Drakkhen (SNES)

Wow. So, rpg then do you reckon?

What? That can't be real.

Wait, let me check this again... hang on a second.

Yes, this definitely seemed to come in a proper box. It has the official Nintendo Seal of Quality there and everything. It's a real game!

Well, okay then. I can see a castle directly ahead, so lets check that out. With any luck there'll be lots of boring people to talk to, maybe an inn where we can find some quests.

Well okay there's nothing in there except locked doors, let's go explore the wilderness then shall we gentlemen?

The beauty of nature.

Oh shit, it's a monster! Kick him! Get it him on the floor and kick him! Where's the button to make them kick... nevermind, they've killed him already themselves. We lost a guy in the fight, but we split his gear between the rest of the lads so it's okay.

Oh fuck! What... what is THAT? It's firing lasers from its eyes at my dudes! SCATTER, RUN AWAY!! Where's the button to make them run away?

He left this one alive? It seems like doesn't want to kill this guy. Well, okay, I guess we'll, uh, leave then... bye!

Agh, he shot him in the back as he ran away. What a dick.