only see the back of the guy's head, so how can you prove it ISN'T a guy called Sulu? There must be hundreds of Sulus working in Starfleet!