Constantine (PS2)

Developer:

Bits

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Release Date:

2005

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Systems:

PS2, Xbox, Windows

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This week on Super Adventures, it's the final game of Keanu Reeves week: Constantine, based on the 2005 movie of the same name, based on the comic Hellblazer.

I always forget how to pronounce the name 'Constantine', and it doesn't help that it's always changing. The star of the comics, a blonde anti-hero warlock Scouser from Liverpool, England, would pronounce his name to rhyme with 'wine', but the dark-haired American Keanu Reeves version has a name that rhymes with 'keen', and so does this game. (The TV series DC's Legends of Tomorrow splits the difference, making him blonde Liverpudlian who pronounces his name the American way).

Funnily enough, the game's developer, Bits Studios, was English, so a British studio made a game based on an American reimagining of a British character. Bits worked on a lot of licenced games actually, like Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, Terminator 2, Last Action Hero, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, Alien³, and Die Hard: Vendetta. Unfortunately Constantine was their last, as they only got to make one more game before their assets were sold off and that was Payout Poker & Casino on the PSP.

Anyway, I'm only going to be playing the PlayStation 2 version of the game, but I've given the Xbox and PC versions a quick glance and they seem to be more or less the same thing. It really was just a glance though, so I could be way wrong there. The game's also going to have similarities to the movie, so be warned about SPOILERS.

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LEVEL 1: HELLBLAZER

The game asked me to pick my controller style and difficulty, then dropped me into this rendered intro cutscene.

It's just another typical day at work for John Constantine, as he performs an exorcism on a young woman tied to a bed. The guy's always dealing with demons, of one kind or another, in one way or another. In fact this is very similar to a scene at the beginning of the movie.

Constantine movie

Actually hang on, this is exactly the scene at the beginning of the movie! They've gone and recreated it all in CGI, with a digital Keanu.

Oh by the way, the game features the voice talents of Tilda Swinton, Gavin Rossdale and Max Baker, reprising their roles from the film. It does not feature Keanu Reeves or Shia LaBeouf though, as they've gone with a cheaper Keanu impersonator for his lines. In fact Shia LaBeouf's entire character seems to be missing, as the movie version cuts to him waiting in the car here, but the game skips right over it.

Constantine movie

Constantine smashes the window and gets the neighbours to hang a mirror overhead by a rope, which they do very quickly, somehow, without any arguments about the best way to get it done.

The plan is to get the demon possessing the girl trapped in the mirror as a prisoner of its own vanity. Once it's there Constantine will be able to flip it the bird, which is an important part of any exorcism process.

Constantine movie

Though Constantine's CGI face here makes me feel like I'm actually playing a Deadly Premonition game.

They cut another shot here, of one of the people holding the mirror opening their eyes during the process and seeing shit that turns their hair white.

Constantine movie

Okay, now that the demon's stuck in the mirror, step two is to get the mirror out of the window using their improvised pulley system before it can punch its way out of the glass. Unfortunately the mirror is wider than the window frame and I guess they can't tilt it away from the girl without losing her reflection, so Constantine tries a brute force solution. He's a very practical magician.

Constantine movie

The mirror finally goes out the window, landing on his friend's taxi just some taxi in the street and shattering. I guess when the demon breaks the glass from his side that's bad, but when it's broken on our side then it's good. If it made sense it wouldn't be magic!

Both versions of the exorcism start with Constantine leaving a lit cigarette on a table before getting to work, and when he goes back to it afterwards it's pretty much gone. But the video game version of the scene has been trimmed a little, so he gets back to his ciggie sooner, picks it up and just carries on smoking! Though this does lead to him missing a clue he found in the movie: the girl's picture of a mysterious blade.

The road to salvation begins tonight. Right now.

Also this text didn't come up on screen in the movie. In fact the game's diverging quite a bit now. It cuts to Constantine's place, with the camera right up close to a letter revealing to him (and us) that he's dying from terminal lung cancer due to all the smoking. It's a popular plot that one, as it's in the comic, the movie, the game of the movie, and his current TV show.

Constantine's chatting to a guy from the movie called Beeman, who's very insistent that he hurries up. It doesn't seem like they're planning to let me in on what they're talking about though. All I know is that Constantine hates going 'there', Beeman's missing a piece of whatever it is he's holding, and we have to go stand in some water.

See, my objective is to literally 'step into the water'! It's a bit of a gloomy place though, so I'm struggling to spot the water.

I found a record player though, and pressed X to listen to some music. Everything was going well until I left Constantine standing idle for too long and he started coughing. Then he lit up another cigarette! The game doesn't endorse smoking but it sure features a lot of it.

