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Sunday, 18 September 2011

Blood Warrior (Arcade)

This is the sequel to another arcade game called Shogun Warrior, which took a little inspiration from Street Fighter II. I wonder what fighting game this one was inspired by...

Yeah, those definitely seem to be digitized actors playing the fighters, Mortal Kombat style.

Hey, they've put the special moves on the character screen so I don't have to figure them out myself. That's pretty decent of them.

I decided to choose the most boring character, a ninja with a cardboard star on his back. The game, determined not to be outdone, also chose the same character. It's a shame that cat's not playable, that'd make things more interesting.

I've already forgotten what my character's moves are, but I'm sure if I try a few standard inputs I'll stumble onto something.

There you go, a deadly cardboard throwing star projectile attack.

It told me to finish him, so I pressed some buttons and this happened. Ninjas sure have a lot of blood in them don't they?

I tried showing off with a cool victory pose, but that damn cat totally upstaged me.

He looks like the world's deadliest ninja fairy.

Damn, this guy's kicking my ass in his sleep. And he brought his friends to watch.

Fuck, he just blew up my ninja! What an asshole.

I really hope there's a move that lets me grab his head by both earrings and slam my knee into his smug face.

I don't know who this skeleton is, but he seems pretty pissed off that I got beaten. Okay then, let's try this one more time, for the skeleton's sake.

Whoa, this kappa turtle has Dhalsim moves. This guy can't even get close to me.

Whoa, did I just kick his head off? Stretchy turtleman is amazing. It'd be a real struggle to for me lose this fight seeing as I can kick him from the other side of the screen.

Somehow though, against the odds, I manage to get my ass kicked in the second round.

Fortunately I make a spectacular comeback in round 3, and tear his stupid smug face off.

It's okay, he was only a fake video game monk, not the genuine Ksitigarbha. No religious figures were harmed during this fighting tournament.

The face of a winner.

It's awesome how they actually got an actor dressed up in a kappa outfit for this character. No stop motion here.

Sanpei the ninja turtle versus... oh well this ain't fair.

Damn, this woman is the female Freddy Kruger. She just eviscerated my poor kappa.

Look at those digitised assholes cheering her on the background. They just want to see my poor turtleman bleed. Let's see how they like it next round when Sanpei shockingly turns the tables on young Kasumi the Kappa Slayer.

Wow, that's just... wow.

Did I even get a hit in on her?

Hah, she's no match for the guy's close range lightsaber fighting style. Especially as she probably can't even see me against this background.

I mean I can barely see me against this background.

I think that's fairly decisive. Round one goes to the lightsaber samurai.

Hey, less of that! Especially now I'm so close to actually winning.

Whoa. This woman does not mess around.

Okay let's drag this guy off and shove the next challenger into the ring.

It's nice of them to pose for a screenshot for once. Usually game characters are way too absorbed in their own business to work with me to set up a decent shot, but these two made the effort and I appreciate that.

I'm still going to beat her up though.

Benkei seems to be a jack of all trades, carrying a bag of different weapons around on his back. He seems to pull out a new one with each different attack.

I'm a fan of this ball and chain though. It's got a bit of a range to it, and seems dangerous enough. Though maybe I can find something better in here to use...

Ah, that's better. Rocket ball and chain. It's got a little more mass to it, so it hits harder. Plus, rockets.

You know, I almost believed I could win this too. Then she pulls out her purple head projectile attack and ruins everything. Again.

I'm sure I can beat her with this character though, I just need to refine my strategy.

Ah, that did it. I had the right idea first time around, I just wasn't thinking big enough.

I kinda feel a little bad about this now though. Then again, she killed my turtle! Screw her.

He looks so... happy.

Whoa, you dick! That was totally uncalled for.

You just wait there, I'm gonna just run out and grab another character. We'll see who is cutting who in two then.

Oh, I'm out of continues. Never mind then. Sorry my skeletal friend, but I'm out of the tournament.


This was actually better made than I was expecting. I can't say if it's any good as a fighting game (though I could make a guess...), but it's pretty slick and responsive. Plus I didn't win any fights by spamming one move over and over, which is always a good sign. And it definitely had blood and warriors in, so I can't complain there. I think I'd have to say that the world is a better place with this game in it.

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