Tom and Jerry 3 (NES)

This one was a request. I've already played Tom & Jerry 1 on the NES, but I'm skipping 2 because, well, there wasn't a second game. In fact there wasn't a Tom & Jerry 3 either; this was an unlicensed bootleg cart.

Damn, is he lighting up a smoke? You're setting a terrible example for the kids there Tom.

The game starts with Jerry falling from the night sky into a row of floating beer cans. No explanation, he just is.

The gameplay isn't that different to the real Tom & Jerry NES game, with Jerry able to attack enemies by throwing infinite marbles their way until they explode. Though Jerry's movement is a bit awkward and jerky, and the game's far less slick in general.

Crap, I just lost a heart. I must have gotten caught by the steam coming out of that... drainpipe?

Jerry's walking speed is incredibly slow, but it actually suits the atmosphere created by the bleak abstract visuals and the hypnotic melancholy music (youtube link). It's like I'm lost in one of Jerry's nightmares.

I can run by holding down on the d-pad though. A panicked run through the crumbling ruins of a dystopian world filled with purple frogs and floating beer.

Oh, so these blue bricks are ledges? I thought they were just part of the background. Well this works out for me, I can sit up here in total safety while I rain marble death down upon my froggy foes. Fortunately in this game they don't respawn, so I can get rid of them all then hunt for beer in peace.

Damn, it seems I must have lost a life at some point. I guess when I run out of hearts it just subtracts one from the lives counter and I get a refill. Makes me wonder why they didn't just give me twelve hearts.

No... no don't tell me we're going down into the sewers. I'm a mouse, not a rat.

Uh, I guess we're not actually. Jerry refuses to crawl any further. The NES doesn't have that many buttons and I'm pressing them every way I can think of. The guy just doesn't want to go down that sewer tunnel, and who can blame him? Who the hell puts a sewer level in the first level of a game anyway?


A FEW MINUTES LATER.

I went back down the street and jumped everywhere I could reach, there's nothing else up there and no other passages leading underground. So this MUST be the right way to go, but how the hell do I go through it?

Uh, maybe the game didn't load right or something. I'll try resetting it and starting again.

Look at that dirty bastard, laughing at me just cause I can't climb into a sewer.


25 MINUTES LATER. SERIOUSLY.

Down and the tap A button. That's how you make Jerry crawl. Took me a while but I figured it out in the end. I am truly a master at games.

Sewer crabs, I hate these guys. What is it with Tom & Jerry games and crabs anyway? Was there a cartoon I missed where Jerry has to fight them off with marbles?

It seems that they've installed anti-trespasser security spikes and maintenance access springs down here, so I need to be careful.

Crap, I slipped into an instakill spike pit. Actually it didn't just kill Jerry, it dragged him into the ground, with him struggling wildly to pull himself back up in vain.

Well at least now I know why he has lives.


SOON.

The cat's enjoying this isn't he? Running out of lives means I have to start again from the beginning. I've got (possibly infinite) continues, but they're not much good to me when I'm still on the first level.

Oh come on, he can't survive a couple of inches of water? You can tell I actually made it across too. I guess I was just a pixel or two short by their reckoning.

Just like in the SNES Tom and Jerry game, hitting small enemies can be a problem. In fact hitting anything can be a problem, as sometimes the marbles will just fly right through them. At least in the crappy SNES game I could just jump on the things to kill them.


A WHILE LATER.

Awesome, I finally made it over the damn water! I tried doing a running leap a few times, but in the end I had to shuffle right up to the edge of the wall and jump from where I was standing.

So does a purple arrow mean I'm finally done with this level?

Nope, the purple arrow means I'm taking a dip in the sewage. But it's okay, it's not instant death sewage like that puddle on the right of the screen I had so much trouble jumping over!

Crap, this isn't good. If I can just float here for a few more seconds hopefully they'll turn around and continue their patrol back the way they came. They're not smart creatures, and I don't think any of them are actually deliberately coming after me.

Well I'm down to Jerry's final life again, I'm doing a terrible job of dodging these creatures. But at least I've found a key! I guess.

Oh shit, it's a sign saying I NEED a key. Come on don't make me backtrack, I've only got two hearts left. It'll take me one of them just to make it past these squid.

I went off exploring for the key, but I didn't last 30 seconds. Damn there's a lot of wildlife living in these sewers. Crabs, turtles, squid and spikes... I didn't stand a chance. And there's no way I'm playing all that again from the start.


You know, this isn't actually the worst game I've played for the site so far, but I definitely wouldn't recommend it to anyone. Borderline playable is perhaps a good way to describe it. There seems to be enough of it functioning to progress through it, but you probably wouldn't want to.