Astérix (NES)

I've already played a different Asterix game, on the Sega Mega Drive, and I'm pretty sure this is going to be a platformer too.

Yeah this is definitely an entirely different game, it has a different intro.

How did they capture that guy anyway? It looks like they just waited for him to fall asleep then carried him off on their shields.

Well now that I know something's going to be in jeopardy if I don't rush off and recover Obelix, I'd better get moving.

Looks alright, the controls are slick. Could this be... a good game?

I grabbed the stars and then punched the mysterious A block to get a third star.

Oh right. I forgot Asterix has got a tiny range on his punch in these games.

Oh come on, that was totally a hit that time! Asterix controls very well, but this punch attack keeps throwing me off.

I recognise this nefarious tree from the other game, but I'm still trying to figure out what those A blocks are meant to be.

Hey, how come the boar gets to run on the spikes? You know, I bet I have to jump onto the back of that thing to ride across the spikes.

Being right would have been so much more satisfying if I hadn't missed the thing on my first jump and ended up losing two hit points.

On the plus side at least now I know they're not insta-kill spikes. Which is nice.

Collecting stars seems to have teleported me into a bonus stage. Plus grabbing 100 got me an extra life which is always handy.

Even if they were useless I'd probably end up grabbing them anyway. They're shiny irresistible little collectables that make a nice sound when you grab them. Also the bonus stage has a nice tune. All the music's been more than bearable now that I think about it.

The boars get to walk on the spikes, the Romans get to walk on the spikes. Everyone gets to walk on these damn spikes except for me.

Yeah I tried just walking onto the spikes from the side.

For some reason I need to catapult myself off the level to finish. I suppose it makes as much sense as leaping to a flag, or running past a sign, or jumping on a target.

Crap. For some reason I wasn't expecting to be able to just run off the ledge into a bottomless pit there.

Oh, no, wait... it's not a bottomless pit. I just heard him hit the ground with a thud. He landed so hard that the screen shook.

Oh for fuck's sake... how can that not be close enough?

Also I still don't get what these A blocks are supposed to look like. I don't know why that bothers me, but it does.

Okay forget the A blocks, what the hell is THAT thing supposed to be?

Full automatic self loading micro catapults with variable arcs of fire and infinite ammo. How annoying. Especially when I've only got one hit point left.

Damn, that was close. I keep forgetting the Romans can throw spears from off screen. Still, I've made it now. That's the level end catapult on the right.

Son of a BITCH. A spear from off screen just killed me halfway through the catapult animation! That totally should have been a win.

Uh, is this a boss fight? Another bonus level? I can't walk off screen, and I can barely see the barrels this guy is throwing at me against the background. It wasn't very helpful of them to make them the same colour.

Oh, I get it! I have to jump from barrel to barrel in the air to reach that wreath. I immediately screwed it up and fell into a pit, but I get it.

It's winter already? The good news is that this level isn't one of those frictionless ice worlds. The bad news is that snowman isn't going to run out of ammo any time soon, and I have only one hit point and zero lives left.

Well that's it. I've lost my morale now. Asterix's punch attack is so short ranged that it's sapping all the joy out of the game for me. Everything about this game so far is fine except for that miserable punch attack.

ONE CREDIT? Okay, everything about the game is fine except for the crap punch, and only having one extra credit.

I don't know who that is, but he has a badass silhouette. I think it's the animated cape billowing in the wind that makes it work.

Okay this is my last and final shot at the game then, I'd better not screw this up. It doesn't help that there's a snowman off screen on the right trying to pelt me with snowballs.

Okay, I need to take out the bird, wait and dodge the snowball, then jump underneath the A blocks, punch one, then dodge another snowball and kill the snowman. That's not too difficult.

Well okay it's a little difficult.

You know, I actually want to continue playing this. It's a pretty decent game and the music is catchy. But I don't want to play it badly enough to replay the entire first world. I've beaten those levels, I'm done with them thanks.

From what I've played I'd give it an almost recommendation, I'm half recommending this.