Greendog (Genesis/Mega Drive)

I have to admit that this is only half what I imagined. I thought 'stylish logo text, "cool" hero... possibly even an actual green dog'. I was NOT expecting that semi-realistic art style though.

It looks like a badly digitized cut up painting or something.

C'mon, give me somewhere to land! You can't kill enemies by jumping on them in this. Instead you need to get in the right place and throw a boomerang or a frisbee or whatever. Also, this is half a level away from the last screenshot, honest.

These bastards kept circling over my head, not letting me get up and hit them. Then suddenly one goes crazy, his eyes jump out, and he tries to murder me!

I try not to react when piranhas are eating me. I don't want to give them the satisfaction of thinking they've won.

Though it may look identical to every other bird in the level, you're not supposed to kill it this one. You have to jump onto it and ride it instead.

Now we're in the dark grainy caves. Joy.

Oh hey, it's a raft bit! You know, where you ride the raft along the water and jump obstacles? Everyone must love the raft bit or else they wouldn't keep putting it in everything.

I eventually figured out how to open this door, but at that point I just didn't care anymore. Not even my new umbrella hat could keep me entertained. It's just not a very interesting game.