The Oregon Trail (MS-DOS)

This game's quite famous, but I don't recall ever playing it myself. To be honest I've somehow managed to avoid knowing anything about the game, so I'll be going in totally clueless.

Wow, that looks pretty bad. Yeah, I know it's a PC game made in 1990, but so was Monkey Island and that looks far better.

I named the five people in my wagon, chose my profession (banker, so I'm rich), and asked the shopkeeper how much of everything I should buy. Then I bought more of it.

Wow, the Oregon Trail itself is pretty dark isn't it? It's like a black void with a bit of grass on the horizon.

Anyway, I'm doing well so far. The weather's cool, my health is good, I have plenty of food. Onto day 2.
And the wagon automatically wanders leftwards.

No... don't get cholera! We haven't even crossed the first river yet and you're already getting sick. How are we going to get across this thing anyway?

Ah, I threw money at the problem and it went away. Lucky that ferry was there.

WHAT? How? All she does is sit in the back of the wagon. Hmm, it seems I've lost a quarter of my food already, I need to keep an eye on that.

Whoa, that's quite a distance away isn't it? I set off in April to give myself a good chance of getting there before winter, but I'm starting to think I should have set off earlier.

Hey, the hunting is a minigame! I get enough food to last for ages, but sadly our hero can only carry a tiny fraction of it back.

Son of a BITCH! That's like breaking into my car and stealing the engine. I guess I just sit here then and wait for someone to show up with oxen to sell. Yay.

Finally! I'm not likely to make very good time with just one oxen though. I'm going to have to get more at the next town. Fortunately I'm rich, ahah!

What? C'mon we were only 18 miles from... a rock, too!

And then my wagon spontaneously explodes. It's not a huge disaster though to be honest, I only lost some spare parts, a bit of food, and my wardrobe.

Oh come on, they're not even trying anymore. That wall is clearly made of cardboard, held up by wooden beams.

I spend the last of my cash on food and oxen. Hmm, it's December already? Perhaps it would actually be more sensible trying to last out the winter here, then heading back on the trail when it's warm.

Those look like some pretty nasty looking mountains to traverse in a blizzard.

Okay, it's decided, I wait here.... WHAT? Lisa... but... what? How?

Damn, I guess I should have started earlier and put my foot on the accelerator. It seems like being here in winter is a death sentence whatever I do.

And then my wagon breaks down. And all my spare parts have exploded.

I guess I just wait here on a mountain in the snow for someone to come by with a replacement part then. I have a feeling I might be here a while.

Well... fuck.

Our hero bravely travels onwards on his own. Even with a single mouth to feed the rations are still ticking away. But animals are getting scarce now. Or maybe he just sucks at hunting.

And that's it. The moral of the story, don't go to Oregon I guess? Or go there on a plane. In summer.


Next game.