Mostly what it's endorsing right now is for me to get in the water and start the incantation already. Beeman is weirdly insistent about it, considering that the game's given me this whole room to explore.

Oh there you go, I've found the water. You should try to avoid spilling water all over your floors by the way, it doesn't generally do them any good.

You know, I think this guy does actually have a decent resemblance to the bloke in the movie. It's a bit of a shame that the movie version doesn't have much of a resemblance to the comic version, but hey I like dark-haired, black coat American Constantine too. Even though it means my character looks like they've attached Keanu Reeves' head to Max Payne's body.

ALRIGHT, I GET THE HINT BEEMAN, YOU CAN STOP TELLING ME TO GO STEP IN THE WATER NOW! Bloody hell, you'd think the fate of the world was at stake or something.

I grabbed the ammo from on top of the chest of drawers and started my spell.

Oh, it's basically a quick time event. I have to press each button that flashes up until the magic is done.

Then the camera zooms into his eyes and when it pulls back again he's standing in a completely different place. No loading!

On the downside, that other place is literally Hell. Beeman must really need that shotgun piece urgently if it's important enough to send Constantine to Hell for it.

Hell basically looks like a ruined city full of demons and screams, with rusty cars flying across its rusty sky, and I have a bad feeling I'm going to be spending a lot of time here. I'd rather be in actual places rather than rubble.

Anyway, I'd better start shooting things before they eat me or whatever.

Turns out that the 'primary artefact' in my arsenal is a pistol that does what pistols generally do. It's not the most satisfying handgun I've used in a game but it's taking these weak demons down in one shot so I can't complain.

I can't really complain about the graphics either really. They've even added a nice heat haze effect, on account of the place being on fire. Plus when I backed up too close to a wall here it switched to first person view so that I could see what I was doing, which is a nice touch.

I guess I'm making my way through a building now. There's no quest compass but it's fairly obvious which way I should be heading as there's only one way I can go.

The game doesn't have a jump button so I have to send Constantine running towards the hole and hope he does an automatic Ocarina of Time hop to the other side. It's "a leap without faith", at least that's what he calls it.

The icon that keeps flashing up makes me think that the game has checkpoint saves, but I'm going to go and make a manual save anyway, just to be safe. Not that I've actually done anything yet.

Oh no, Constantine got grabbed by a flying demon! It's a really strange time to start the game credits as putting them here makes it feel like it's supposed to be a comedy.

Fortunately he gets dropped off right next to the artefact he came here to recover!

I just have to shoot some monsters first before I can get over there and grab it.

The gameplay feels like what you'd expect from an average third person shooter released just a month after Resident Evil 4, there's not really any special twist to it so far. I can run around a bit while I shoot, so I'm just trying to get out of their way while keeping the crosshair over them. All this gun combat is a bit more John Wick than John Constantine, but I suppose there was no way they were going to make a movie tie-in adventure game in 2005.

Fun fact: Keanu Reeves has played a character called John, Johnny or Jonathan nine times now, including his roles in Cyberpunk 2077 and the upcoming miniseries Rain.

I grabbed the shotgun piece and Constantine used a vial of water to return to Earth with his prize. He didn't get a completed shotgun for his trouble though. In fact I'm not sure what that mission was about. All I know is that he heads down to Papa Midnight's bar for a drink afterwards.

Then he sets his money on fire before the zombie bartender can pick it up! Constantine is a jerk.

The game's got a bit of a hard-boiled narration going on now, courtesy of the Keanu Reeves impersonator, but it's being just as vague about what's actually going on. Constantine gets a phone call and turns out to be his friend giving him a name: 'Elriu'. Not-Keanu's narration provides no insight into why that sends him walking outside into the rain, but he does mention that it's "A cleansing rain, or one could hope." I'm still getting a Max Payne vibe from him somehow.

Oh by the way I should mention that this has skippable cutscenes, so it gets bonus points for that. And if you want to watch it again, you can restart the current level.

LEVEL 2: FINDING HENNESSEY

Hey it's a real world level... and I'm fighting rats. These things are chasing me around so I have to squish them all, no matter how gross it is.

There doesn't seem to be any way out of this dead end I've started next to though, unless I'm supposed to climb up onto that bin on the right and use it to get over the wall. There's no jump or climb button so all I can do is walk up into things and see if he does something himself.

Oh, I was right, I do have to climb onto the bin. They could've made that a bit more obvious, like shone a light on it or something. Subtly I mean.

Okay, I don't think this is my fault. I tried creeping past a car to get into an open garage and accidentally set the car alarm off. Soon people were yelling "Shut that thing off!" and the car was leaping around, and then the explosions started. I'm not sure what exactly happened though as I was hiding in the garage at the time.

I carried on, shot some demons, climbed a ladder and another scripted thing happened. Then I walked past a basketball court, another scripted thing happened, and so on. I'm just walking down the winding linear path triggering every automated event in this haunted house street ride.

Hey I've met up with the priest from the movie! He was also the guy on the phone, so he and Constantine are able to have a conversation about Elriu which explains... absolutely nothing.

I still don't know why we're looking for this Elriu guy, but he's apparently in a building surrounded by police for some reason. Also demons have broken the rules and entered the world, and a half-angel was killed. I'm sure this is all going to make sense at some point but right now the story feels a bit swiss cheese, with big holes in it.

LEVEL 3: ELRIU'S APARTMENT

Oh plus the guy gives Constantine a book with powerful magic in it. It's called Stormcrow and it apparently gives him the power of the Flash, judging by the logo.

Oh there you go, my handy journal explains that Stormcrow summons lightning bolts to strike multiple enemies.

The journal also says that I need to find a way into Thomas Elriu's apartment, though it doesn't say why. Shouldn't be hard though; I just have to keep walking until I hit a dead end, then walk into all the scenery until I find the bit he wants to climb over.

SOON

Constantine's also got night vision! That's cool, though it reminds me a lot of what Frodo sees when he wears the One Ring in Lord of the Rings. It comes with creepy sounds as well.

Right now I'm using his True Sight to find a secret passage in Elriu's bathroom. Turns out that Elriu is the half-breed angel who was killed, so pieces are starting to fall together now. But it seems that whatever was in there has been taken as all I found was his apartment keys.

I left the apartment and learned that there's also half-breed demons in the game, like this one here. That helpful hint on the right tells me I can throw my holy water grenades to reveal their true form and fight them properly, but I can also see them with my True Sight.

Regular enemies are taking two hits to kill now, but these half-demons take a few more. It's fine though, they're not so bad.

The cops come in, which is bad considering how many dead people there are around, and the smoking guns I'm holding in my hands, but fortunately my priest buddy comes in with them and tells them I'm okay. So that's not an issue then I guess.

Anyway, Elriu worked as the janitor and spent a lot of time in the basement, so that's the next level.

LEVEL 4: ELRIU'S BASEMENT

I found his office right near the start, but the stairs leading up to it have collapsed so I'm pulling this bin over to climb onto. Hey there was a card hidden behind the bin! I've been finding these everywhere but the game hasn't even hinted at what collecting them has been getting me.

Oh, it's apparently cutscene animatics, concept art and interviews. That's pretty cool (though I didn't have to collect anything to unlock the special features on my Constantine movie DVD.)

Well I got up to the office door, but it turns out that it's been padlocked! Now I need to go hunt down a key.

The basement seems suspiciously empty.

This isn't a survival horror with puzzles like Silent Hill, or a full on shooter like Max Payne, but it has elements of both. It also likes to occasionally hold back on the fighting to build tension. Don't worry, I'll know when the enemies are coming because it'll switch to combat music.

Seems like I've got two options here: the flooded passage on the left and the window on the right with a box in front of it.

Oh hang on, there's electricity arcing around the water and I don't see a power switch. Probably best I don't go that way. Time to climb on a box I suppose.

The floor in front of the box collapsed! This sneaky game...

It didn't drop me into an ambush though, I just had to go the long away around to get into the room and collect the workshop key. Then I had to fight off the ambush.

Okay, back to the padlocked door then.

I got into Elriu's workshop and found a new toy called the Crucifier. Looks a bit like a shotgun, but it's only got 10 shots so I'll save it for now.

Seems like my next objective is to go find the Sangre De Dio, whatever that is. Fortunately I have a good idea where to look, as Elriu's workshop led to a generator which let me turn off the power. That means the flooded passageway is safe now. Though it's also made everywhere dark and scary so I'm going back to the water cooler at the beginning of the level to refill my flask to be safe.

I've got a healing flask in this by the way, and there's also bottled water around to collect as health pickups.

Huh? The flooded passage way leads absolutely nowhere. There's nothing around this corner but a dead end.

Though it is asking me to do a spell for some reason. Oh no, I'm standing in water! Seems like the only way out of here is through Hell.

Oh okay, seems like Hell is a distorted parallel ghost dimension that's just a dilapidated clone of the real world. Unfortunately the passageway is still a dead end here! Oh hang on, there's a new passageway outside that gets me around the blocked door. It doesn't lead anywhere though, it's just another dead end, so I have to use a water vial to return to our realm. So basically Constantine went on a trip through Hell just to get through a door. That's pretty hardcore.

I navigated around some leaky steam pipes trying not to lose too much health and found a relic on the other side. That's boosted my magic gauge apparently... which would make more of a difference if I ever used magic.

The fights up to this point have been piss easy and I'm swimming in ammo, but these guys are different. Once the zombie is downed the demon leaps out of the corpse, walks around for a bit, then leaps back in and goes all zombie on me again!

I know the cure for this though: I'm going to use Stormcrow magic on them all. I just have to get enough distance to give me time to go through the full QTE sequence needed to cast it.

Crap, I don't actually know what button to press to start casting magic. It's been so long that I've forgotten! Now other enemies are jumping down to join in, oh crap, oh crap.

Well fuck.

At least I know what the game over screen looks like now. It's nothing flashy I'm afraid.

I guess I should look up what button Stormcrow is again and then I can start kicking myself for not saving more often. That said, the last checkpoint wasn't too far back and there's no evidence here that I can even continue from a manual save.

Feel the power of the mighty Thor, you resurrecting zombie assholes!

Well this went a lot easier the second time around. Not because Stormcrow killed them, no this spell turned out to be a complete waste of time and mana, I just knew this time to get up close and kick the crap out of the demons when they fell out of the zombie corpses. Melee attacks are surprisingly effective in this. Plus the demons dropped blue energy which refilled my mana, so I suppose I can use magic more often than I have been.

Oh the room's full of bottled health water! I totally missed all this both times I played this fight. Plus I found a convenient sink a little while later, so the game's not been too stingy with its healing.

I fought through a few more demon half-breeds, which didn't give me much trouble, and then found myself facing the notorious Sangre de Dio. Which turns out to be the blade from the movie!

To be honest, I only rewatched the first ten minutes or so of the DVD and I have no idea how he gets hold of it in the film, or even if he gets hold of it, but I have a fairly good idea of what I need to do here. These symbols look just like the ones I saw on a note earlier. I just have to check my journal and then walk over the right tiles in the right order to claim my prize! Easy.

I removed the spell around the blade no problem, but then a demon came over to claim it for themselves!

It's a Vermin demon, made up of all kinds of bugs and rats and things, and I don't like it. I especially don't like how I've wasted my holy water, my screech beetle and half my ammo on the thing without even making a dent on his health bar.

Turns out the Crucifer isn't a shotgun at all, it's a nailgun (the clue's in the name), so I can hold the button down to empty my ammo into the demon rapid fire and throw my precious nails away with absolutely no effect!

I don't get what to do here at all.

Oh I just had to punch it and then stomp on the rats while it struggled to reform itself. I told you that melee attacks are surprisingly effective. I think Constantine fought a creature like this in the movie as well, though it was in the street with cars driving past, so they've taken some liberties with the story here.

Anyway I defeated the Vermin demon and brought the treasure back to Beeman, who then sent me out on another mission to find a book in a library. But I think I've gathered enough screenshots now to complete this ritual.


CONCLUSION

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That wasn't so bad! I've been dreading playing the game for years because all I've ever seen of it was the Hell levels and I expected it to be mostly that. But it seems that the brown Hell zone is just an occasional break from grey reality.

I feel like I should start by listing all the things I didn't like about the game, but I can't actually think of any major problems. The shooting isn't all that exciting or satisfying but I wasn't frustrated by it. The graphics are dark, miserable and kind of dated, but it's a 2005 PS2 game based on the movie Constantine, so you get what it says on the box. The worst thing I can say about the music is that I wasn't exactly humming any of it afterwards. I suppose the story has been a bit... completely impenetrable even to people who know the character and have seen the movie, but it's been making more sense as it goes on, and the Keanu Reeves soundalike does a decent enough job.

From the first hour of gameplay it seems like an unspectacular but competent third person shooter with a lot of linear paths and scripted events. It apparently takes around 8 hours to beat, which is fairly typical, and I can imagine most of that time would be spent making progress rather than replaying tough fights as it's been pretty easy so far on normal difficulty. But then I've only played the start of the game so there could be a difficulty spike right around the corner.


So here are the final rankings for the three Keanu Reeves games I played this week:

1. Constantine.
2. I wouldn't tell anyone not to play a game.
3. But really you're probably better off not playing the computer versions of Bill & Ted or Amiga Bram Stoker's Dracula.

Apologies for anyone who was hoping I'd play The Matrix: Path of Neo or John Wick Hex. I'm also sorry for all the people who were hoping to play Cyberpunk 2077 tomorrow before it got delayed. I had been tempted to move Keanu Reeves week so it'd count down to the new release date instead... but then I didn't.

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Thanks for reading! Right now I'm only planning to write about one more game in 2020, so you've got one last chance to take a guess at what it'll be. Good luck!

You could also leave a comment about Constantine, or your favourite Keanu Reeves games, or whatever. Also drop by the Discord server some time and say hi.